Monday, December 22, 2014

My gosh you guys, I AM TIRED!!!!!!!!!

I seem to have gotten my holiday mojo back this weekend and I'm actually, for the first time this year, feeling a little bit excited about Christmas. I finished my shopping, sewed 16 pairs of pajamas, and ALL packages to out of state family members have been mailed. I even cooked homemade chicken noodle soup and rolls for dinner last night. Just call me Santa's little helper. Like the dog. On the Simpsons.

It's amazing what you can get done when you don't have any homework, and also when you wake up at 3 A.M. and can't get back to sleep.

It wasn't my plan to get up that early, but I made the best of it. I did some last minute shopping on Amazon, (Everyone on my list who was going to be stuck with one of those silly impersonal gift cards, is now getting a book I think they should read*!! Let's hear it for insomnia!!! 6 people are getting The Secret. Bahahahaha!! {Not really...about The Secret, but totes for reals about the books....someday you'll thank me...or not}.) Then I caught up on all of the online gossip about Kim Kardashian** and prepared my lesson for church. (I teach a Sunday School class to the 6 & 7 year olds, you can't really walk in there unprepared, although, as evidenced by my lack of preparation until Sunday morning, that was clearly my plan.{To be clear, the lesson was not about the Kardashian's, it was about gift giving. So I guess, in a way, it was about the Kardashians, because, Kim and Kanye are just like the Jelly of the Month Club, they're the gift that keeps on giving}.) By the time my husband got out of bed at 7:00, I was finishing up the last of my sewing while having a Taylor Swift marathon.

Anywho. This morning when I woke up at 3 A.M. and couldn't go back to sleep I was much less able to see the bright-side of things. I really really tried to sleep more, which is like willing your phone to ring when you're waiting for an important call. It never happens. So I finally got up at 4;00, and now here I am.

*I totally stole the book idea from my friend Lori, who is doing a much sweeter and less passive aggressive version with her family where she gives them a book she loves and writes individual letters telling them why.

**I did not really read anything online about Kim Kardashian. I don't even know why I said that. I guess I just wanted to sound cool. Which I did, right? 

Sunday, December 21, 2014

The mid-life crisis tour continues...

NOTE~ I found this in my draft folder this morning, I'm not sure why I didn't post it when I wrote it, but I'm posting it now, so there. Anyway, it's a couple of months old, just so you don't go thinking I wrote it yesterday or today even. Although I'm not sure why it matters WHEN I wrote it, just, I guess being an open book and all that jazz. 

Last week I listened to a podcast (it's how I pass the day at work. Praise be for itunes and their wide variety of listening material, it SAVES me. For reals.), anyway, I was listening to this podcast, and there was an interview with the Jenny Slate who does the voice of Marcel the Shell, and she was talking about times when people have written roles that they said were written specifically for her. Sometimes she said, the parts were not like, the nicest people, and it had gotten her to wondering if other people saw her as not so nice, because that is not how she sees herself at all.

I know it's not uncommon for people to not have a clear picture of how others see them, but she wasn't talking about some narcissistic thing where she thinks she's sweet and lovely and others see her as cold and calculated. She, I think... I'd hate for her to read this (hahahahaha!) and be like, nooooo..... that's not at all what I was saying. So, to be clear, what I THINK she was getting at is, that she sees herself as funny, but mostly in a nice way, and people kept bringing her these roles, written just for her, that were funny in a sharp, might cut somebody way, and she started to worry a little bit.

That got me thinking about myself. A couple of times lately people have offhandedly described me in ways that I don't see myself at all, and they weren't trying to be mean, just telling it the way they see it. And LETS BE CLEAR, I am a person who lives with my faults and crazy ALL DAY LONG, I know about my stuff, but I'm also a person who spends a lot of time in my head, maybe a little too much time, and I believe, no I KNOW, that I am so much more that the crazy stuff that leaks out. 

Yes. I'm sarcastic and easily annoyed. And I am FOR SURE that crazy girl who panics and runs away from vending machines. I'm also high strung at times, and definitely put pressure on myself to do well and have expectations that those around me will do the same. I get how those qualities could seem poky. But I also feel like I have a softer side. One that is compassionate and irrationally optimistic. I believe in the good in (most) people and that things can change if enough of us work together toward that change. I'm not afraid of the future, except for the times the future means a math test is waiting to karate chop me around the corner. AND I can be really fun and spontaneous on occasion, Although admittedly, those times seem grow further and further apart as I become old and jaded. 

