Friday, September 2, 2011

Not that this will come as a surprise to most of you.....

It turns out I might be a villain.

The other day my brother called and asked me if I’d started making my super hero costume. At first I laughed, but then I realized……I do in fact have a super power, I tell people all the time, sarcasm is my super power. I have the ability to offend mother-in-laws in a single bound.

It’s true. I’ve done it more times than I can count.

We started talking about costumes and mottos (because we are grown ups for sure) and soon I became quite intoxicated with the idea of being a caped crusader.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Um, excuse me Sue, isn’t your son’s wedding date just barely a month away? Don’t you have better things to do with your time, like calculate the amount of chicken salad required to make croisandwiches for 100+ guests?” And to you I say, “You betcha! And just as soon as I iron out all of these super hero details I will get right on that.” (In the meantime, if guestamating chicken salad amounts is your super power, would you mind terribly leaving the quantity and a recipe in the comment section? Thanks!)

The first thing I did was get out my thesaurus. Natch.

Funny side note~ A few years ago I was given a generous gift card to Barnes and Noble which I decided to use to make a practical purchase ~ an expensive thesaurus. What could be more practical than a timeless resource book? Apparently in my fervent rush to have all those words at my fingertips I failed to remember one minor detail, the internet. I have used my behemoth book of words about 3 times.

Anyway, like I was saying, I got out my thesaurus so I could find another word for sarcasm; if I’m going to be a super hero I want a name that will stand the test of time. Something clever that will showcase my power.

I was quite shocked to find that my expensive resource book does not think so highly of my gift. In fact, here are a few of the synonyms suggested ~ ironic, contemptuous, sneering, trenchant (which I had to look up and means deliberately hurtful, ouch!), acerbic, and smart-alecky (ok, maybe that one fits).

I decided to give wit a try. Much better. Astute, shrewd, sagacity (profound knowledge and understanding, coupled with foresight and good judgement). Super Sagacity!! I like it.

Then I started thinking that maybe obvious is the way to go, like Batman, or Spiderman. Those guys didn’t go crazy thinking up things like Arachniasapien; they just went with the first thing that popped into their heads. If it’s good enough for the Hulk, it’s good enough for me.

 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Wit Woman!!

What's your super power?


Karen said...

Oh, Sue. I like it. Can I be Robin?

lori.huffaker said...

Can I be your Snarky sidekick?
I am super strong and my biceps are an inch larger than the Arnolds, plus I grow some awesome vegtables, stop by and look at my garden sometime, I will share with you, it's my ministry. There you go...Snarky Gal, from the CountryLife. Perfect