Friday, September 23, 2011

I see London, I see France....

Just when I thought I was getting used to the idea of my son getting married it was time for the bridal shower. Holy heck!  At the end of my life, when the list of my 10 most awkward moments is read (and you know it will be), sitting two chairs away while my future daughter-in-law opened lingerie will be in the top 3. (I’m a dork, the thought just popped into to my head that I need to pick a team, either use numerals or spell the words, don’t mix and match, but, because I’m a dorky rebel, I’m leaving it just like it is, and adding this stupid stream of thought as a bonus. You are so welcome.)

Anyway, the bridal shower….This probably sounds naïve, but I was caught completely off guard by my reaction. I really hadn’t even thought at all about the fact that I was going to a party where it was likely underwear would be tossed around, the kind of underwear that means sex. Not just sex, but that my kid, my BABY, is going to be…….

I can’t even type it. Sweat was literally streaming from my armpits. (That’s quite the visual, eh? One woman looking at her pretty new things while 2 chairs away another woman is spraying sweat on anyone in her immediate vicinity. Someone should write a skit about me for SNL.)

How did it come to this?

I have 4 sons. FOUR!  This is not my last bridal shower. People should warn you about stuff like this when you start having kids. “Um, excuse me ma’am, some day this boy is going to grow up and meet a lovely girl, you will probably even like her. That girl will rip your boy away from you and wear get ups she got from Victoria’s Secret and from then on you will only see him at Sunday dinner twice a month for the rest of your life. There is nothing you can do to stop this.”

Childless people are probably aware of this. It’s the secret no one tells.

What has been the hardest thing for you to digest as your children have grown up? 


Karen said...

Ha ha ha. Oh Sue. I think I was just so happy that my son found someone who wanted to spend time with him ... that I would have actually bought the panties as a parental offering ... kind of like the 10 cows.

The one thing that has been hard for me is how much my son-in-law has taken over my role. Kacey is so smitten by Karl that he can do no wrong. It's hard to compete with that ... so I've had to step back from my mother-knows-all role ... because now Karl-knows-more.

But alas, both of my married kids are happier than I ever was at their age, and that's all a mother could ever ask for. This could quite possibly be a direct link to Victoria Secret! Bless her heart.

lori.huffaker said...

What Karen said is so true, it's hard to give up that role of the all knowing mom. What is nice about that is, if you don't tell them how you feel all the time, they will start to ask. The best part though, is that grownup married kids are so much fun, I love having my kids come over and hang out way more than hanging out with my friends(sorry friends). Edge is not being ripped away from you, believe me, they will be back...whenever they are hungry. Or bored and have no money. Or need to borrow something. Enjoy it.

Julie said...

So funny, yet so not. Ack! My son is 15 and the thought of that happening IS a bit strange, yet I know and hope it will. Oh dear.

Todd said...

I can NOT believe that you did not give sexy undergarments to your soon-to-be daughter. Do you even care about your son's happiness?

NatureGirl said...

Just keep thinking...grand babies, grand babies...
But pretend they come from the stork!

Shawna said...

I just found you via blogher...what a funny post! My son is 5 and holy crap I don't even want to think about the future in those terms! You sound like a great mother in law by the way!