Friday, April 26, 2013

This might be a good time for L.L. Cool J to head back to Cali

Ever had a thing pointed out to you, and before that moment you didn't even know it was a thing, then all of the sudden...THING!

Like one time, someone asked me how often I cleaned the door knobs in our house. And I was like "Uh, when I grab one and something gross gets on my hand." And they were like, "Right, but you clean them other times, right?" And I was like, "Of course!" But in my mind I was like, "This woman has lost her damn mind if she thinks I have a cleaning schedule at all, much less one that includes a time slot for door knob sanitation."

It's been years since this conversation but I still think about it sometimes, mostly I think about how it's a funny thing to ask someone, but every now and then I see a door knob and for a second I think I'm not domestic enough because I don't clean mine on a regular basis.

It happened again this week. There was a thing that I didn't know existed and now I know and BAM! I know it's out there I cannot stop thinking about it.

A friend came under the rock where I live and showed me this video.

At first I thought the whole thing was a joke, a pretty funny one actually. It had to be. I don't listen to much country music so I really have no idea what's coming out of Nashville these days, (This must be such a sad thing for my mother who tried her hardest to raise country fans by drowning us in Kenny Rogers and the Oak Ridge boys during our childhoods. Sorry mom. The Mandrell Sisters did have great hair, but in the end it just wasn't enough.) but surely no one is this dumb. I don't even know what to say. It makes me wonder, well, so many things, but mostly, don't Brad and L.L. have people? Handlers? Someone who could sit them down and say, "No, seriously dudes, this is a BAD idea?"

Anyway, I can't quit. I've watched this video about 10 times and it is not getting old. It kills me every time. I think I get what they were trying to do, but really......so not hitting the mark.

When I said I think cleaning your door knobs is dumb, what I meant to say was, "I like chocolate chip cookies.".

PS~Special thanks to Karen for alerting me to the existence of this video. You know how make the carpool interesting for sure!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Because clearly I have my priorities in order

I'm getting a little worried about this whole going back to school thing. I keep thinking about all of the things that are going to change, and how busy I'm going to be, and blah, blah, blah......

This is how I do it. I think of all the stuff that could go wrong, I make lists and stress majorly for a little while, then I buck up and do what I need to do. The pre-event nervous breakdown is necessary to guarantee a successful mission.

I wish there was another way, but there just isn't.

Right now I'm worrying about time and money and other super important things like, what if I don't have time to read a book for fun or what if I can't watch TV for the next 4 years? Am I going to have to give up going to the movies? How will I relax? What if I never relax again?

It's got me in kind of a state. (It's pretty much just a more intense version of my usual state.) I'm feeling like I have to cram in as much leisure as possible before my first classes start next month.

OH MY GOSH!! My classes start NEXT MONTH!

I think things might be getting a little out of control.

Before I got myself all worked up I'd cut back on my TV watching, maybe watching an hour or two a week, then I cracked open the door to watch Mad Men and, well, I might have a problem. Not only did I catch up on Mad Men, but I've watched 4 episodes of Call the Midwife this week AND I found a new series called The Bletchley Circle. (It's on PBS, set in the 1950's a group of code breakers from the war use their skills to track a serial killer. It's quite good.)

All day yesterday I thought about what I was going to watch last night. I can't stop. I might need an intervention.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Like a see-saw, or a merry-go-round, or one of them there whack-a-mole games.

Sometimes I have nothing to say. Nada, zero, zilch. Shocking I know. I can go weeks without feeling like I have anything clever or important to write about. During those times I feel.....I don't know....discontent, disconnected, discombobulated.

I think to myself.....this blogging thing is dumb. In fact, the whole writing thing is dumb. It's run it's course. Give your notice and move along, go sort some socks or something........

It never fails that when I've just about convinced myself to do that, to put us all out of our misery, my brain explodes, and I have soooo much to say that I cannot contain it. Next thing you know, I'm trying to drive and scratch out a note (More or less dangerous than texting at the wheel? Bout the same, says I.) or writing notes on my hand in the dark of the movie theater so I won't forget some super important detail. Never mind that it takes me forever to decipher what was probably not very coherent in the first place after it's all smudged with red vine residue an hour and a half and later.

Anyway, that's where I am today. Too much to say, not enough time to write it all down. When I get like this I can't do anything until it's all out. Last night I wrote in my journal until my hand cramped up and this morning I got up before the crack of dawn and wrote rough drafts for 4 posts. There's no guarantee any of it will ever be fit for public consumption, but at least they're out of my head.....mostly.

So, there's your warning. The next few days will likely be a cornucopia of nonsense. Enjoy.


Last week I overheard this conversation~

Man #1~ "So I stepped into the room and made my presidents known."

Man #2~ "........."


Naturally I turned away and tried to die laughing silently. "made my presidents known"????

Monday, April 22, 2013

It's a mad mad, super mad, world.

I had pretty much decided that my love affair with Don Draper and the rest of the Mad Men was over. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I didn't even watch the last 3 episodes of last season. I know.

I just kind of fell off the alcoholic 60's racist, sexist, advertising wagon, what can I say?

However, I do not live in a cave, so I knew that the highly anticipated season 6 was about to begin a few of weeks ago. I tried to strum up some interest, but, meh, I really wasn't feeling it.

BUT THEN.......

Last week one night my husband was working at night and I was struck with that thing where you can't sleep because you're alone in the bed, even though you gonna be sleeping a whole lot less when your husband gets home and starts tossing and turning and snoring and sighing ALL NIGHT LONG, you know, basically, insomnia. When I can't sleep I watch TV, but I couldn't find anything I wanted to watch (mostly because I made a pact that I wouldn't watch White Collar without Sylvan, lest I get too many episodes ahead. Heaven forbid.). I decided to browse Netflix and that's when I noticed that season 5 of Mad Men was available to stream, and I thought, eh, why not?