Introspection seems to be turning into a theme here on ye olde blog these days, sorry about that. As I try to fight off turning 50 in a few years I'm realizing that there are things that aren't working. Things that are within my power to change and one of those things is working at keeping less in my head so I can be all of who I know I am, not just the neurotic parts that everyone sees because I'm not good at hiding them.

I'd like to end by saying, according to Blogger, this is my 1001st post. Whew, That seems like a lot of gushing about nothing. I'm torn between the urge to have a party or closing this thing down and shutting my trap, but neither one of those is a good option for me, parties make my hands sweat and shutting up is, well, not my thing, so I'll probably just keep on like I have been. One post at a time.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

A post where I unsuccessfully use a lot of ... and / in an effort to save time.

This is going to have to be quick because I have a million (and one) things to do today, but I'm trying super hard to perfect my procrastination skills, so...tada!!

I love/hate the holiday season. Buying crap no one needs and living up to all of the unreasonable exceptions I have for myself, blech! And Christmas parties...who needs em?? The holidays are the WORST for those of us who don't like to see/talk to/touch other people. On the other hand, the lights, the music, Bing Crosby and Danny F-ing Kaye?? Can one ever get too much of those things? I think not! And peppermint flavored EVERYTHING! DUDES!!? Heck ya!

School is almost done for the semester, which makes me happy and sad (my inability to pick one emotion to feel is just as annoying for me as it is for you...and my husband, so just know that, okay).
I'm happy because the stress of work/life/school gets to be a bit much, but sad because as dorky and nerdy as it sounds, I really LOVE school and learning. I am a dorky nerd. Recently I was sending a text message and I typed fork, but my phone changed it to dork. Which was what I actually intended to type. My phone knows me too well. Which is a spooky topic for a different day.

Ok. For reals y'all, I have to go. Have a holly jolly weekend!!

p.s. it took me 45 minutes to write these 2 and half paragraphs, this does not bode well for the 6 page paper I have been putting off all week.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Hey there!

I was going to write something this morning but then I got distracted by this great story on Kottke about David Sedaris having a garbage truck named after him.  So, go read that instead. It's awesome.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Sometimes even I can't believe the stuff I do...

At work there are vending machines. Obviously. Nowadays you don't have to have cash for vending machines, you can use your card. Did you know that? Well, you can. 

The other day, at work, I decided I would get myself a snack but I didn't have any cash. Which fortunately did not matter. Or at least I didn't think it would matter.

I need to pause here to tell you that I have anxiety 80% of the time I'm at work because I worry that someone is going to try to engage me in conversation. It's not that I don't like people, but I'm awkward, and casual conversations with my co-workers seems to really magnify my awkwardness. 

So...It's mid-afternoon, which in my mind should have been a low traffic time at the vending machines, and I take my card and go to get a snack. I swipe it, nothing happens. I'm not a vending machine pro, I've used them before, but only with cash, I don't know what is supposed to happen when I use my card, but nothing does, so I wait. Then 3 chatty girls come in and sort of form a line behind me, because they want snacks too, I guess. INSTANTLY my palms get sweaty and my heart speeds up. 

I'm a dork who cannot use a vending machine and now there are witnesses. 

I take a deep breath, enter my selection again and STILL nothing happens. So I did what anyone of you would have done, I asked the girls waiting behind me how the machine works. 


That is NOT what I did. What I did was PANIC. I backed away from the vending machine empty handed, and said "you guys go ahead" and walked quickly out of the break-room. But not so quickly that I missed the puzzled looks on their faces as to why I would swipe my card, enter my selection, and leave with nothing

I am a giant weirdo who now has to sit at her desk with her head down hoping none of those girls ever cross my path again, which really sucks because in my haste to get away from them I forgot to memorize what they looked like. 

There. Now you can enjoy your weekend being relieved that,even if you're a little quirky, at least you're not me. 

Monday, September 29, 2014


I have 2 exams this week so I took the day off from work to study. I am currently 100 feet into the procrastination portion of my study plan. I have checked facebook and instagram, eaten 3 rice crispy treats, and done a load of laundry. The next logical step seemed to be to get started on the flashcards write a blog post.

I've been missing my kids lately.

Especially this one~


He's just over a month into a nine month deployment to the Mediterranean Sea. It already feels like he's been gone forever.

