Monday, December 31, 2012

And so it has been confirmed (again) that I do not have a heart.

Friday night we went to see Les Miserables. I was super duper excited. Everyone I know who has seen it has loved it, several have reported crying from beginning to end. I even packed extra tissue. If anyone is going to cry at a movie (or during the Olympics, or at the grocery store, or....)it's going to be me. Good grief, I cried at Skyfall.

It turned out I was not moved to tears. Not even once. Not when the priest was so kind to Jean Valjean, not when he threw his papers to the wind, not when little Gavroche was killed, Anne Hathway almost had me towards the end of I Dreamed a Dream, but that's as close as I came. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been looking forward to seeing this movie for months. I didn't hate it, I was even pretty impressed with Russel Crowe, I had no idea he could sing at all, and Hugh Jackman, well, I went to see that boxing robot movie on his behalf, so I guess you could call me a fan. This just felt, to me, like there wasn't much depth to it. Of course that could just be me trying to justify my way out of being a heartless depthless person myself.

Have you seen it? Did you love it? Do you have a heart and emotional depth, did you cry or did you sit there for 3 hours thinking that in a couple of weeks you would be seeing Zero Dark Thirty and all would be right in the cinema again?

Friday, December 28, 2012

I also really like crossing things off

I'm a list maker. The first thing I do every morning is sit down at my desk and make a list of things I need (want) to accomplish that day. List lover that I am, I was super excited when I came across The New Yorker's 100 Best Lists of All Time.

I especially found these interesting~

How to Keep Young

The Rock, Paper, Scissors Responsibility Code

Nixon's Enemies List (it was long)

Warren Buffet's "Investment Criteria Checklist"

The Scrabble 2 Letter Word List (could come in handy)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

And now a word from our sponsors.

I'm kidding!! I don't have any sponsors.

I just wanted to tell you about the awesomeness of Vat19.

You know Vat19 right? Purveyors of giant gummy bears and wooden neckties? Well, you might not know that they also happen to be the kings of customer service.

Remember the other day when I told you how the post office lost one of my packages? Yeah, well, they ended up being ZERO help. Thanks lady at the post office who promised to call me back but never did!! You are awesome! So much for the idea of having a reasonable expectation of actually having things delivered after you PAY for that very service. How silly of me!

I'm still a tch annoyed. Does it show?

In desperation, I emailed Vat19 and told them what had happened, mostly thinking maybe they would have more pull with the USPS than I did, you know, light a fire under them or something, BUT, instead of putting a hit out on my mailman (which, who knows, maybe they did, we didn't actually discuss recovery tactics), they offered to replace my entire order. At NO charge. And shipped it the same day. Whoa! Customer service that serves the customer, how novel.

So, the next time you're in the market for beer soap or a chameleon lamp you know where to go.

Thanks Vat19, for giving me some of my Christmas Spirit back!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

At least I don't have that stupid Chipmunk song stuck in my head.....oh wait......

I did it! The Christmas letter has been written, printed, and signed. I made sure to ruin everyone's holiday cheer by having all of my kids autograph each letter this morning before school.

I think it's important for us to bond over the torture of keeping in touch with our loved ones.

And now, because it's Christmas, and we should all be in misery, I give you, The Chipmunk's Christmas Song.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Grinchy, Grinchy, Grinchmas. Bah.

I'm stalling. I gave myself a deadline to finish the damn Christmas letter before I go to bed tonight but I am so not feeling the annual stroll down memory lane this year.

In fact, I'm not really feeling Christmas at all. I mean, sure, I've had a few fleeting moments, like yesterday, when I almost ordered my nephew a Farrah onesie, that was kind of jolly, but mostly it's just blech.

