Thursday, January 27, 2011

For the Love of Vaingloriousness

I should have a raffle. How much do you think people would pay to have dinner with a crazy person?

You wanna to know my first thought last night when my husband told me that his sister and her husband would be in town this weekend and they want to go out to dinner with us?

I have to dye my hair.

My second thought, “I bet I could lose 3 pounds between now and then.” (Don’t ask why 3 pounds, if you’re expecting logic you’re in the wrong place.)

These thoughts were closely followed by visions of rapid fire house cleaning and makeovers for my children.

I am insane. That should have been my first thought, “Why would those lovely people want to spend their one night in town having dinner with a loon?” Maybe my sister-in-law has a blog where she exposes the sacrifices she makes in the name of love, like enduring a night with a fruitcake, to spend time with her brother. Bless her heart.

The in-laws in question are people that I LIKE, and who, by all indications, like me back. (If you have information to the contrary keep it to yourself please). They are fun and funny and we haven’t seen them for a while, it will be great to go out to dinner with them. Really, I mean it.

For the love of Raymond, why does the slightest mention of any member of my husband’s family turn me into a mad woman? Does it happen to you? Is there an in-law or a neighbor or a mother of your future daughter-in-law who makes you forget everything good and positive you’ve ever known about yourself? What is wrong with us?

Also, how should I wear my hair, straight or curly?

And do you have a favorite word? I used to think favorite words were silly, but now that I have Vainglorious I’m totally on board the favorite word train. I also like to say Modigliani. Try it. It’s fun.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Titles are overrated

I've been a little busy. Doing what is hard to pin down, but believe me, there has been "stuff" keeping me busy. So so busy.

For example, my job. The company that employs me has decided to make its employees work hard for their money. Not physically mind you, but mentally. Ugh. Mental exhaustion is the very worst kind if you ask me (of course no one ever asks me anything except are there any clean pants? or have I seen their car keys?, occasionally I get an "Are you going to buy milk today?").

Between my family, my calling, my job, and my quest to become practically perfect in every way I hardly have a second to document all the fascinating details that make up my day to day existence, trust me, no one is sorrier about that than me. Some day, 6 1/4 months from now, I'm going look back and wonder what I've done with my life.

I'm sure I'll get over it.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Just a regular day in my life

You know what’s embarrassing?

Realizing that you're a giant dork because you're singing along OUT LOUD (quietly) with the stupid shopping music as you’re leaving the grocery store, then looking over your shoulder and seeing a man walking close enough behind you that there’s no way he didn’t hear you (you were quiet, but not that quiet), so you speed up, hoping to get to your car quickly and get the heck out of there, only to find that he’s parked right next to you. Then you die right there in the parking lot.

So embarrassing.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I too have been looking for a marble conference table

p.s. Google Chrome wins.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

And tomorrow I shall tell you how to build a clock

I'm sure you probably figured that a woman who can make a mitten must be able to figure out ANYTHING. Mostly that's true, I can be pretty amazing, but when it comes to things like getting new phones or DVD players, pretty much anything with buttons I get a little bit of a rash. The unfortunate truth is I'm technologically impaired. I'll stick with some old half working thing with a cracked screen for years just so I don't have to learn how to work something new. It's kind of pathetic.

My husband on the other hand always wants the newest fastest shiniest most waterproofiest thing he can get his hands on. He's always complaining that something is wrong with our computer because it doesn't zip along like all those fancy computers do in the movies. After the whole bubble wand/Kindle thing I wanted to do something nice for him, so I got the idea that I could make the computer faster then when he's looking at recipes on The Pioneer Woman he won't have to wait so long for, you know, whatever it is that is making him wait and complain. Small problem with my plan...... I don't have the first idea how to make our internet go faster. I keep hearing that Internet Explorer is a horrible browser. I know what you're thinking, horrible is such a harsh word, well it's not the kind of language I normally use, I'm just repeating what I hear from my nerdy friends (ok, I made that up, I don't really have any nerdy friends, if I did I wouldn't be here begging for your help). Word on the street is that it's not fast or efficient, and if there are two things I strive to be, they're witty and well dressed fast and efficient. I've downloaded both Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox to my computer, both seem to be faster than Explorer, but I don't like change, so right now I'm trying to use each of them a little bit to see if one or the other grows on me, neither has yet. What I would love is something that looks and acts like what I have now, just faster (and you know, more efficient).

I said all that to get to this, if you guys have any browser preferences or suggestions I'd love to hear them. Thanks.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Perhaps I should have resolved to write posts that make sense

but I didn't, and I haven't had any sugar all day and I'm all doped up on Nyqil, and, ta-da......gibberish.

Yesterday I wore two pairs of socks. All day. It’s been a little chilly here in the desert for the last few days and I don’t like to be cold, so I wore two pairs of socks. So what?

Then I made a mitten. Just one. I wanted to see if I could do it.

I can.

Now I’m not sure I’ll make a second mitten. Contrary to the message you might have gotten from my earlier confession about the sock doublingupping, it’s not really cold enough here for mittens. Besides, I’m pretty much a glove girl.

It turned out nice though, don’t you think?