Thursday, February 23, 2012

If my thoughts get any deeper I might drown

You know those people, you're not a fan of them, they're not a fan of you, but you still pretend to be happy to see each other when you run into them twice a year at Target?


Why don't we both do the decent thing and ignore each other instead of engaging in 5 minutes (or more) of awkward conversation?

Or does that only happen to me?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's like they can't do anything without me. Sheesh.

On game days I usually wear a Kentucky shirt. You know, for luck. But yesterday between the excitement of Fat Tuesday and being knocked out by a cold, I forgot they were playing.

(I don't even know how I'll show my face the next time Ashley Judd comes over for dinner. She gets a little worked up sometimes. Bless her heart.)


Then my brother called just before the half to ask me if I was watching, which I was NOT. I was busy rubbing Vick's Vaporub on my chest and trying not to die. Do you think he cared that I was at death's door? Heck NO!  He went ahead and told me that Kentucky was down by 13.

I immediately changed shirts, lit a candle, and promised to give up bourbon for Lent.

Final score-Kentucky 73 Mississippi 64

I'm just going to start wearing a Kentucky shirt everyday. Better safe than sorry.

Friday, February 17, 2012

There was this one time....

Not long after our oldest son was born, he was probably 6 months old or so, my husband and I had taken him for his well-check (Because when you only have one child you can BOTH go to the well-check, and you both WANT to, because finding out the circumfrence of your child's head is such a special thing, if you can swing it both parents really should be there.), we were in the waiting area with another mother and her kid, he was probably around 2 years old and he was playing with one of those super sanitary waiting room toys, at one point he went over to his mother and told her that the toy had said something to him. She looked at him, and in her best don't be silly voice said, "That is an inanimate object, it cannot talk." Then went back to reading her book.

I've always wondered how things turned out with that kid.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Nope, not hooked on endorphins yet.

You wanna know why I'm still running? It's not because I'm in love with it (I'm starting to think that "real runners" saying they're addicted is akin to sending novice campers on a snipe hunt. NOT LAUGHING GUYS!). I'm still running because while I may never be a subscriber to the Joyful Joggers Club, I'm a long time gold card holding member (in good standing) of the Seven Deadly Sin Association. (Our meetings are way fun.)

The two that drive me to the gym ~ Pride & Gluttony

Gluttony~What I learned from keeping a food diary for two weeks was that I have no will power and that I am awesome at eating a lot of the wrong things. Portion size means nothing to me. I don't really know what to say except "Compared to WHUT?!" 

But it will all be okay, because if I can arrange to make it to the gym, (no small task by the way, being over scheduled is the 8th deadly sin) my other deadly sin kicks in......

Pride~Last week I ran a full mile more than I had planned to because someone got on the treadmill next to me and I refused to stop running until after they did. I'm sure that person (who was probably 75, because I go to the Y and compared to most of the other patrons I'm a spring chicken) was in awe of my stamina. That or they didn't even notice because they were just passing time until The Price is Right was over and could care less about me or my vanity. Old people are so selfish.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Other people are so clever.

 I've started framing some of my favorite quotes and hanging them around the house. A few months ago I found this Etsy shop that sells super cute letter press prints. The "Dire Warning" collection is full of good advice. Things like "Don't  bark if you can't bite." and "Beer before whiskey, mighty risky." Truer words were never printed on card stock.

I bought this one and hung it next to my desk. It's a good reminder. Sometimes I open my mouth and things just fall out. It's awful. If I had physical scars from all the times my tongue has cut my throat I'd be a mess. (A bigger mess....or a different kind of mess...or something.)

 I ordered this one this morning. 

Here are a couple more from my collection that are making me laugh lately~

“Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.” -Joseph Heller (Catch 22)

 “I haven’t the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.” — David Sedaris 

I'm thinking of having that one printed on a poster. Or a t-shirt. 
Or my forehead.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The way we were

I think we can all agree that this is a pretty sweet family portrait. Yes?

That's me in the yellow.  My dress is QUILTED! Couldn't you just die from the cute? 
When I was in Virginia last fall my mom was purging and I was lucky enough to snag this. It's huge-ish. Like 11 x 17, or something crazy, and it looks like it's been chalked or fancied up in a way that I'm positive was all the rage in the 70's. You can't really tell at this size but there has been some serious enhancement to the blue eyed family members. It's a little intense. My mom's hair, however, has not been enhanced in any way, it was really that big. Lovely bangs. 

I love my brother's hands, like if the photographer gets any closer he's going turn on the tickle monster. And how about my dad, rockin' those sideburns and the famous Thomas chin dimple? Nice, eh?

My parents have been divorced for a long time, is it weird if I hang this in my house?

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

If it's not one thing.......

...it's your kids giving you 10 more things to worry about.
Our 19 year old bought a motor cycle. 
He's going to wear a helmet and take a safety course. 
That's a relief.

Life was so much simpler when he was taking things apart and blowing them up in the backyard.

Friday, February 3, 2012

If my life were a song it would be C is for Cookie

I try to update our family blog at least once a month with pictures of the kids and whatnot. 
A couple of days ago I sat down to write January's post and I found that last month I took 3 pictures of my children and 20 pictures of food.
I'm a sad sad woman.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I'm feeling a little hostile about the weather.

So, six more weeks of winter, eh? It's going to take a lot more than some cute little fraidy pants rodent to scare me.

Like actual winter.

Living in Arizona I know that I'm never going to have one of those Chicago style winters some of you have to put up with, and that's fine (my nose gets all red when it's cold, its way unattractive), but I do look forward to a few weeks when I can wear a sweater without risking heat exhaustion. I don't feel like that's too much to ask. This winter has been such a disappointment (I'm sorry if that makes you feel bad Winter, but I had to say it, you're letting me down.) I can't remember the last time I used my snow shovel.  I don't think there has been a really cold day this year. In fact, I looked it up, our coldest day, here in Mesa, was way back in early December when was a chilly 51 degrees. That's it. 51 degrees. We're kidding ourselves if we call 51 degrees a cold day. (Even though I probably DID wear gloves that day. You have to play the cards you're dealt people.)

Yesterday I got an e-mail from my dear friend Johnnie Boden, of the "we will sell you the cutest skirt you've ever laid eyes on" Bodens, he just wanted to let me know that Pea Coats were on sale. It felt a little like he was taunting me.

Six more weeks of this, ha! Make it 12 why don't you? Really, make it 12. In 6 weeks we're going to be rapidly approaching HOT. I'd like to see that groundhog show his furry little face around August 2nd to predict an end to my least favorite season. We'll think up something just as scary as seeing his shadow to estimate how much longer summer will last. Something like how many seconds he can stand barefoot in a parking lot.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I love this!

This video made me so happy. LOOK! Famous people are dorks too. Makes me feel tons better about my own extreme dorkiness.

The best is when she's crying and she says~ "I'm so excited."