*It's a hoot, right?*

This afternoon I wrote a really mean email to the United States Post Office and now I'm worried my mailman is going to be mad at me and his delivery service will get even worse, which is kind of hard to imagine. That's how the whole thing started. For the last couple of months we've had magazines that didn't show up and packages that didn't make it, even though the delivery conformation confirmed that there had indeed been a  delivery. The first couple of times this happened different neighbors brought us our misdelivered mail but today, TODAY, I checked the tracking number on a package and the delivery conformation showed that the package had been delivered a week ago. SEVEN DAYS AGO!!! That package contains gifts. Gifts for my husband and my son. Gifts that I can't even re-order and pay a gazillion dollars to get here by Christmas because they are OUT OF STOCK. I just lost it. I called my post office and they don't have it and they're gonna have "check on a couple of things" and call me back. I wasn't very satisfied after my call so I went on the USPS website and wrote a harsh complaint, I used almost all of the allowed 4000 characters, about 100 of them were exclamation marks. I know that in the grand scheme of things one little lost parcel is not the end of the world, but it sucked the last tiny bit of Christmas spirit out of me and I want to kick my mailman. And now I have nothing left for letter writing. Maybe I should just stick a note in the card and direct my loved ones near and far to this post. Of course that would require my Granny to understand how to use the internet and there'd be the whole explanation of what a blog is and, well, this is getting ridiculous. I gotta go write the stupid letter.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Stinking Kids

We do this thing at dinner every night. Best and Worst. We go around the table and everyone tells the best thing and the worst thing about our day. Last night when it was my turn my best was that I had finished my Christmas shopping. I was pretty happy about it, until.....dun, dun, dun.....my son said, "You should really delete your browsing history when you get done shopping online."

What?! Really?

Welcome to the future. Checking your mom's browsing history is the new peeking in your parents closet.

He swears he didn't look, but seriously, OF COURSE he looked.

I would have.

Thursday, December 13, 2012


I just placed my final Amazon order and with that my Christmas shopping is DONE!

It's later than my goal, but sooner than I usually finish so....YAY!

I still have a couple of projects to finish and packages to mail but I'm not going to think about those things right now. I'll think about those tomorrow....or the next day.....or something like that.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Twelve, 12, XII

So, it's 12-12-12, got any big plans? Getting remarried? Going skydiving? I'm going with doughnuts. Who knows maybe I'll have a dozen for lunch and dinner too. (Do you say dinner or supper? Just wondering.)

Look~ We took our horse mask to the Temple Lights
I'm telling you what, if you haven't ordered yours yet I do not know what you are waiting for. This thing is so stinking funny. Every family should have at least one.
Did you guys watch Parenthood last night? Did you sob all the way through it like I did? Geez, my eyes are puffy this morning from all the crying.

Um, ok, that was fun, now can we just briefly talk about Christmas cards and how much I hate them? Not the receiving (what kind of a jerk do you think I am?) just the sending. Not so much the sending, but the taking of the pictures and the writing of the letter. I know, I complain about it every year. 1, 2, 3,  (This is either a charming tradition, or stupid boring non-stop whining. Let's go with A. shall we?)  It seems like common sense (especially now, after that little stroll down memory lane re-reading all those complainy posts from years past.) that if I hate something so much I ought to stop doing it, and if that's not an option I should stop going on and on about it. Right? Pretty sure no one has ever accused me of having common sense though.

Wow, this has been enlightening and therapeutic.  And also a big waste of time since I know that I'm going to end up writing a stupid letter anyway so I may as well quit stalling and get at it. Thanks for your help.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Giddy up

Good holy cow! I started this post on Monday. It's now Wednesday, almost Thursday. There were a lot more words when I started but I'm gonna spare you the blah blah blah and just get down to the meat of it.

I have pictures, wanna see them? 

I thought so. 

Last Friday we went to Kings Fish House they have super groovy napkins, like this~
Saturday morning was the Kentucky game. 
It was a sad, sad day in Wildcat history.
Some of us wept. 
(Most of us just mocked me while I was weeping.)
 After begging for months, Ivy was finally got her tips dyed pink. 
LOOK! Pink hair! 
 On Sunday we had to make a fake baby from a package of sugar for Ivy's Home Ec. class (except they don't call it Home Ec. They call it something like "Family and Consumer Science", whatever that is). 
She's supposed to carry it around for 3 days and learn a lesson of some kind.
On Monday Wesley's horse head mask came in the mail.
Oh My Gosh!
You have to get one of these things. It is hilarious. 
This is Wesley picking his sister up from school. (He didn't wear it while he was driving, only while he was waiting for her to come out.) 
He just sat there, in the car, in front of the jr. high, wearing a horse head mask. 
Then we put it on the dog.
Then we made greeting cards.

We were cracking ourselves up.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

This is pretty much our house.....

......every damn day. 

Except I don't get paid for it.