But its not just the kid that's out in the middle of the ocean who I miss. I miss all of my kids. As they grow up we spend less and less time together and I know less and less about their day to day lives and it makes me sad. A little. I mean I know this is how it's supposed to be, Circle of life and all that crap. But you know what? There are days I love to go back 10 years and just freeze things.

Time flies and it's just not fair. 

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Just a couple quick items...

 1. While I can imagine it's a horrible thing to have naked pictures of yourself leaked onto the internet, I have to ask....WHY are there so many naked pictures of these women available for leakage? I can't say there are NO naked pictures of me anywhere, but I can say if there ARE, they were taken when I was less than a year old. Pictures of my grown-up self without any clothes on DO NOT exist. Just sayin'.

2. If you have not read this or listened to this you really should.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Whoa!! 2 days in a row!?

I KNOW!! I can't believe I'm here again either, but yesterday went quite a bit better, and lo, though I'm not a superstitious person, I figured it couldn't hurt to wear the same socks I wore yesterday and get up early to write a short blog post.

Last night our daughter had a band concert.....can we talk about those things for minute? WHY SO LONG BAND TEACHER?? I love my kid, we ALL love our kids, but seriously, 2 hours, on a week night where each arrangement is introduced as being written by "one of the most proflific composers of our time, or all time, or his time" come on now son!! It's toooooooo much.


Anyway!! I got there early and these two women came and sat a couple of rows behind me. I was trying to study the elasticity of demand but they were talking and talking and it was enough to distract me from the fascinating algebraic formulas in my text book. If you know my love of a good equation you know that is no easy feat. Good golly they had A LOT to complain about. Or at least they thought they did.

Perspective makes all the difference, don't you agree? Most of us have so  much less to be unhappy about than we admit. Complaining seems to be something we do, like it's our version of my grandpa's version of, "I can top that one, did you hear about the...?" (Not that my grandpa every played I Can One Up You, he's not that kind of guy, but you know what I mean, right?)

Ok. Gotta run. Today's gonna be even better than yesterday, I'm sure of it.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Hey there!!

I miss blogging. Is that weird?

Not blogging exactly, but spilling my guts on a semi-regular basis is therapeutic.  The less I write, the more things jangle around in my head, and I start to feel like I need some serious in-person therapy to get things straight.

I'm still in school, which I love, and I'm still working, I love the part about that where I get money. So there's that.

I've been thinking the past couple of weeks about living in the moment and enjoying each stage of my life. Are there people who are good at that? (Please say no.) I want to be able to, at the very least, be present, instead of always rushing through this thing so I can get to that thing. I'm like a mouse in a maze and all I can think about is getting to the cheese at the end. Lately though, I feel like I run into the walls A LOT.

I should be doing homework right now. I should ALWAYS be doing homework. I keep waking up in the middle of the night wondering how I got to be such a crank. I'm so worried about what needs to be done, running from thing to thing, that I'm "in a state" 90% of the time. Bless my heart. A couple of times last week I laughed loud and hard about something and it caught me off guard. I'm pretty sure I used to be more fun.


My late night conversations with myself have convinced me that there must be a way for me to do all of the things I'm doing, but be balanced, and fun for crying out loud. If you can't be fun what's the point?? If I had to describe myself I would say optimistic and happy, curious, loving, sarcastically funny, and nervous in a way that is debilitating at times. These days though the nervous beating out all of the other stuff and the sarcasm has turned bitter and I don't like it. Not one little bit.

Here's to spilling my guts and getting back on track.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I have to know...

What's the deal here? I saw this "Bottle Maker" at Target a few weeks ago. Is this really a thing that people are buying? 

Back in the day, when our kids were babies, admittedly it's been 13 years since I made a bottle so I suppose things could have changed dramatically, but in the olden days we just scooped the formula into the bottle, added water, and shook it up. It was pretty straight forward, and also nearly 100% incident free. 

BUT NOW...The Formula Pro does ALL OF THAT EXHAUSTING AND OH SO TRICKY work for you...

For some reason I feel inclined to blame Paris Hilton for this.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Trying to catch up...

Ugh! I am swamped lately, and my classes don't even start until next week. (To say I'm a tiny bit nervous would be a GIANT understatement.) However, life goes on and we handle what we can, right? Working in the office has proved to be pretty much what I thought it would be. The work part hasn't changed, and it's not that being there is so terrible, it's just that NOT being at home and NOT having any flexibility is kind of inconvenient. (I was going to say terrible, but I'm trying to have perspective and not be an overstater, so I used restraint. Please feel free to compliment my mature attitude.)