Sidenote- Sometimes I feel like Jane Jetson. If my 16 year old self had known that her future held Netflix, talking phones, Spanx, and Amazon Prime she would have been so much more excited about her 40's.

Three episodes later, WHOOSH!! I was sucked back in-- smitten with those crazy chain smoking fools again. I've watched 2 or 3 episodes every night since and Friday I bought the season pass on itunes, because, clearly, I have NO impulse control. Now I'm all caught up. It's 1968 now in Don's world, the year I was born. I can't wait to see what happens! Maybe they'll mention me.

Are you watching? Do you love that Peggy has a framed picture of JFK in her apartment? Did people really do that? And YAY! Go Trudy!! It's about time.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Your mom goes to college

Oh, my poor neglected blog. How long can a girl post nothing before her blog runs away from home? Not that it's a good excuse, but it's been busy around here. Which is a stupid thing to say since it's ALWAYS busy around here. Wesley has been home and I've been more interested in spending time with him than writing about spending time with him. Work never seems to get any less demanding. It's taking more effort than I'd like to admit to get our senior to the finish line. My family still expects me to bring home food and toilet paper. (Honestly, after all these years, you'd think they'd be a little more realistic in their expectations.) AND, if all that weren't enough, I've decided that now is a good time to go back to school. Why not? Right? Part time this summer, full time in the fall......it's as if I've lost my ever loving mind. Again.

I'm one of those people who gets an idea, or hears a new band, or finds a new restaurant.......you name it, and I get totally worked up, I tell everyone about my new favorite thing. Then it wears off and I move on to the next thing and never mention the old thing again. I'm a roller coaster of emotions.

I like to think of it as high spirited.

A few months ago when I started to seriously consider going back to school, I didn't want to tell anyone. I talked to my husband about it, a lot, and we eventually decided to go for it. Then I told my sister-in-law and brother in Virginia, but I was afraid to tell anyone else because what if it was like all the other stuff? What if, just like my overwhelming love of White Tea and Cactus Scentsy Wax, my desire to get an education wore off? What would everyone think?

Then one afternoon I came across the list of goals I've basically been re-committing to every year for the past 5+, and I realized that going to school and getting a degree would bring me pretty dang close to accomplishing everything on the list.....except getting Madonna arms, so who cares if people think I'm too old or too flakey or that I'm nuts for going to school to do something that won't make me rich (social work). I'm excited about it (I'm also terrified, and completely overwhelmed), but just like having so many other things in life, there's never going to be a perfect time to do this, I'm not getting any younger and I'm always going to regret it if I don't so.......here goes nothing.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Behind, as usual.

But better late than never. Our daughter Ivy is the winner of this year's bracket group. Amazing. For the second year in a row the winner is a person who knows next to nothing about basketball. I think I'm going to get the two of them to pick some lottery numbers then the three of us can hit Vegas.

I'm just glad to see the season end so we can get on to a new, better, brighter season. Go Cats!!

In other news, I've been getting slammed with spam comments lately, some of them really make me laugh.

Others make me cry, like this one, pointing out what a poor speller I am.

I like this one, mostly because I've always wanted to meet someone with "grease monket" skills.

This one, well, obviously.

I think it takes a lot of courage to come right out and admit that you're opening a scheme. I also like that they noticed that I've done a "formidable process", I hope my whole community really is grateful.

Enormous educational paragraph indeed! EVERY DAY YO!

 Then there's this guy, who appreciates the peculiarness of my writing. It's exactly what he needed. My work here is done. 

Friday, April 5, 2013

I can barely string a few words together, coming up with a title ain't happening today.....

 Can you believe I haven't posted all week? It's certainly not because I'm lacking things to say. Things have been a little crazy up in here, but don't worry, I'm going to make up for it right now.

1. Let's start with the important things. A few days ago my husband and I were in the car and You Make Me Feel Like Dancing came on the radio, even though Sylvan already knows the names of ALL the songs and who sings them he still likes to Shazam everything. It's validating or something. Anyway, when I saw this I just about died, because seriously, he DOES look like a man who feels like dancing, does he not?

2. This kid will be home later tonight. We get to spend 10 days with him before he goes on to San Diego. He's pretending to be annoyed with me and my excitedness already but I know he secretly loves it. Who wouldn't?
 3. When my brother calls me this image comes up on my phone and it always makes me smile. Nephews are awesome! (So are nieces, don't worry, everyone gets a turn, they're all assigned to someone's number.)
 4. This other kid is 18 years old today and that does not seem possible. He's old, which means I'm old, what the heck? Stop it already!!
5. In light of #4, I took him to the store to get some snacks for his friends to eat while they're hanging out this afternoon (No school on your birthday = SUPER LUCKY), naturally he made healthy choices. 

6. Last week I got to have lunch with my blog friend Ginger and it was so fun and relaxed and not even the littlest bit weird. For me anyway. That almost NEVER happens. 

 7. Thanks to Michelle's suggestion, we've started watching White Collar and we're hooked.

8. Mark my words, the death of Google Reader is going to be the death of me. I switched to Feedly, and twice this week I have accidentally marked everything as read and lost a whole bunch of stuff that I really wanted to read. If there's a way to get them back I can't figure it out. WHY GOOGLE?? WHY do you want to ruin my life????

9. Last but not least, here's where we stand going into the final four. Have you ever seen such a pathetic list? 

Have a great weekend and may the force be with you.