Friday, November 30, 2012

And there was glitter a plenty all through the land

Ye, the magical laminator did arrive. 
And even those who were not crafty did make stuff.
Behold the holiday joy that was created.....

My crafthusiam only lasted about 30 minutes, but the laminator is pretty sweet. I might have gotten carried away and preserved some Target receipts last night in the frenzy. It couldn't be helped, they were just hanging around begging to be covered in plastic.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Don't be so judgy

I bought a laminator this morning. So what? I know it's not the kind of thing I would normally buy. I'm not crafty and I hate storing crap but I've got a project that needs laminating and I got a smoking deal on Amazon (plus, for a few more $$ they are bringing it to me TODAY. Amazon Prime ROCKS!), so I threw caution to the wind and ordered it.

I figure it probably would have cost the same amount of money to have my junk laminated and now I don't have to make two trips to the copy store (one to drop off, one to pick up). It's actually a practical purchase. Stop looking at me like I'm frivolous.

I wonder if Amazon sells dry cleaning machines?

Let me know if you need anything covered in a thin coat of plastic. I can hook you up.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Hammer time.

I have lots of goals, wishes, aspirations. First and foremost, at the top of the ol' list is....Make Your Own Dang Life More Difficult. Its actually a sublist on my list of hopes and dreams. It's less of a list, more of an outline.

I love making outlines, don't you?

Remember how I said I would like to be done Christmas shopping by Dec. 1st? Well, you and I might have thought that was just a little thing I was saying in passing, nice idea, no pressure, because any fool can look at me and my day ta day life and see that there's no way that's gonna happen, but my BRAIN has decided that it is a swell idea. So swell in fact that I hardly slept last night because I kept waking up thinking of all the things I needed to go get/order/make before the end of the week. I even tried telling my crazy self that it was silly to try to be done by the end of the month if it was going to be so stressful.....right about then my Betty Draper personality told my Peppermint Patty personality to shut it and get with the program.

I really have to be more careful about mentioning vague goals to myself.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

You may be asking yourself.......

....where does she find these fantastic items and how can I get on her present list? Well, the answers to these questions, and many more are--- the internet and marry someone I love.

My granny is gonna LOVE these!

Perfect, but I cannot yet justify going without food and/or shelter to pay the $400.00 it cost. 
Curse you limited gift buying budget!!

I don't know. Too silly? 
Ha! As if.

I'm trying to resist, but this just may find it's way into my stocking. 
DUDES!! Owl and mouse, dog and cat, wolf and sheep?! 
Who comes up with this awesomeness and how will I ever decide?

Monday, November 19, 2012

Seriously y'all..

I just looked at a bunch of pictures of my niece and nephews who live far far away in Virginia and I'm all sobby (what's new?) and if someone could get me one of those "Beam me up" thingies like they had on Star Trek for Christmas so I can go visit them once a week that would be really awesome. 

If you don't have any teleportation connections, maybe you can help me out with this.....

I bought this dress the other day. I was excited because it's super comfortable and it was on sale(double bonus points) but now that the initial thrill has worn off I have no idea how to wear the stupid thing. My first thought was that I would wear tights and flats, but now I don't know. If I wear tights, would I wear navy or grey? And are flats the right shoe? Would boots be better? And what color? Do my shoes need to match the tights? Good grief, I hate getting dressed. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

So Good

I was so excited to see this movie. I loved it. Go see it.

Right now.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My husband owes you one.

My husband, I believe I may have mentioned, is STILL working out of town all week. He gets home on Friday night and I just kind of spew my week all over him. So many things happen during the week that I want to tell him so he doesn't feel like he missed anything, but I don't think he thinks he needs a replay of every event. I think this because a couple of weeks ago he fell asleep while I was telling him about how my brother and I smelled pot (like somebody smoking it in their backyard) while we were taking the kids trick or treating. Surely that's the kind of story that would keep a person awake....guess not.

Anyway, I decided I'd let it all out here before he gets home and give him a break. Then, if by chance he does want to know all of this nonsense he can just read it here.

1. We have family pictures coming up, and I told my kids they could wear anything they wanted, I'm trying to keep it casual and low key, but now I'm kind of driving myself nuts wondering what they're gonna wear and if what I wear, if I can ever decide on that, will match. What have I done?