Anywho, on the bright side (?) one week each month we get to work a 4-10's schedule so we can have a Friday off. That was this past week, and I hate to brag, but I KILLED it this weekend. I got SO much done. I grocery shopped, I did ALL of the laundry, cooked meals and FROZE them (like a domestic goddess), got all of my folders, highlighters, and favorite pencils packed and ready for my first day of school (like the neurotic nerd that I am), cleaned my house (though, not to a "having visitors" level, mostly just to a "we're not about to die from the unsanitary condidtions up in here" level), I voted, and completed, or at least got a good start on a host of other minor errands and neglected tasks. I'm not gonna lie. I was feeling pretty accomplished by the end of the day yesterday. Who knows how long it will last (about 3 days is my guess), but it will be nice to start the week a little ahead of the game. 

I am sorely behind in the business of chronicling our lives for posterity. I'm going to try to catch up a bit this week. I'm starting with a quick trip we took to Tucson in June, and I just realized I didn't post about Mother's Day yet, so that will be next. 

When I was growing up my parents were awesome about taking us to see stuff. We were constantly going to museums and battleships, or to see local landmarks. My grandpa was the king of finding off the beaten path places to show us (think "world's largest ball of string") and I remember many times when my mom would get up early, fry some chicken and make some potato salad (FROM SCRATCH), then pack a picnic (IN A BASKET) and we would drive to Lincoln's birthplace, or the Stephen Foster Home, or when we were driving her nuts, maybe to a whiskey distillery. (I grew up in Kentucky, where it's perfectly normal for people take their kids to see where the magic happens.)

They were great times. I'm sure my brothers and I were kicking and screaming all the way, but that's not what I remember, I remember that my parents made it a priority to get us out of the house and to show us stuff. 

When our kids were younger we were pretty good about going places, but eventually there were 5 of them and 2 of us and we were (are) all busy and blah blah blah. SOOOO, this summer I decided to bring back the traditions I was raised with and drag my kids to see some crap they could care less about in the name of making memories. 

The first stop on the torture train was a trip to the Titan Missile Museum, just outside of Tucson. It's a Cold War missile silo and the tour was super interesting. The whole time I was thinking of how much my grandpa would have loved it. I didn't fry any chicken, but I think they had fun anyway. 
 This picture was taken after the tour, so maybe they're just smiling because it's over. 
(Don't ask why he's wearing a tie. I don't know. I don't ask anymore.)

The tour is not long (I think about an hour) and the volunteers who run the museum were great. If you live around here and you're interested in making your kids miserable too, here's a link...

Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy 4th!!

But first, you guys, I have forgotten the password to my email account. Do you want to know WHY this happened? Okay. I'll tell you. Too many passwords!!! Passwords at home, at school, at work, on my stupid phone. For the love of .....grrr! 


It's the 4th of July. I LOVE July 4th. I love all of the patriotic holidays. I love wearing my red white and blue tie dye peace sign shirt and bbqing, and eating watermelon till I nearly explode and I love watching fireworks. (Even though we hardly ever do because it's so blasted ovenly and crowded here that we usually head home early and listen to our neighbors violate ALL of the fireworks ordinances by shooting exploding things into the air, because, why not, right? We only live in the DESERT!! Where it rains NEVER.) I love reflecting on the freedoms we really truly are so fortunate to have, and I extra love giving my kids a speech about those things and about having gratitude and not taking them for granted and also, I throw in a couple of lines about talk radio being the downfall of America, and how they should ALWAYS wear sunscreen. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Deep thoughts, not Jack Handy deep, but you know, deepish.

 This is my work uniform. Sometimes I take off the flip-flops. 

For the last 6+ years I have had the good fortune of being able to work from home. When I decided to go back to school one huge reason I was able to jump right in was because of the flexibility of my work situation. I have always tried not to take being able to work from home for granted. I never planned to be a stay at home mom, but as soon as I was one, I was in it. All the way. I wasn't planning on working while my kids were still in school, but this job was too good to pass up, and you know how it goes, you start earning money and it's hard to go back to NOT earning money. Stupid money. 

