Monday, November 15, 2010

Is my random italics usage making anyone else dizzy?

I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed for the past couple of weeks, I’m pretty sure I’m dying of tired, so we decided to take a real day off yesterday. Yes, I said, REAL DAY OFF, you know, instead of our regular Day of Rest, which anyone with children knows is not so much restful as it is exhausting, frustrating, and l-o-n-g. (Why is it so much more work to get everyone ready for church than ready for a school day? Probably because on a school day, once they're dressed and fed they all leave, but on Sunday I have to get ready too, then sit in a pew with them while they poke, pinch, complain, and snore.)

~Also, I would like to clarify, just in case the devil is reading this (and why wouldn't he be? Hello Satan!), it was all MY idea. Me, me, me. My husband did not want to skip church and run away for the day, at one point he even said, and I quote, “This has been a nice day, even if we are going to go to hell for it.” It’s just as you’ve always suspected. I am the driving force behind all of the sin in our home.

Five minutes into our spontaneous two hour drive this conversation took place.-

N~ “Did you know they’re remaking that Tron movie?”

S~ “They aren’t remaking it.”

N~ “Yes they are.”

S~ “No, they’re not remaking it, it’s a follow-up.”

Me~ “You mean a sequel?”

S~ “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. The guy is the son of the guy from the first movie. He thought his father had abandoned him, then somehow he finds out that his dad has been trapped in the game for all of these years so he goes in to get him.”

Me~ “Like Inception?”

Gaping blank stares.

N~ “That’s not why he goes in, after he gets in he finds out his dad is there.”

Me~ “Isn’t The Dude in Tron?”

E~ “The Dude is the dad.”

S~ “The Dude is not the dad”

N~ “The Dude abides.”

W~ “Tron is stupid.”

I could see this had the potential to turn ugly pretty fast if I didn’t intervene.

“Have I ever told you about my granny’s second husband, Bob Watson?” I asked. I spent the next hour captivating our children with stories of white leather belts, hidden liquor bottles, and false teeth. It was a Sunday worthy of a diary entry.


The Crash Test Dummy said...

hahahahah I LUB YOU SO MUCH. You are da bomdiggity. You should be a superstar by now. That's how snarky you are.

I totally agree about the whole day of rest. We are just full of it. Dichotomies, that is.

verifier say scress. It's Mormon strees--short for consecrated stress.

Heidi said...

What a great post! It reminds me a little bit of Abbot and Costello's. "Who's On First?" But better.

Homer and Queen said...

Love it!! I will be in hell with you I am sure. I'll bring the food.

Todd said...

I'm pretty sure that joking about going to Hell is even more of a sin than making fun of TRON.

Just saying.

Oh, and I hear that the food is great.