2. Our daughter, bless her heart, has started this thing where she wears headphones and sings LOUDLY while she does her chores. It's really sweet and carefree.....and loud. She's kind of driving us all bonkers.

3.  I'm really going to try to be done with my Christmas shopping by December 1st, so I've been thinking about gifts a lot this week, sometimes I get an idea that I think is super funny/clever/original, then I remember that not everyone else thinks I'm funny/clever/original......next thing you know it's gift cards all around.

4.  Today at the gym there was this tiny little old lady looking for a machine to use, and she went to one of the elliptical machines and gave it a good shake, like she was trying to see if it was sturdy enough to stand up to the beating she was going to give it. Better safe than sorry I guess.

5. Our daughter sent me a text this afternoon that said "I feel like I'm going to throw up." Then she tried to get me to come and get her. When I suggested she lie down in the nurses office for a few minutes first, to see if the feeling would go away she sent me another text that said, "Nevermind, I'll just suck it up." I'm not sure if I won because she stayed at school or lost because someday she will have those texts to use against me when she needs some guilt points.

6. I cooked, a real meals, twice this week.

7. Thanksgiving is a week away and I'm already having anxiety about gathering with those who are closest to me.

8. The YMCA is closed all week next week for the holiday. What? All week?! That is really not going to work for me. I get cranky and stressed when I can't go to the gym (What have I become?). Please see #7 if you think this is not going to be a problem.

9. Tylenol with codeine makes me feel/act like I'm drunk. If I don't figure out a way to get my runs in next week I just might have to take some on Thursday. Which could actually make for the most interesting family gathering we've had in years.

10. How is John Travolta making that hairdo of his work? I mean he's bald(ing), we all know it.

 and this.....

are NOT the same hairline. Is he gluing a little rug to his head?

I feel so much lighter. Thanks.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The agony and the woe. Such is my life. Or something like that.

Last night I watched the episode of Gilmore Girls when Luke and Lorelai break up and I sobbed like a baby. A big ol' crazy baby. Then I watched Parenthood and cried some more. Poor poor Christina. Thank goodness Kentucky beat Duke. Can you imagine how dehydrated I would have been if I'd had to cry over that too? Oh wait! Kentucky didn't beat Duke! What the what? Sob fest all around I tell ya.

Then I went to bed and had a dream that Luke went to pick up Lorelai so they could talk, but it wasn't his Stars Hollow Lauren Graham, it was the Parenthood Lauren Graham, and she just didn't look right to him, he couldn't put his finger on it (maybe a "procedure" gone wrong?), anyway he wanted to get back together but he was having a hard time with her new look so it wasn't going well. I didn't get to find out what happened because one of my children (I don't know WHICH one because..."Not me!") had set an alarm to go off just before 5 a.m. with apparently no intention of turning it off until it drove me out of my warm cozy bed. As soon as my feet hit the ice cold floor they finally turned it off, but of course by then it was too late, there's no returning to a dream cut short. (Profound, eh?) I'm blaming the whole night on Duke and their "flopping".

Damn you Duke!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Our seats were good too.

I have a thing about getting to the movies early enough to get a good seat. It doesn't matter what the movie is, I hate sitting in the front or the very back or too far to either side. If more than 60% of the seats have been sold, I won't even buy a ticket. Why would I pay good money to be miserable for 2 hours? Exactly.

Don't act like it surprises you that I'm a freak.

Experience has taught me that if a movie has been out for more than a week, thirty minutes early is probably fine. However, if you're seeing something opening weekend, especially if it's an action movie, you should try to arrive at least an hour early. Trust me.

Saturday we went to see Skyfall. Our original plan was to go between 5:00 and 6:00 because it's less expensive, and more importantly, less crowded, unfortunately we didn't make it out of the house until 5:30, my husband thought that still gave us plenty of time to make it to a 6:10 show, but my gut was telling me that getting there so close to showtime on opening weekend could only end in a seating disaster. Thankfully there are times when he knows not to mess with my crazy and he agreed to the 7:00 showing and we headed out.

This fascinating, right? Hang ON, I'm getting to the good part.

The plan was for me to get in line while my husband and son got some dinner. I bought the tickets and was relieved to see that there were only about 40 people ahead of me.....at 5:50....for the 7:00 show. So, there, I'm not the only weirdy. There are 40 others. We're a small elite group of movie goers. Back off.

