Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Well sure....

.....obviously something like this was bound to happen.

It is an election year after all.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

What the....?

I almost wet myself. What on earth is going on over there at the Today show?

Monday, August 20, 2012

We are never ever, ever, getting back together.

Until Wednesday.

You guys, I have a problem. A donut problem. I KNOW!!

But it's not the kind of problem you're thinking it is. (well, it's probably that kind of problem too, but I'm not really ready to break up with my donut store.....yet. Unless it starts listening to indie records that are cooler than mine... then we're DONE!)

(Oh you guys....did your daughters make you listen to that song 50 or 60 times over the weekend or am I just really lucky?)

It's going to be one of those weeks. Buckle up.

Here's the thing. I have a donut place. They have the BEST donuts evah. They also have a drive up window. Bonus points!! I try not to go there very often, because, hold on, here's some math for ya.

Donuts + The Gym = We cancel each other out sucker

I've been keeping my donut runs to one a week for a while now, which, considering the deliciousness of these donuts is no easy feat. Last week I went on Monday morning and the cute little girl who answers the window gave me one of those little smirk-nod things, seemed odd, but not odd enough to keep me from my usual order of 2 blueberry cake donuts (I save one for after lunch). Like the paranoid fruitcake I am I kept thinking about it all day. It niggled at me. Does she remember me and does she think I eat too many donuts, or is she just not a fan of the blueberry cake? Do I really care what the donut store girl thinks of me? (I can't believe you even asked that, you know I do.)

On Friday after I dropped kids off at school my son and I decided to grab some donuts, it was Friday after all. We decided not to drive through, we wanted to go in and take a look at the merch just in case we wanted to break from the usual (we didn't). While we were standing there deciding a car pulled up to the window and donut girl's co-worker went over to take care of it. That's when I saw donut girl look over at the window and make the same smirk-nod and say, "He just wants coffee."

YOU GUYS!! For once in my life my paranoia has been validated. She DOES remember me, she remembers EVERYONE, and she is smirking at me!!

You know what? I don't care. She can smirk all she wants, I'm still getting donuts once a week. So there.

Friday, August 17, 2012

We're doing well, thanks for asking.

I uploaded pictures from my phone this morning and realized that I am way behind in the recording of my life, the details of which I know you all live to know, so I'm going to do a quick catch up because if I try to do separate posts it's never gonna happen. 

At lightening speed here we go......

The night before school started we had one last wild and crazy night out.  We went to see the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. Someone's mom was laughing and snorting so hard that her kids had to shush her....more than once. 
How embarrassing for those poor kids.
This is my son trying to ignore me and my daughter giving me the "put your stupid camera away" face.
I don't even know why they bother.
This is them after I threatened to laugh and snort during the movie if they didn't smile.
 I stocked up on cereal before school started, apparently we're in a Frosted Flakes phase.
 First day of school. One senior and two jr. high attendees. 
How did that happen? 
 I don't know why this is sideways, but it's my nephew's response when asked if he wanted to come and stay with me, or at least that's what my brother told me was going on here, for all I know they asked him if it was ok to have ice cream for dinner.

Finally, on this loverly Friday morning, I leave you with this, one of my favorite Tracy Jordan quotes.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I graduated, but not necessarily with honors.

Due to a "minor" traffic infraction, I had to take an online defensive driving course this week. It was, like, way super fun. And also, informative. There were a couple of parts where there was a bunch of math and all I could think about was how in the world am I supposed to work a problem like, speed times distance divided by tire size equals whatever, while I'm driving? You know what's a hazard on the road? Me. Doing math. Behind the wheel. Seriously, I tried doing that thing where you're supposed to pick a landmark and wait for the car in front of you to pass it then count how many seconds it takes you to get there so you can obey the 3 second rule and I couldn't seem to manage to get to 2 one thousand without getting distracted, nevermind adding in extra seconds if I'm fatigued or the weather is bad or my dog is loose in the backseat.

I should probably do everyone a favor and buy a bus pass.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Olympics~Part II

I'm a wreck, or I was yesterday, it's early so I'm hoping (against the odds) that today will be better. Yesterday was the first day of school, which always gets me a little weepy, throw in the Olympics, and a son who's considering joining the Navy you get a full on melt down when Misty May and Kerri win the gold in beach volley ball.