Not making plans could easily be the theme of my life. I didn't plan to join the Army, I just did it one day. I didn't plan to get married, I didn't plan to have five kids. I didn't plan to do anything and and that has been both a blessing and a curse. Its certainly easy to go with whatever if you weren't really headed someplace else anyway, on the other hand, I think we can all agree that not heading anyplace gets old after about 40 years or so.

A few weeks ago I found out that some changes have been made, and the company I work for will no longer be allowing any employees to work from home. If I want to keep my job I have to put on non-elastic waist pants and show up in the office everyday. EVERYDAY. I will probably have to wear make-up too, or at the very least comb my hair.

When I got the news I cried. I thought about what I was going to have to give up. Then I made a list of those things and cried some more.

1. Taking my kids to and from school
2. Being at home before and after school with my kids
3. Making dinner HAHAHA!!( I don't make dinner!)
4. Doing laundry on my breaks
5. Long lunches
6. Talking to my brothers on the phone in the middle of the day
7. Eating cereal at my desk while wearing sweatpants
8. Looking out the window while I work

Those were just the first things that came to me, there are more but I'm trying not to think about them, and I'm not going to show you the list of uncomfortable things I HAVE to do now. I know that so many people don't even have the luxury of making a choice in a situation like this. They work or they don't eat. I know I've been lucky. I'm trying not to mess up my karma by complaining too much.

Comparison really is the thief of joy, isn't it?

I may not have made too many plans, but I definitely have a ideas about what being a good mother looks like. Which is dumb, plenty of good moms work and plenty of bad moms don't. Having a job isn't what decides what kind of mom you are. My mom worked when I was growing up. She had to. And somehow, after working away from home all day she managed to come home and cook dinner every night. Like a real dinner, not grilled cheese or frozen pizza. There was fried meat, REAL mashed potatoes and gravy, and at least one vegetable that had been cooked beyond the point of its nutritional value and covered in cheese. Every night. How did she do that? My mom got A LOT of crap done. She IRONED, not only her clothes, but ours too. I know that she did what she had to do, and she was there when she could be, but my brothers and I were on our own a lot, and I never wanted that for my kids. They aren't babies, our youngest is 14, but in the grand scheme of things, 14, it's not really that old, you know? 

I've been thinking about courage...and how little I have compared to so many other people. I really think that's why I don't make plans. Failure scares the living daylights out of me. But I'm trying to live differently. Learning lessons from being alive and all that stuff. So now I've made plans, I'm going to school, I'm excited about my future and as Scarlet O'Hara is my witness I am NOT going to change those plans. I'm just going to adjust.

Pearl S. Buck, who I think was very wise, said, "Many people lose the small joys in the hope for big happiness."  I know that is true. I try not to be someone who is always searching for something better, but I believe if you work really hard at keeping things in perspective you can have both the small joys and the big happiness. I'm going to keep going to school and I'm going to be available for my kids and I'm going to go to work and wear real pants and make eye contact with actual humans everyday and it's not going to kill me. Other people have done it and not died (or so I've heard), and I can too. 

And with that I leave you with a small joy...

This is so much more hilarious in person. I spray painted those dinosaurs silver and I love them so much that I arranged them at the feet of my sparkly Virgin Mary penny bank. Every single time I see them it makes me laugh. Do you think I can get by with taking these to the office with me, or is this some kind of HR violation? Would I be offending both the religious and the evolutionist? 

Friday, June 13, 2014

Never underestimate the power of the internet

David Babaii for Wild Aid David Babaii for WildAid Bohemian Beach Spray

I kept seeing "beach spray" all over Pinterest. It gives your hair body, texture, a beachy look. All that stuff. It sounds so carefree and summery. And the smell!! Ooh! 

All the sea salt spray gals talk about the smell.

I hadn't ever really thought about wanting my hair to look beachy, but now, with everyone talking about how great it was, I figured I must be missing out on a real good hair time so I grabbed a bottle the other day. 

Because as you know, I'm all about the hip trends. In fact, the last time I was at the beach I was wearing this...
(Sorry if the angle is making you want to throw up, our daughter took this picture. I'd rotate it if I knew how, but I'm not really sure that would help.)

The idea was my hair would end up looking like this...
.beach hair
I hate to break it to you, but after a not so lengthy trial period, I've concluded that beach hair is not all that great. Additionally, it seems to be a lot like what my hair looks like when I get out of bed in the morning, a look I achieve perfectly without spraying fake ocean water on my head. (I'm not posting a picture of that, you'll have to use your imaginations.)

