Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Your day is about to get GREAT!

I noticed the other day that the document where I keep my rough drafts for this blog is 48 pages long.

48 pages of unfinished thoughts, stupid observations, and topics I wanted to, at one time or another, write a post about. Some of it's old, like from the last election 4 years ago old, and some of its not fit for human consumption yet, some of it, I'm afraid, never will be. There's a little bit of good stuff mixed with a whole lotta junk.

Anyway, I've got to clean that thing out. I can't even see the bottom of it (I'm kidding, if I scroll down for an hour I CAN see the bottom. Must we always be so literal?).  I hate to just delete everything, so, I've decided, on days that I don't have anything else to say I'm going to start purging some of it. Like a garage sale. Except you don't have to pay me. Yay! Free stuff!!

I really am a dork.

Here you go, 3 things I probably should have just gotten rid of.  You're welcome.

I work from home. My desk sits at a window that faces the front door. I can see out, but those who come knocking cannot see in and therefore do not realize I am sizing them up, deciding if they are worth my time. It’s harsh but true. My time is valuable.

Already this week I have ignored some Jehovah’s Witness’s, a roof “inspector”, and some guy with a clip board.
Here is a list of places, all with very good reasons, that I do not take my children-

1.       The Circus-It smells bad and the animals are not treated well.
2.       Fairs of any kind-They’re run by carnies
3.       Hot Topic-It’s run by carnies
4.       Peter Piper/Amazing Jakes/Bounce-a-roo….. any place where they give you tokens with your pizza-----Chaos+Me+=Panic
5.       Swimming in rivers or lakes-slime underfoot and living things in the water
6.       Bowling Alleys-Sweat and who knows what all kind of icky stuff left behind. 
I hate that little Skype popup that always tells me who’s online. Do you guys get that? As soon as I see it I think, “Ugh, I wonder if their going to Skype me?” Or if it’s someone I want to talk to I think “Hey! Maybe they’ll Skype me!” Then after about 10 or 3 minutes my insecurities go to work and I start wondering “Why aren’t the Skypeing me? What’s wrong with ME?” I’m pretty sure the answer to that question is that I’m a loon.


lori.huffaker said...

Keep on purging and I will keep reading. Well worth the time to read when I'm supposed to be working.

Radel said...

I don't comment much, but I love reading your blog. It makes me laugh every single time!! And when I need a little pick-me-up laugh, I think "sexy like a pirate!" Thanks!

Heidi said...

You're hilarious! Especially the Hot Topic comment. Shudder! I loathe that place but it's the only place my daughter can find her black hi tops. Shudder!