Thursday, May 24, 2012

I don't even know why I bother

So, I've told you about working out at the Y and how I'm the youngest person there and how it's really good for my self esteem. Well, I've been trying to get my husband to exercise and it's exhausting. He's very resistant to change and physical activity. Saturday I tried to trick him into fitness by asking him to come and show me how to use the weight machines.

 Side story, my legs are in a bad way and desperately need toning.

We get down there and he decides that the best thing would be for us to make an appointment with a trainer. Ugh. I knew he was stalling but I let him make the appointment.

Yesterday we go back and tell the "receptionist" who we are and she shouts to this REALLY OLD GUY "Hey Jim, do you have a 10:30 appointment?" Oh you guys, I just knew it was a joke. It had to be. HE WAS SOO OLD.

It was not a joke.

At least not the kind I would have laughed at.

Jim, as it turns out is very knowledgable about fitness. No doubt due to his many many years of experience. He asked us our goals and then he put us on the treadmill so we could do some target heartrate blah blah...I wasn't really paying attention because, duh, I exercise, I WAS JUST TRYING TO TRICK MY HUSBAND INTO EXERCISING TOO.

First he checked our resting heart rates. "Oh, that's not good" he said when he saw mine. "It's really kind of high, possibly a cause for some concern."  Then he looked at my sedentary husband, "Yours is fine." Seriously? Now my husband was totally bonding with Jim and also making little smirky faces at me. You know what? Some people can't ever be grateful when their wives are trying to trick them into better health. It's rude.

Jim told us to go on and warm up and he'd check back in 5 minutes. I'm sure you won't be shocked when I tell you that in five minutes my heart rate was even higher, no doubt due to my irritation over the backfiring of my evil plan to make my husband healthy. Guess whose was barely higher? That's right, Mr. I Don't Even Pretend To Eat Healthy. Jim told him that he seemed to be in pretty good shape, he just needs to lose a few pounds.

But for me, the person who has been going to the gym on a regular basis for MONTHS, Jim suggested, strongly, that I see a doctor....."Just to be safe, it's probably nothing, but we don't like to take chances." Clearly Jim is in the wrong business, since he has NO idea how to recognize a person's true physical condition.

Turns out meeting with a trainer was the worst idea ever. And also I might die.

Just kidding. I'm not going to die.


I am probably going to have to give up Diet Mt Dew.  Which is kind of like dying.


Karen said...

This is hilarious. I knew I was on the right track when I tricked you into meeting for lunch that day instead of working out. I may have saved your life ... since you are clearly on the wrong track.

tarable said...

Yes. Yes that is kind of like dying. Trying to give up the Dew myself. Or switch to diet. Because it turns out it takes like 2 hours a day at the gym to burn those 510 calories I've been drinking in regular Dew. But at least my heart rate is low.

Ginger said...

Oh man, that stinks! I think I would've popped him right in the nose! (Ok, not really, but I would have thought about it.) ha ha

I hope all goes well at the Dr. so you can go back and tell him he doesn't know anything and needs to think about a new line of work because he obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. :)