Sunday, January 13, 2013

For posterity's sake.

If I don't write things down I forget them, and as you'll see, these are things I'm sure to be glad I remembered someday. Plus, if I hold it in my head might explode, and I'm pretty sure no one wants that to happen.

1. Did you guys watch the Miss America pageant? Please tell me you didn't miss it. There was baton twirling....to Donna Summer no less, some kind of interpretive dance to Journey's Faithfully, and tap dancing, not just tap dancing but TAP DANCING TO JAMES BROWN!! The music choices of this generation's beauty queens is a real treat. (There were also several examples of the obscure talent of holding your head up while wearing giant dangly earrings. Between the earrings and the hairspray it's a wonder any of those poor malnourished things stayed upright.) After the talent portion came the stupid question stupider answers event, then finally the crowning and presentation of the most hideous bouquet of roses I've ever seen. Television at its best.

2. Friday I wanted to make a smoothie so I went into the fridge looking for yogurt, but, for an assortment of reasons(number one being I just don't like to), I haven't been grocery shopping lately and wouldn't you know we were out of the delicious sour chalky tasting Greek yogurt I usually eat. All we had was some vanilla yogurt with a sell by date of 10-25-12. If you do the math, that's like two months ago (even if you chose not to do the math, it's still like 2 months ago), so I threw it away and ate cereal for breakfast........Or I would have.....except that it had never been opened and I really wanted a smoothie. So I broke the seal and checked for physical evidence of expiration, finding none I used it. Now I'm just waiting for death to set in, all because I just had to have a smoothie.

3. Have you guys heard about this? Thieves are stealing Tide Laundry detergent and trading it for drugs or money. My husband tells me that I told him this story a year ago and was just as stunned then as I am today. Whatever. Here's what happens, apparently Tide is like the Calvin Klein of laundry soap, it's such a hot item that people are willing to buy it for cheap out of the back of a van. They aren't even doing anything shady with it. Just washing their clothes. With stolen detergent. What next?

4. My husband and kids are in the next room playing mancala and listening to Beyonce. You just never know what's gonna go on around here on Sunday afternoon.

My two favorite Miss America moments.....

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