I've used the spray a couple of times and I don't really notice a difference besides my hair feeling a little crunchy (I'm guessing that has something to do with the kelp...I don't even like knowing kelp exists, and now I am spraying it's essence on my hair, what the??). When I googled "beach spray doesn't work" I learned that maybe my hair wasn't dirty enough. 

I know I've mentioned the mysteries of dry shampoo before, but are you aware that there are women out there going 7 to 10 days without washing their hair THEN they spray it with seaweed infused water so they can look like they've been to the beach? Come on now! That is not right!!

After a great deal of reflection (too much reflection really), I have decided that beach hair is not for me. I'm not even a huge fan of the beach (sand...ya know?) and also, I should keep away from the Pinterest. Next thing you know I'll be trying to eliminate my arm pit fat* while eating six layer brownies*.

*Both are REAL categories on Pinterest. Holy moly. I didn't even know there was such a thing as arm pit fat until Pinterest came along, much less a movement to eliminate it. Ladies, we may be taking this whole "looking good" thing a little too far.

Monday, June 9, 2014

She took that whole "9 lives" thing a little too seriously.

I figured you've probably all been wondering, because really what else do you have to do besides think about my and my life, so I thought I would give you an update on our cat situation.

The time finally came a couple of weeks ago when we had to take poor old Tiger to the vet and end things.  

It was a hard choice to make, but in addition to all of the geriatric cat things she'd been doing for months she had also started falling off of furniture and trying to make leaps that she no longer had the balance, or the judgment, to land and I was worried she was going to hurt herself. The vet said she was probably the oldest cat he'd ever seen and that we were doing the right thing, I still feel like a killer. It's dumb, probably, to get so emotional over a cat that wasn't even really very nice but I did anyway.

Thursday, June 5, 2014


Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? When I was younger, my "little" brother would whack me in the middle of my back on occasion and I would feel like I couldn't breath for... I don't know, it was probably just a few seconds, but at the time it felt like much longer. I'm sure I managed to be very dramatic about it.

Those were the days.

I used to be so brave. On a whim I joined the Army. I was up for anything. I went rappelling, I volunteered to jump out of airplanes, I traveled to Central America and lived in a tent. All of this I did alone (well, it was just me and the U.S. Army). Then I got married and moved to a state far far away from my brothers. Which was hard. Despite being better at hand to hand combat than I am, they're my best friends. I had five kids, I made new friends, I started book groups and play groups and learned how to repair my own washing machine. You get it. I was not afraid of much. But I think I've used up all of my courage. The idea of change at this point in my life is paralyzing.

It takes me forever to make a decision, and after I finally settle on something I second guess it to death. Deciding to go back to school was huge for me. It meant quite a bit of adjusting. I like a routine, I like to have things settled and just go along taking care of my business, you know? Sadly, the fates do not care about my anxiety levels and now I have to make some decisions and make some changes. Quite probably the things I have to figure out would not be a big deal to most people, or to me 10 years ago, but to me now...ugh. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me and I haven't been able to breathe for a few days.

I know I'm being vague, I don't feel like I can spill all of the details...I was kicked off a jury once after I did that here...no one is going to die, my kids are fine, my husband still loves me, and in the grand scheme of things those are the things that really matter, right? I wish I could say that I know it will all work out and whatever I decide things will be fine, but I've made dumb choices before and I feel like I'm getting too old to go the long way anymore.

Friday, May 30, 2014

It occurs to me that it may seem like I have a problem...

I watched a couple of movies last weekend.

Before you judge, remember it was a three day weekend...

On Friday we went to see The Railway Man. I liked it, I'm not sure how Sylvan felt, Nicole Kidman is not his favorite, nor mine for that matter, however....Colin Firth...Do you really need to know anything else? It's based on a true story. I'm always amazed at how cruel people can be under the umbrella of war and on the other hand, it's amazing what people are able to live with, and overcome.

Miss Representation is a documentary about the way women are portrayed in the media (hint...not positively), it wasn't really new information for me, but it's always good to have a reminder that I should be having more discussions with my kids about the difference between reality and what the media tries to present as reality.

X-men was good, we saw it on Monday. It was basically what I expected, except for seeing so much of Hugh Jackman, that was a surprise. 

The Revsionaries is another documentary, it's about the Texas Board of Education and their push to re-write science and history textbooks in ways that don't necessarily reflect ACTUAL science or history and it discusses why what Texas does affects the entire country, textbook wise.

