Monday, August 22, 2011

Just another dumb cat story

Do you guys remember a little while ago when I told you about my husband the cat lady and how we were being overrun by cats and how only one of those cats was even tolerable to me, thanks to her crotchetiness and unwillingness to suffer those “other” cats and their antics? 

Maybe not. It’s a lot to remember.

 Welllllll……Last Sunday morning I woke up and found one of our back doors open, which in itself is an AWESOME thing as it allowed us to swap a whole bunch of our icky expensive cold air for some delightfully free warm air. Apparently one of our children had not latched the door properly and it had opened on its own sometime during the night. At first I was a little annoyed about the air exchange, until I realized that some of our cats had taken advantage of the situation and escaped. Whee! 

They came back.

 Who says cats are stupid?

 But then......

Our old crotchety cat is in the habit of hiding under beds and coming out only under the cover of darkness to take her meals then promptly returning, it never even occurred to me that she might have slipped out when she had the chance. Besides, the couple of times she has gone out she’s quickly realized that it’s an oven out there and come right back in.

 Around Wednesday I realized I hadn’t seen her for a few days so we did a casual search which turned up nothing but some giant lint balls and that one thing somebody has been looking for since February. I still didn’t worry too much because I figured she was just sick of us and our “here kitty kitty” and she’d found a good place to hide. Cats are sarcastic like that.

 By Friday I was getting a little worried. We still hadn’t seen her and people were placing bets on where we were going to find her corpse. Saturday morning I called her bluff and made everyone thoroughly clean EVERYTHING. Still no sign of her. Weird.

I figured that even though we didn’t see her, we also didn’t smell her so the news couldn’t be too bad.........I realize this is making me sound like one heck of a prize winning compassionate pet owner, look away if you must.......Of all our cats she’s my favorite, but I’m a dog person, if you know what I mean.

Any who......

 Sunday evening we were eating dinner when someone shouted “LOOK!! It’s Tiger!” Sure enough she was standing outside our back door. When we opened it to let her in she ran off and we had to lure her out from under our neighbor’s shed with some tasty dry cat food. For the life of me I can’t figure why she even came to the door if she was just going to run off again. Cats.

 She’d lost weight, I’d guess how much but that would mean pretending that I had any idea how much she weighed to begin with and also MATH, so let's just say, some. She’d lost SOME weight. A lot for a cat. 

She acted weird for a couple of days, and one or two of our kids suggested taking her to the vet and having her put down as it seemed unlikely she would ever be the same after being outside for a whole week (my kids would be shocked if they heard about the lifestyle of those crazy “farm cats” who live outside ALWAYS), I think they were just trying to get revenge because they had to clean under their beds during our “search party” because this cat has never been one of those cats who likes to fetch, if you know what I mean. Her half starved heat stroked self is not a whole lot different from her hide under the bed and hiss if you leave the lights on too long self. She seems to be pretty much back to "normal".

Anyway, I said all that to say this, our cat went missing and we thought she was dead, then she showed up again and it’s possible she’s a zombie cat who will never die because zombies are already dead, right?

Cats are awesome.


Karen said...

If cats are so ... insert any negative adjective here ... then why is it that when we are praising somebody with the highest degree of glory, we say that they're "the cat's meow". Things that make you go hmmmmm.

You're the cat's meow, Sue.


lori.huffaker said...

Hopefully none of your kids will go missing. I doubt the others would go through that whole house cleaning thingy to save a sibling.

Brittany Larsen said...

Seriously, cats suck. But this post and your story do not. It made me laugh a lot.