Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Sun is not my favorite planet.

You know what? That "it's a dry heat" thing is a bunch of crap. I've done the dry and the wet heat, they both suck.

It was miserable here this weekend. I know, everyone says that. When my out of town relatives call we always have to play some version of "Who has the worst weather". It's fairly exhausting.

They always challenge me by asking, "So, how's your weather?" in that "tone". I tell them. Then they insist that they have it worse because of the humidity. "Sure, but at least it's a dry heat. We're looking at 97 degrees, with 101% humidity today. It's the humidity that kills ya." My father actually accused me of exaggerating when I told him we'd had 117 degrees a few days ago. Exaggerating? Really?! For what gain? Not to mention, I'm not the one who brought up the weather!! I personally like to stay inside my climate controlled abode and pretend the weather does not exist. 

Look, here's the thing, I live in Arizona, 75% of the year my answer to the weather question is going to be hot. The other 25% the answer is going to be damn hot. I'm not trying to impress you, those are just the facts. If you ask I'm not going to LIE and say "Actually, we're having a very mild summer. Mid 80's, low humidity, just lovely really.You should come out for a few days"

I'm sorry about your humidity, it sucks. I believe you. I hate sweating too. It's gross. I'm so glad we don't sweat here. Wait a minute.........yes....yes, we do also sweat here. Dry heat does not, contrary to popular belief, prevent sweating. 

Call me in December when you will for sure be the bad weather winner. I might even feel sorry for you. Until then, it's summer and we're all in misery, so can it.


Karen said...

Ha ha ... Sue said damn! It is sooooo damn hot. But I have to admit that I'm excited about that Monsoon that threatens to stir things up every evening. I find myself looking out my window and just hoping that we'll get a REAl Monsoon ... not an itty bitty fake one. It takes a piece of my mind off of that damn hot steering wheel that I have to bounce my fingers around on as I try to drive. Damn!

Gramee said...

Oven? Sauna? which do you prefer?

neither I prefer OUR weather, fall- spring, no snow, just warm weather, yes it is dry.

We have Paradise here in Arizona do all the others??

Hilary said...

Haha, I just moved to AZ... last week, when I heard it hit 121 in Mesa. I agree, this has been a painful change.
I am afraid of my electric bill.
Found you on MMB

Brittany said...

Really, damn hot is the only way to describe that kind of weather and I feel for you. I won't even visit my in-laws in the summer because they live in Las Vegas and if I want to take a trip to hell I'll do it by giving up funny underwear & keeping an extra 10% of my paycheck each month.

Momza said...

Loved this.
I was born and raised in Miami, Fl. so I know about humidity.
I've lived in some humid places in the States--Houston,TX.- Spartanburg, SC -Charlotte, NC Independence, MO...
and I've lived in Phoenix. As far as the misery factor, Phoenix wins.
The heat was unrelenting and miserable. Dry heat just means it cooks you from the inside-out, as far as I'm concerned. Every summer I lived there was dreaded. We were either stuck in the house (a/c), swimming in lukewarm pools, at the mall, a movie theater or a restaurant--just to stay cool. I had to use oven mits on my steering wheel. My kids didn't want to play outside in the summer and I couldn't blame them.
We left there in 1998 for Colorado.
I will take the snow over the blistering heat any day of the week. It's supposed to be 89o here today with a rain storm this afternoon.
And, the first electric bill we got in AZ. actually made me cry. It was 1993, the thermostat was set at 80o, and it was $522.00. In my mind, that was potential "vacation money"...as in, we coulda gone to San Diego for a few days but instead we paid APS. Oh how I do not miss it. I hope your summer goes quickly! It's almost August!
Thx for the vent!

Michelle said...

Very funny. I'm living in a a dry heat that's not quite as hot as where you are yet, and I do have to say I love it a whole lot more than the midwest humidity I moved here from. I will never miss that for one day! But you're right, hot is hot.

Found you on Post of the Week

Valerie said...

I've lived in Miami and Ohio, both had horrible humidity that I hate, but dry heat is still miserable when it is 90, 100 or even more. Ugh!

Angela Noelle of SK said...

HAHAHA. This post is priceless. Stopping by from down under, in NZ...where in summer we never get much over 30degC - EVER. We average in the 20s in summer.

Caren with a "C" said...

(Shhh.... the Sun is a star... not a planet... though it makes a great title.) Sorry you are suffering in the heat and humidity, come take a vacation in California on the coast if you can.