And one more documentary, Jesus Camp. This film focuses on the way some evangelicals are indoctrinating their children. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Religion is a sensitive subject, but I think it's worth watching, if for no other reason to gain a better understanding about the way other people see the world.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

And then I made the best playlist EVER.

Saturday we were running errands. For the record, I prefer to run errands alone, but if word gets out that I'm going to Costco suddenly everyone in the house wants to go. Apparently no one can resist a lunch of tiny bites of food served my cranky ladies wearing hairnets. However, all of those little bites of sausage and bread aren't free, the cost of a sample lunch at Costco is listening to my playlist in the car. I personally think that's a bargain, but judging by the amount of whining every time the Beastie Boys come on, some people do not agree.

Can I just say, it's a sad thing when the youth of today (and a some husbands) do not appreciate the cleverness of Mike D and his homies? A SAD SAD DAY.

All of the moaning and groaning got me thinking about what other classics my children (and husband) need to be exposed to in order to be more well rounded musically. So I decided to get out my CD collection and crank it up a notch.

I'm so glad I did. I haven't imported any CDs to my itunes account in years, mostly because we moved (5 years ago) and all of my CDs were in a box and I've been too lazy busy to get them out, but get them out I did. I spent wayyy too much time reliving the past through song. My stroll down memory lane started with my INXS collection. Which is vast. (All told, it weighs in at 5 hours and 9 glorious minutes of 80's nostalgia)

Then I added some Clash, Pink Floyd, Jonhnny Cash, and Skinny Puppy.

It was like Christmas when I found my Empire Records soundtrack. Don't you LOVE the Empire Records soundtrack? What ever happened to The Cranberries anyway?

I'm telling you what, my kids are gonna LOVE our next road trip.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Speaking of the FIRST time I went to college.....

There are only 3 people that I know of in the world who will appreciate this video, one of them lives with me. This is for the other two.....

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Is it weird that I'm excited for summer school?

Pretty weird probably.

I feel like I've just been killing time the last couple of weeks, it's hard to go from being super busy to only medium busy, so yesterday, when I realized the instructor for my history class had posted the textbook information and the first few assignments online, I was almost giddy.

My kids are going to be happy too. I've been filling my free time with cleaning the house. I've heard, "Is the president coming to visit?" More times than I can count in the last 2 weeks. (That's their favorite line when they feel I'm cleaning too thoroughly. Heaven forbid we clean just simply so WE don't catch typhoid from the crap stuck to the inside of the microwave.)

Anyhow. I said all that to say this, I like school. I do. Even the parts that bring out my special extra crazy side.

Friday, May 23, 2014


Summer school starts next week so I'm on a short break from school. I need it. I really ramped the crazy up there at the end. I'm telling you what, nobody does nutso quite as well as I do. You know, I think if you're going to do something you should always try to be the best, even if that thing is being a completely irrational whack job. I found 3 or 4 drafts of posts I'd written in fits of anxiety during the last month of classes. I'm not going to make you read them, I'm insane, but at least I know it. That's half the battle, right? Or something like that.

I'm going to try to do some catching up on things over the summer. I'm miss writing. Not that I haven't written in the last 3 months, I just haven't written about important things....like ME, in the last 3 months. And heaven knows, if I don't write about my feelings no one else is going to. (And why is that??? Does NO ONE care about MY feelings???)

Speaking of feelings....
There's a whiskey shortage, were you aware of that? How, in this day and age, have we turned into a world that runs out of whiskey?? Next thing you know you'll be telling me we're running low on bacon.

You want to know what there is NOT a shortage of? Shoes. At least not in my closet. Apparently in an effort to... I don't even KNOW what, I have been stocking up on shoes. In the past few months I have bought more shoes than a person who works from home has any good excuse for owning. It's really not like me to be so shoppy. Truly.
Franco Sarto 'Quello' Sandal (Nordstrom Exclusive)Steve Madden 'Destiney' Flat
{I only bought one pair of these (forest green), but lemme tell you, it took great restraint.}

I should probably shift my interests to stockpiling liquor, at least if things get rough I can probably sell it off and recoup some of my losses. Or at least drink away my sorrows.

Are you guys watching Mad Men? OMG! The nipple? AND I can't help it. I know Don has made his own soggy bed but I want things to turn out okay for him. I even want things to turn out okay for Bettty. Though I realize that would require a Dr. Phil sized intervention and is very unlikely to happen. Oh, and poor poor Peggy. She just can't win. I suppose, Mad Men isn't really a show about people winning, is it? I mean who would want to watch that? 