I brought a book to read while I waited. A book is a multi-purpose prop; 1.catch up on some reading 2. avoid awkward conversations with goofy people who like to be early to movies (you wouldn't believe some of the conversations I've gotten roped into). It was working fine until an older couple got in line right behind me. First I overheard them talking about a down jacket that was on sale at Eddie Bauer, which could be important...... if you don't live in the desert, wearing a down jacket around here could do a person in, so I was waiting to hear if they were visiting from a part of the world where down can be worn safely, they never said where home base was, instead they skipped straight from outerwear to some bitter chit chat about the mother-in-law, I tried not to listen, but you know how it is with in-law ranting, I'd like to see any of you tune that out, when they started going over their seating plan I gave up on reading. These people had a strategy, they were not messing around.

Him~ "Ok, as soon as they let us in we'll try for the two right........and if those have already been taken we'll go for .........."
Her~ "Yes, we should split up right away, that way each of us can try to get a different set. If we can't get the two right........, then we should at least be able to get the ones that are.........."

They did not speak aloud specifically which seats they were gunning for, it was clear they didn't have to. Make no mistake, they may have been dressed like a couple of unassuming senior citizens out for a movie, easily confused or bumped to the side, but this was not their first rodeo. I wouldn't have been surprised if one of them had a seating chart, or even a stun gun, in their over sized bag of outside contraband treats.

After they had confirmed the plan they went back to talking about stuff like Roger Moore on Entertainment tonight and I was able to get back to my book. When I'm reading sometimes I kind of get in a "zone" and don't pay any attention to what's going on around me, so it's possible the seat schemers had tired to get my attention before I noticed the wife squatting next to me trying to get a look at the underside of my book..

When she caught my eye she looked a little embarrassed, I guess she was thinking no one would see her there, practically upside down.

"I was just wondering what you were reading." She said. I showed her the book (Team of Rivals), she asked if it was good, I said that it was, she said that it must be if I could read it with all of these people around. Then we both smiled awkwardly and I went back to reading. Not too much later she touched my arm and asked if I'd read the new book by "that woman who wrote Harry Potter". I told her I had not, she told me not to bother, that she was a foracious (which I guess is a mix of ferocious and voracious) reader and it couldn't hold her attention, she'd rather read Harry Potter. "Now those are some good books, she should stick to writing that kind of thing." Then she asked if my book was about Lincoln. It was. Then she asked if I knew there was a new movie coming out. I did. Then she asked if I had seen Entertainment Tonight because Roger Moore was on and his face has just gotten really big, like it's swollen. He doesn't look like himself at all, in fact, as first, she thought he was Jack Nicholson. (which if you ask me is not too shabby, but maybe it's not a compliment, I don't watch Entertainment Tonight, and I haven't seen my old pal Jack Nicholson in ages, so who knows?) Anyway, she continued, everyone says that Daniel Craig is the best Bond ever. And that guy who plays Lincoln? (Um, Daniel Day Lewis, I said silently to no one, because I didn't really want to risk further discussion and also, good luck getting a word in anyway.) She read somewhere that he spent a year studying Lincoln before they ever starting filming so it's probably going to be pretty good. She just might have to go see it.

The whole time I was just standing there smiling and nodding holding my open 20 pound book. Finally she said she'd let me get back to my reading. Which I tried to do, but that's when she and her husband decided to go over their seat grabbing plan again, and as much as I was dying to know how Lincoln convinced Seward to take the Secretary of State job it was too tempting to listen in.....

Her~"So I'm going to rush up there........ while you try to get, you know......those are really my first choice but if we have to take the others that will ok too."

Eventually my husband and son showed up and it was finally time for our movie. After we were settled in our seats, but before I could tell my husband this story he leaned over and said "Did you see that lady who was behind us in line? She charged ahead like she was in a big hurry. Trying to get the best seat I guess."

You have no idea.

Monday, November 12, 2012

When my hamster died his music really helped me through.

We watched Rock of Ages this weekend and I loved it. Not the acting or the story, but the music was the best. Pretty soon I was thinking about my teenage years, and big hair, and MTV, and how my taste in music evolved during that time. 

My first concert was Rick Springfield.

