Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Some stuff I really love right now~

1. Amazon.com I have barely left my home and yet I am nearly done Christmas shopping thanks to Amazon. I love being able to sit in my bed and shop while watching Mad Men re-runs. 

2. Bounce Dryer Bar I didn't expect to like this thing, in fact I was kind of annoyed with myself when it came in the mail.  I'd gotten an e-mail that said something like~ "Wah wah would you like to try wah wah free wah wah......". I saw FREE and replied "sure, send me one."  Then after I had long forgotten about it, this Bounce Bar thingy shows up with a little note reminding me that I said I wanted to try it, I felt somewhat compelled at that point, so I did. I tried it. It is awesome! It would be weird how happy it's made me if I weren't such an easily excitable dork. 

There is this little sticky pad that you stick to the inside of your dryer and this little replaceble bar of Bounce stuff that goes on it. That's it. Stick it on and go. I'm not doing it justice with my description, but it's easy and there have been no negative side affects, the best part is no dryer sheets. Did you hear me? NO DRYER SHEETS! Our laundry room usually looks like a breeding ground for used dryer sheets. They're everywhere. The package says that the bar will last "up to 4 months", I'm sure that's for a family that doesn't do 5 loads of laundry a day. Our first bar lasted about 2 months, which is pretty good. The dryer is still producing lint, so if the Bounce people could work on that I'd appreciate it, but for now, I'll take not having to remember to add fabric softener. 

3. My New Shoes These are the best shoes I've bought this year and I don't care if they make me look like The Trunchbull when I wear them with skirts. So there. "Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto."

4. Christmas Music Since I'm not leaving the house to shop, I have tons of free time to dance around in my good smelling clothes and my dorky old lady shoes. I'm driving my family nuts. Which is fine, because everyone knows that's what the holidays are all about.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Just the thing...

.....for the person on your list who has everything.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's like the whole world has become a series of bad SNL skits

Really people? This is not right. 
Diapers that look like Santa pants? COME ON!! 
Is there no end to the things we will put small children through?
Obviously not. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Oh what a day!

We woke up this morning and decided to skip church and go on a family hike. I know, you're absolutely SHOCKED at our sinful ways. Believe it or not, as much fun as it is arriving at church ready to strangle or be strangled by your family every single week for reasons ranging from "he looked at me" to "why is there NEVER any Captain Crunch?", once in a while we throw caution to the wind and do something crazy like take a family hike. Look away if you must, the burden of your disappointment is a small price to pay for a fleeting moment of family unity.

As luck would have it the conversation today was remarkably educational. For example, we learned that a butt-ton (not to be confused with a "button") is significantly more than a butt-load. I was so relieved we were able to clear that up. How embarrassing would it be to use either one of those terms incorrectly? Once the grammar lesson was out of the way we moved on to other important topics like whether or not it is possible to drink an entire gallon of milk in less than an hour without vomiting. This is an easy one for me, as I have milk issues and would never even consider entering a milk drinking contest, a glass of milk served at less than the optimum level of refreshing coldness is enough to make me throw up, but for other members of our family the gauntlet has been thrown down and apparently we will be having a drink-off over the Thanksgiving break. Now is the time to place your bets, in this corner the man who swears that in his youth, much to the dismay of his grocery buying mother, he drank many a gallon in under five minutes, and in this other corner over here, the boy who claims he and his friends have projectile vomited much milk trying to prove their milky manhood.

What is wrong with boys/men?

Don't you worry, I'll let you know how this turns out. There may even be video.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaa.

Yes, I do know that Thanksgiving has not even arrived yet, and that there are those who think it's too early for Holiday Music, I'm mostly one of those people, but I bought this yesterday and it's lovely and I thought you'd want to know.

Get your own here.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Because I care about world events, and so should you

So many things important things have gone on while I have been on vacation and away from the newspaper. (Just kidding, I don’t read the newspaper. Ha! Paper. Who uses that stuff anymore?) Anyway, I know I’m late and everything I have to say is old news and there’s new news already but I feel compelled to comment on a few items anyway.

First, Herman Cain…..you ding dong you! You are cracking me up!!  I can TOTALLY see why people would think you should be our next president.  I was going to post the Mike Tyson does HermanCain video because it’s really funny but I decided Herman is just as funny as he can be all by himself.

Next, Kim Kardashian, hmmm.  Since I don’t have cable, I have not even seen one episode of her show,  though I’m sure it’s captivating, perhaps if I had there would be a side of Kim that I would feel compassionate toward or even curious about, instead I just think the whole thing is dumb. HOWEVER, my friend *Joel Stein who writes a column for TIME magazine called The Awesome Column, which it totally is, had some insightful things to say about the whole Kardashian fiasco. You can read them here. He’s funny and smart. He says things like “We have created a culture where marriage is less important than the wedding, which is less important than the Vegas bachelorette party, which is less important than the Facebook photos of the bachelorette party.” Amen says the woman who paid $50.00 to get married at a drive by wedding stand in South Carolina to the man she is still married to and has never once regretted not spending $500.00 on a dress she would only wear once.