See, this here is why I can't write when school is in session. I start out just going to say one little thing, like "hi!", next thing you know I've gone on and on about NOTHING. It's a little sad, A. that I have so much to say about nothing and B. that I keep it bottled  up most of the time. 

Alright, I'm going to shut up...for now....

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

First neon, now this?

Gap is calling these "marble wash", I'm calling them "had an 80's flashback and almost passed out in the Gap". 

Are the kids wearing acid wash again? Really? Because it wasn't that great the first time around. (Not that I didn't wear the living daylights out of some acid wash jeans, but still....)

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Todo los dias

I found this cryptically titled post in my draft file. No post, just a title. I have no idea what I intended to write about, obviously something cultural...or chihuahuas. Obviously.

It seems that it is sinus/allergy/my head is not going to explode it's just going to make me wish it would season, which is AWESOME!! I think we can all agree that the opportunity to have a smashing week long headache is something everyone can make time for, right? It's killing me. I've had a couple of people recommend the Neti pot but just typing "neti pot" makes me gag a little so I don't feel like I'm really a candidate for that type of treatment. I prefer to ingest gallons of over the counter medicines and wait it out. Like the cavemen did.

How about this...sometimes the robots at Netflix recommends things based on my viewing history. I think it's pretty safe to say those robots have never seen Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Not that Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is a bad movie, but the only similarity I can come up with between it and Fargo is mittens. And I don't know about you, but it's rare that I go on a mitten themed movie binge.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Miles to go before I sleep

Or millions of math problems to work.

I have a math test this morning so, naturally, last night, while I should have been sleeping, imaginary numbers and square roots of things were running through my brain and the whole time Taylor Swift was singing in the background. Gah!

Stinking Taylor Swift. Does she bug you? She bugs me. She's all sweet and smiley on the outside, but I think girlfriend is a little bitter on the  inside. And, how in the world does she con men into singing duets with her? Does she call them up and say, "hey, I wrote another song about love.....going south.....because of the guy....wanna sing it with me?" I think the twinkle in her eyes must have like some James Bond gadget hypnotic powers and that's why they say yes.

I mentioned I didn't sleep much last night, right?

Anyway, here's Taylor, giving ultimatums to what appears to be a perfectly nice young man.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Finally, the expert advice I promised.

Reposted from 3/9/12

My brother was kind enough to write up a few REAL ideas for bracket strategy. I think he's spot on, until he starts knocking the mascot method, but whatever.......Thanks Scott!!

Okay okay. Here it is. The long awaited Bracketology or my thinking on this. You can pick Kentucky to go all the way and win or you can pick Duke and lose early.

On to a more serious level. A few things to watch. Never in the history of the NCAA tournament have the (4) #1 teams made it to the Final Four, so if you are looking at your bracket thinking that may happen you may want to reconsider. Also something to really watch is the fact that just because Kentucky has had close to a flawless season doesn’t make them a shoe in for the Final Four or the Championship. Every team in the country knows this and will come out hoping that they will be able to say that they are the team that knocked Kentucky out of the tournament.

So as you look at seed rankings on Sunday evening and Monday look at some of the individual teams. Personally I still have a lot of faith that the Ohio State Buckeyes are going to do some damage in the tournament. Look at Notre Dame. That team had some big wins before they finally got some respect this year and got ranked. I tend to put a lot of faith in the SEC and little faith in the western Pac-12 and Mtn West Conference teams. ACC teams are going to be solid to watch this year as well. Duke you can pretty much put your money on them making the Sweet 16 along with UNC and possibility even Florida State this year.

The little schools will be someone’s bracket buster for sure, so don’t count them all out, but on the flip side of that most of them are so happy that they even got invited to the tourney they will try their best, but still fall short.

Last recommendation. Don’t use the stupid Mascot picking or the seed picking, but budget 15 minutes today and 45 minutes on Saturday while you’re waiting on your kids and read up on ESPN or Fox Sports about some of the teams. Look back at early in the season to see how some of these teams started and how they finished.

Good luck.


(Sunday morning I'll post the link to the ESPN group and the rules for our little contest.)

Note~Remember this is an OLD post, do not go thinking Duke is going anywhere near the Sweet 16 this year, also all that stuff about Kentucky? Sadly, words from another era.