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Monday, July 25, 2011

There comes a time when you have to admit you're beat

Friday afternoon my kids were about to kill each other. A little too much summer vacation perhaps? It doesn’t matter why, the important thing is, I was losing my MIND, so I said “Hey sweethearts, we’re going to a movie RIGHT NOW!!”

I looked online and the next available show was Captain America. Not everyone wanted to see Captain America, but you know what? When the alternative is sit around the house and drive your mother insane by finding ways to annoy your brother, you don’t have a choice, you are getting your butt in the car and going to see Captain America and we’re gonna be the hap-hap-happiest bunch of ……

And we were!

On the way to the theater my son, who seems to know waaay more about comic books than he knows about grammar, gave us the Captain America back story. We got some popcorn and settled in just in time for the previews. There was one for a new Spiderman movie that looks eerily similar to the other Spiderman movie, which got me thinking, “What the heck? Why is there a new movie just like the old movie?” I leaned over and asked my son those questions and he informed me that there are several versions of Spiderman comics and the new movie, even though it looks the same, is different from the other Spiderman movies. This is all very confusing to me. (Todd and/or Eddie, can you confirm or deny this theory? And perhaps explain to me why this is necessary?)

When the movie started he shared more of his comic knowledge by telling me that Tony Stark’s father would be in Captain America because Iron Man is a Marvel comic.

Here is where I confess that I have been schooled on more than one occasion about the difference between Marvel and DC comics, but to be honest, I don’t care enough about super heroes to commit this information to memory. I’m sure this disappoints some of you. Sorry.

The movie was fine, the thing that interested me most was how they made Captain America look so skinny before he was injected with muscles, for I too would love to look puny in pictures.

When the movie was over I started gathering my things but the comic king told me we had to stay until the credits were over because, duh, all Marvel movies have something cool at the end of the credits (except that one he told me the name of but bless my heart I did not commit it to memory). It seemed that I was the only person in the theater unaware of this post credits bonus because, I kid you not, no one else was leaving either. And then……when the last words rolled off the screen and our sneak peek appeared, people CHEERED!! For a preview!!! Wha?

So, spoiler alert! There is going to be an Avenger movie. (Which apparently is something really awesome, because the two comic experts in the row behind us kept going on about some girl avenger who is such a badass and how they hope they make her a funny badass in the movie because that is the best kind of badass. Who can argue with that kind of logic?) Samuel L. Jackson is in the Avenger movie and all I have to say about that is……Tommy Lee Jones is looking much older, but Sam Jackson is I believe what people are referring to when they say, “black don’t crack”, because he does not look one day older than he did in Jurassic Park (I would think that having something like Jurassic Park on your resume would be the kind of thing that would age a person, right?)

On the way home my kids started arguing about Captain America's "super powers", proving that they can be distracted but not derailed. I just turned up the radio and ignored them, I know when I've reached the limits of my super powers.

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