The year was 1984, Corey Hart opened. (You remember Corey.... he who wore his sunglasses at night?) I went with my best friend and her mom. We were so excited. Well, my friend and I were, I really have no evidence that her mother was excited. But she was willing, and that counts for a lot. There were no seats on the floor, just a big open space with million sweaty teenage girls (and their chaperones) smashed together screaming and swooning. My friend decided we needed to work our way to the front, she was hoping we'd get pulled up on stage ala Courtney Cox. Luckily, we were the only ones with that idea. Ha! Ever tried to push your way through a solid wall of Rick Springfield fans? Hmph. Those girls are crazy! The Navy should make that part of their SEAL training course. By the time we got close to the stage we were drenched in sweat (a good portion of it our own) and the concert was almost over. It was starting look like there was no way we were going to catch his eye when suddenly..... a little space opened up (probably because some girl fainted due to dehydration from all the sweating she'd done in the past 2 hours), we squeezed our way in and BOOM!! Rick Springfield touched my friend's hand!!! We nearly DIED! It was the best night ever

I wore my shirt til it was worn clean out, but thanks to the miracle of the Internet, not only have a found a picture of a shirt just like the one I bought that evening, but I found a few vintage 1984 Rick Springfield concert shirts for SALE!! That's not all, thanks to the power of my Amazon wish list, I can cross my fingers and hope someone buys me one for Christmas (I'm nostalgic but I ain't paying $45 for an old Rick Springfield shirt).
By the end of the 80's I had gone from Rick Springfield to Van Halen and finally settled down with U2 and The Cure, where I stayed for many years wearing black and sporting weird haircuts.  Even though I gave up "Rock and Roll" I'll always have a soft spot for the Rickster. 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

You just never know what you're gonna see around here.

A couple of days ago I was at a red light when I noticed an altercation at the bus stop. I know, crazy, right? A man and a woman, who judging from the grocery cart the man was standing next to and the over loaded deluxe walker the woman was sitting behind, were both A. homeless and B. Not actually waiting for a bus, but rather, perhaps, just taking a load off. First there was shouting, then the man kind of shoved the woman's walker/closet, then the woman called him a selfish SOB and hopped up and whacked him with her cane causing the man to fall into the street. Don't worry, he wasn't hurt, he jumped right up and the shouting continued.

Sadly the light turned green so I had to move along. I couldn't help but wonder if they had known each other before the bus stop showdown or if it was a spontaneous act of territory marking. I was little sad I wouldn't get to find out how the whole thing ended.

Much to my surprise/delight/horror (not really horror, my inner Mrs. Kravitz was thrilled) when I passed by on my way home they were still there. Just the two of them and a man standing way off to the side who appeared to actually be waiting for a bus. They were sitting together on the bench chatting it up. They had reconciled and restored my faith in......I dunno....something.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

It's on

Basketball season has begun. Are you as excited as I am?

Friday, November 9, 2012

Just wondering.....

This afternoon on my way to Target I passed an accident. Some poor guy had smashed into a police car. In addition to the smashed police car, there were about 4 other patrol cars on the scene. It got me wondering.....if you run into a police car, who writes the ticket? The officer you hit, or one of the 4 that show up to direct traffic?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Bond, James Bond

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Now that we're finished with all that silly election business.....

...we can finally start talking about the Fiscal Cliff.

Just kidding! Lets talk about Christmas shopping.

No, really. Lets do it.

I have a dream, and in that dream I'm done with my shopping, stocking stuffers and the whole shebang, by the end of November. Please note, this does not mean that I want to put up my tree early, or that I in any way endorse the over commercialization of Christmas, but the facts are the facts, we give each other presents for Christmas. No amount of sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "LaLaLa" loudly is going to change that.

Can you imagine how much less Grinchy I would be if I didn't have to think about gift buying in December? I can, and it's a beautiful Zen-like thing.

I'm a big fan of online shopping, especially Amazon and their Wish List. (Did you know you can add things from other websites to your Amazon Wish List? Cause you can!)

Are you an early shopper or a last minute crazy pants? Homemade stuff? Giftcards? How do you roll?

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Monday, November 5, 2012

Rory & Dean

Have I mentioned that I've been watching Gilmore Girls? For the first time ever? What can I say, I like being able to watch an entire season at once. TV on DVD is one of the best things ever invented. When I'm done with this show I think I'm going to start in on The Love Boat. Who's with me?