Basketball season is here. I’m sure I will have much more to say in the coming weeks, but for now I don’t want to be all braggy and jinx anything, because, as you can imagine, my brags have been known to have jinxing power, let's just leave it at winning is FUN! and call it good for today.

*Joel Stein and I are not really friends, but I know we would be if he would only return my calls and e-mails.  Just kidding. I have never called or e-mailed Joel Stein. That would be weird. Which I am NOT.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Miss me?

Oh my gosh! Did you think I was never coming back? I was. I am. I did. Like a week ago almost. Wow. Time flies!

Virginia was great.  Tons of fun and just the right amount of crazy.  Now I’m missing my niece and nephews terribly and trying to catch up on everything I didn’t do while I was away. Apparently it takes 2 weeks to make up for every one week you're away. Who knew?

I have my computer back, finally. Well, not MY computer exactly. The shell of my old computer with a new hard drive inside, which it turns out is remarkably like getting a new computer at a fraction of the price. The downside is that nothing was able to be recovered from the old hard drive and every day I remember something else that I trusted to technology that is likely lost forever. Curse you technology!! {This is where I tell you that ALL of my contact information, e-mail addresses as well as mailing addresses was on the dead drive, please e-mail me your address if you want to continue to receive heartfelt handwritten correspondence and dorky birthday cards, unless of course this is the break you’ve been hoping for and now you can be rid of me once and for all!........as if!}

Alert! All is not lost!  As I was setting up my new computer last night I discovered over 1000 pictures on my Google account that I have uploaded to my blogs. Take that all you losers who say blogging is a waste of time!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Guess what?

I made it to Virginia. We flew into North Carolina and caught a ride with my mom and her dog the rest of the way to my brother's house.  
You're not going to believe this, but when we landed in Raleigh the first thing I noticed was that they have WEATHER on this side of the country. Not only was it chilly but water was actually falling from the sky. It was impressive.
The second thing I noticed was a grown man wearing overalls in the airport. Sadly I do not have a picture of him, but please believe me when I tell you, it was everything you would expect an adult wearing overalls in public to be.
In North Carolina they also have shopping centers dedicated to Daniel Boone. If you ask me, nothing says "thanks for the memories" like shops set up in your honor. 
And behold.......
SEASONS!!! That's right. Leaves that change color.
Nice, eh?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

In case you were wondering......

I want to thank you all for your kind words of condolence. Our computer fixer called this afternoon and it looks like my hard drive is indeed dead. I'm little embarrassed to admit this, but I almost cried when she told me. All day I've been remembering things that are on that computer, and ONLY on that computer. Addresses, e-mails, copies of this, that, and the other thing. Ugh. She did say that it would be a good idea to hang on to the hard drive in the event that sometime in the future a new way becomes available to extract information from dead hard drives. For some reason this gives me a mental image of a room full of cryogenically frozen computers. Not necessarily comforting. On the brightish side, I've kept a family blog for several years and there are quite a few pictures there, so....yay?

In the morning my daughter and I are heading out to Virginia to meet our new nephew/cousin and start a wild rumpus with his 3 siblings. I didn't even start packing until 6 o'clock this evening. I know!! Hopefully we're just going to be hanging out at home covered in spit up, cause I mostly packed track pants and goofy t-shirts.

Traveling gives me anxiety, I'm not good at leaving my house, especially when half of my family is in it. Also, I'm a little nervous about taking a trip alone with my daughter. We're like Felix and Oscar. It could be a long day. For both of us.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A moment of silence please

Yesterday afternoon tragedy struck. I hope you're sitting down. My computer died. It wasn't even that sick. One minute it's working, the next minute there's this weird clicking noise, (that I ignored for about 3 hours--how was I supposed to know?!), then nothing. NOTHING! A black screen. I tried restarting it and kept getting some stupid "No driver found" message.


My husband called a friend who makes computers for a living and when we described the events of the afternoon she said something along the lines of "Oh, that's bad. It sounds like your hard drive may have crashed."  I was sure that was just computer fixer gal lingo for "It's gonna cost you a "butt ton" to get this fixed." (a butt ton is what my kids always say when they mean a whole lot. I have yet to verify it's actual dimensions, but apparently it's massive, and is frequently the amount of chores and homework they have). Turns out that what it really means is "I'm so sorry for your loss, but it is very unlikely that I can save the FOUR YEARS worth of pictures, so hopefully you backed them up on an external hard drive you moron. What?! You don't have an external hard drive for your pictures? Are you kidding me? Who leaves FOUR YEARS worth of pictures on something so unreliable as a computer?"

I feel like my house just burned down and I wasn't able to grab the photo albums.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

It's about time....

I thought November would never get here.

This morning as I was tossing our jack-o-lanterns in the garbage I realized that Halloween has lost some of its charm. I used to be a pretty big fan, but I think I’m over it. It feels like all of the holidays are over the top nowadays. Next thing you know there will be a Martha Stewart line for Arbor Day.

Last night I saw adults dressed as a sexy Minnie Mouse and a super scary demon trick or treating with their kids. What is wrong with people? Did you know you can get a sexy Big Bird costume? Big Bird! For crying out loud, is nothing sacred?

I woke up to a text that my newest nephew was born this morning. He waited until Halloween was over bless his heart.