Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Please try not to be jealous of my super exciting life.

This morning I noticed a disturbing (?) trend. This blog, the very one you are reading right now, is getting quite a few visits from folks looking for information about **Slenda Lean. Since it would be such a bummer for anyone to feel like they’d wasted a trip I’ve decided to issue a little statement to those who wander in search of diet miracles. Here it is~ 

I hate to sound like a bad news bear, but I've come to believe that these trendy little diet gimmicks never seem to deliver what they promise. Have you ever read the fine print on the Dexatrim box? It says that if you eat sensibly and exercise while you’re using their product you’re bound to lose weight. People!! I’m no Albert Einstein but I’m pretty sure that if you eat sensibly and exercise you're bound to lose weight no matter what! Of course that means you miss out on some of the side effects perks, like a racing heart and sweaty palms, but, hey, if that’s what it takes to make you feel like you’re really getting somewhere, by all means, get thee to the diet aids. I’m just sayin’.

Moving on.

Last night, thanks to the technological wonder that is Netflix streaming, I enjoyed a veritable fruit salad of television viewing.

First, I watched Exit Through the Gift Shop, a “documentary” directed by the mysterious and elusive Banksy, about a street artist named Mr. Brainwash. Have you seen it? As far as I can tell the whole thing is joke. At least I hope that’s the deal. It’s not clear who the joke is on, but I’ve already given 2 hours of my life to watching the film, I really can’t spare any more energy for the cause.

Then I donated 88 unrefundable minutes of my life to the first two episodes of The Kennedy’s. Boy, that Katie Holmes-Cruise, she’s something, huh? Why do you suppose we don’t see more of her?

Finally, I was going to watch Paris, with Juliette Binoche. Don’t you love Juliette Binoche? First I wanted to catch the news and verify that I am still living in the bowels of hell by making sure that a large portion of my state is still on fire and that temperatures are truly forecasted to reach the danger zone of 113 flaming hot degrees today, but because I’m like a monkey attracted to shiny things I never made it to the news. As I flipped through the stations, PBS caught my eye and I ended up watching an episode of POV* about pastry chefs. It was fascinating. And long.

For the record, I don’t usually watch this much TV, my husband has been out of town and I don’t sleep well when he’s gone; apparently I’ve grown so accustomed to the sound of a freight train barreling through my bedroom that complete silence is now a deal breaker.

*POV is a reality show with all the drama edited out.

**Slenda Lean link  .......suckers


Alexis said...

So how do I get my hands on some SlendaLean. You never told us.

wesley's mom (sue) said...

I'm so sorry, I thought I would have talked you out of the slenda lean. Click on the link and all your wildest diet dreams will come true.

Or something.