For now though, if you would please join me in Season 5, episode 4, the one when Dean breaks up with Rory for the 3rd and (I hope) final time. There was the time when he said I love you and she didn't, so Dean through that huge tantrum, then there was the time at the dance when Dean knew that Rory liked Jess but she wouldn't come out and say so, and finally this last time, when Dean came to pick Rory up from the grandparents house and all of the Yale guys were there. Can we please talk about Dean and what Rory sees in him? I don't understand it. I know he was nice to her in the beginning and all but I've always felt he was a little immature and jerky. I was team Jess for a while there, he has a good heart and he really did love Rory. Unfortunately, in the end, I think we all know that Jess is probably not headed anywhere good, though maybe with Rory's help he could have gotten his act together. We have to want to be helped though, don't we? Poor Jess. 

But Dean, ugh! I never felt good about him. He seems very controlling and small town to me. Then when he married Lindsay and cheated on her with Rory. Loser. Bless her heart, in a place like Stars Hollow Lindsay will never be able to shake that gossip. It could go on for years.

Now I just hope Rory doesn't start dating that Logan kid. Sure, he's cute and funny. He's also a big snobbity snob. Alas, nice guys don't make good TV. I'm afraid she's destined to always dated jerks. Even when she travels back in time to the 1960's she ends up with Pete Campbell. So sad. I guess that's what happens when you decide to live your life out on the small screen.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

It's been a thrilling weekend

1. Tried Thai food on Friday for the first time, did not die.

2. Ran Saturday morning, even though I didn't want to. (Not 50 miles, we can't all be superheroes.)

3. Took the daughter shopping for running shoes. Decided the downfall of society may come from having too many choices.

4. Went to see Alex Cross movie. Paid full price. Almost died. From laughing. At how bad it was. (Good Grief! It was BAD.)

5. Ate my weight in brownies. Immediately regretted decision.

6. Read The Red House by Mark Haddon. Two thumbs up.

7. Lost a bet with my husband when we scraped by with only 2 political testimonies on the last Fast Sunday before the election. I was expecting a few more.

8. Latest season of Psych streaming on Netflix. Psych marathon tonight. Sweet!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Friday, November 2, 2012

Holly jolly by golly

Glory hallelujah! Holiday dog sweaters are in stock at target. Not a moment too soon I say! When I stopped in to grab last minute Halloween supplies on Wednesday I was confused.....was it a costume? Is Target suggesting dogs need coats here in Arizona? Dogs can barely wear the coats they came with and not have a heat stroke around these parts. Then I decided, who cares? The point is, I don't have to wait until after Thanksgiving to figure out if my dog will have something cute to wear when she freaking out at our next family party.

With any luck I'll be able to get my hands on some Valentines in a couple of weeks.

PS-Tomorrow my brother and his wife are running 50 miles. Each. By choice. No one will even be chasing them (which is FOR SURE the only way I could run 50 miles, and even then I'm sure things would get sketchy and all survival of the fittest). Good luck y'all!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Alrighty then.......

WARNING~This post is mostly a bunch of pictures of our kids, I've given up my family blog, I should have done it a long time ago, and it really  shouldn't a huge loss to anyone seeing as I've probably posted there twice in the last year, but my mom will be coming here looking for pictures of the grandkids now, so here they are mom.~

Medusa, Dr. Sexy, and Marty McFly, pre-trick or treat. All of them took their costumes very seriously and were trying to stay in character. At least the excuse I'm giving as to why I could not get them to stand together for 5 seconds to take a regular picture. (For the love of Olan Mills, they REFUSE to act normal in a picture!! They're driving me crazy! We're taking family pictures soon and if they keep this up, so help me......)
Anyhow, here's Nate, striking a pose.
Apparently the thing that makes a Dr. slide from regular to sexy is cowboy boots. 
Who knew?
Medusa~You can't tell in the pictures, but she had a bunch of braids and little glow in the dark snakes in her hair, it turned out pretty cute.