That's right you heard me, I sobbed when that match was over. I had mostly held it together all day, but it would appear that we have discovered my breaking point, and it is beach volleyball. My daughter looked over and asked if I was crying. I'm not sure, my eyes were filled with tears so I couldn't see clearly, but when I could only nod and wipe my eyes (because I didn't want to do that ugly thing where you're not in control of your emotions so when you try to talk it comes out sounding like Helen Keller), I'm pretty sure I saw her mouth "WOW" and roll her eyes.

I really think NBC and their delayed coverage should to take some responsibility for my mental state. I mean, I have not gotten to bed before 11 p.m. in almost 2 weeks. Sleep deprivation is a powerful thing. I'm not gonna lie, those "Thanks Mom" commercials aren't helping either. By the time the closing ceremonies roll around I won't have any dignity left at all.

Not that I started with much.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

It's true what they say.....

...it is better to receive.

I wrote a LONG overly dramatic post about the first day of school and wah wah my babies are growing up and blah blah blah. I was starting to annoy myself with it, so maybe another day, eh?

Instead lemme show you these things. Sometimes people give me stuff. 
It's awesome being me. 
Sometimes they give me things I didn't even know I wanted (mostly because I didn't know they existed),
like University of Kentucky Pez dispensers.
Pretty sweet.
Or little plates that look like prescription pads.
The only thing that would have made this better is if it had been written out for Xanax.
Sometimes people give me things I DID want, but they didn't know I wanted, they're just really good present selectors.
Like this plate from HERE.

It's good to be me.

Friday, August 3, 2012

The bad back in badminton indeed.

This made me laugh~

via WSJ

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

No wonder I never get dressed.....

....it's a lot of work.

Sometimes (always) I like to think that I can change my nature. You know, self improvement and all that jazz. I hear clever little ideas and think, "I could do that!" So I try them out and, you know, usually it ends up that my nature is not so easily changed. Go figure. For example, my sister in law (whose nature doesn't even need to be changed) told me about this app for the iPhone where you log all of the food you eat and it keeps track of your calories and you lose weight and eat less junk, better person, blah blah blah. So OF COURSE I had to try it.

{Side story, the conversation went something like this~
Me: So, do you have any cool apps on your phone that I should know about?

Her: Yes, there is a great one for calendaring, a fantastic budgeting one, and other one that keeps track of my calories. I will soon rule the world.BAHAHA!!*

Me: Sweet. I found one that lets you take funny pictures of your kids and you can send prank postcards RIGHT FROM YOUR PHONE!

Her: Heh. (Thurston Howell III laugh)
The End}

Yeah, so I start using the menu diary thing and it keeps track of my calories, and I eat less (like practically NOTHING) and after about a month I haven't lost any weight so I stop entering every time I eat, and for a few days I forget about it altogether. Then I get a little pop up reminder that says "It has been 3 days since you logged into Food Guilt" so I MAKE UP 3 days worth of what I ate so my phone won't get mad at me, that's right.... I LIED TO MY PHONE! (if you think that's crazy you should go light a candle of gratitude right now that you are not in my head all the time.) Then I deleted the app. It was too much pressure. Sorry Siri.

Which brings us to today's story, which I know you are now DYING to hear.

I read somewhere, not too long ago, how the simple act of getting dressed for the day can change your whole attitude. I don't think I have a horrible attitude, but I have found myself looking a little unkempt at unfortunate times recently, so I thought I'd give it a try. I work from home so getting dressed pretty much means showering and not wearing what I slept in until it's time to go to bed again or changing out of my workout clothes when I get home from the gym. You wouldn't think it would be that hard, but....

......it was EXHAUSTING!!

 I decided in the beginning that I would take a picture every time I got "dressed". I've noticed that people with my "nature" need something to force us to be accountable. Taking a picture of myself every day might have been the worst part. Ugh. I do NOT want to see what I look like all the time. Mirrors.....who needs 'em?!

Turns out I'm not good at anything. I'm wearing my workout clothes right now. That I slept in. I give up.
Who cares? 

PS~I can hear some of you saying something like "Why does she have so many Kentucky shirts?" To you I say "Compared to whut?"

*She did not really say she will soon rule the world. She didn't have to.