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Sunday, September 19, 2010

leaping and bounding

Recently I’ve come across a few men wearing wigs. Bad wigs (are there good wigs, especially for men?) Wigs give me the creeps. I personally believe there are only a few occasions when wigs are appropriate for a man or a woman.

1. You have a medical condition (hereditary balding is NOT a medical condition.)
2. You are in a play.
3. It is Halloween (which is not until, say it with me, OCTOBER).

I heard of a woman once, an older wig wearing widowed woman, who remarried and spent the first few years of that marriage keeping her wig a secret.

How exhausting would that be?

Last week my son’s English class had a (“stupid”) assignment. His teacher asked them all to write about a time when they had been so self-involved that they had hurt another person’s feelings. “How am I supposed to write about something that I have absolutely NO PERSONAL experience with?” I was unable to answer his question due to the fact that I found the whole thing so hilarious, thus making me instantly eligible to write on the assigned topic. “I can’t believe you don’t even care that she’s making us do this…..”

Tomorrow I start week 3 of Couch to 5K and I still hate running. Does anyone know how many weeks until I just mildly dislike it?

Last night I dreamed that someone gave my kids a blob of frog eggs and out of them hatched a rabbit, a puppy, and a hissing lizard. No frogs. I really prefer to NOT remember my dreams.

Sometimes (like 8 or 9 times a week) my brother calls me to say “Guess whut I’m lookin at?” These calls are usually made from a Wal-Mart. Last night he called to ask me if there was ever an occasion when really really tight, really really short, white shorts should be worn with 4 inch hot pink stilettos.....at the grocery store. I was glad he added the “at the grocery store" qualifier, because obviously there are occasions for such an ensemble, but I have to agree that grocery shopping is not one of them. Later my other brother Daryl called to tell me that he had just come out of his local Wal-mart (in Virgina~ you get what you get, you know what I’m sayin?) Where he saw a bumper sticker that read “I love G.R.I.T.S” underneath, in small print, it said girls raised in the south. This man’s truck also sported one of those clever “Get in, Sit down, Hold on, and Shut up" stickers, and an Obama decal, which we concluded must have been placed there by vandals.

3 comments:

Karen at French Skinny said...

That trucker sounds like one classy guy.
Hilarious.

carrie said...

Please tell me you know about this: peopleofwalmart.com

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Oh I KNOW about peopleofwalmart

Scott should really start his own website, he seems to see a whole lot of "interesting" things everywhere he goes. He once called to tell me that he was in the mall and some guy had 2 of those giant poodles dyed pink... in JC Penny's.

 
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