Here's Marty, doing that thing he does (I guess?).
We met up with my brother and my niece (Darth Vader Princess) and my nephew (Lego guy) for the trick or treating portion of the evening.
Holy moly, those kids have some stamina. I found myself longing for the days when they were tired after 5 or 6 houses. My nephew was determined to get a year's supply of candy. I think they would have gone all night. We probably walked 10 miles (or 2 miles that felt like 10 because of all the sexy grown up costumes we had to be subjected to, and I ain't talking about people just adding cowboy boots to their witch getup.) My brother only made things worse when he likened trick or treating to being squirrels gathering nuts for the winter.

This is Ivy's haul. 
Sorted by color, of course(?). Considering how far we walked I was really expecting quite a few more Almond Joys. 

That's it. 
Hope you're Halloween was safe and lacking sexy nuns!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Is it just me, or is everyone else tired of a holiday by the time it finally gets here? I blame Target for pushing candy corn in August and Christmas Trees in September. 

I have vague recollections of trick or treating without my parents, just me and my little brothers in our plastic costumes and those masks that you could barely see out of, running amok. Amok! Amok! Amok! Surely though my parents didn't send us out alone, right? It's got to be one of those false memories planted by a therapist trying to eek a few more sessions out of me. In my fake memory we ran all through the neighborhood with no regard for strangers or danger, then we went home and dumped our massive haul (it always seemed massive anyway) on the living room floor and after my mother checked it for razor blades and needles we sorted and traded. Did hospitals really used to offer to x-ray your loot or is that another false memory? And did your insurance cover the cost of that procedure? 

Three of our kids will be dressing up and heading out to terrorize the neighborhood tonight, Medusa, Dr. Sexy (apparently that's a thing? {He's 17, my influence is limited, as in, non existent.}), and Marty McFly.

Funny story, I was super excited when I found the puffy orange vest for Marty's costume at Old Navy.~ May I pause to say, what? Puffy vests are back? It's a total Halloween score but I fear it's a further setback for the state of fashion in the world. One that we can scarcely afford at this stage of the game. ~ Anyway......When I was checking out the vest rang up $10.00 less than it was marked so I asked if it was on sale, which it was!!  Naturally, I was then even more excited, because clearly, I am the most giantest of dorks. That was when I told the guy ringing me up that my son was being Marty McFly for Halloween, because, duh, Chatty Cathy (I get it from my mom), fully expecting the youngster taking my money to have no idea who Marty McFly is, but nooooo. He practically shouted "NO WAY! I'm being Marty McFly for Halloween!" And for a moment I didn't know if we were having a moment or if he was going to sue me for Costume Idea Stealing (which is a battle I totally would have won seeing as how I had never laid eyes on this weirdo until 2 minutes before our weird conversation). Turns out he was super thrilled to find another soul who appreciated his love of Back to the Future, he even placed his foot on the counter (awkwardly I might add) to show me that at this very second he was wearing his limited edition 1980's hightop sneakers. Let me tell you, Chatty Cathy and her mom couldn't even compete with this guy, he told me the whole story of how he had been planning for a full year to be Marty McFly and had gone to great lengths to gather an authentic costume. Bless his enthusiastic little heart.

Michelle posted an awesome video about the rules of the candy swap. Important viewing material for both candy traders and candy trade moderators. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Look! Party pictures.....

Wendy Whiner Here

I'm having a bad day. Week? Month? I don't know. It's not even 7 a.m. and the dog has already chewed up a shoe. A new shoe. A shoe that was worn maybe 3 times. She's not even normally a chewer. My husband has been working out of town since July, he's home on the weekends, which I know is more than some people get so I'm trying not to complain, but I'm really getting tired of handling everything by myself. Again, I know LOTS of people don't even have a weekend husband. Or electricity. Sorry. Apparently I can only hold things together until the dog ruins something. I've had a stupid sinus headache for a week and a half that has kept me from the gym and I think I'm cranky because I haven't been able to exercise (#3 on the list of things I thought I'd never say).  We had a family party last night and it should have been really fun, I love all of the people who were there but for some reason I just walked around in a fog, like I was outside of my body. It was weird. Stupid even. I used to love having parties. We had a big pumpkin carving party every year for like 10 years, I'm talking throw open the doors and invite the whole neighborhood big. A few years ago I started feeling overwhelmed by it and we didn't have one at all for a year or two, then last year the kids really wanted to do it again so we invited only family and that was better, but last night, I don't know. Maybe it was because my husband wasn't here, or maybe I'm tired. I was even more awkward than usual. 

Stupid dog.