Monday, July 19, 2010

I don't think there's any denying that I should be medicated

I was emptying my google reader Saturday morning and I noticed that there was a blogger meet-up planned for that night in Mesa. I don’t usually attend those sorts of events (by “usually", I mean never, I’m not really into the whole meeting new people thing), but I did look to see who had signed up to go and thought maybe it would be fun, if a person were into meeting new people (which I'm NOT).

Then I basically put it out of my mind and got on with my day.

Later it popped into my head again and I remembered my friend Tara and the fact that she also blogs and wondered if she was planning to go. Nah. It’s not like we’re buddies, besides, I convinced myself she would think I was a big weirdo if I called her out of the blue, and asked her to be my security blanket. (Because the reason I’m not into meeting new people is, duh, it makes me nervous, therefore I never go into such situations alone. Never.)

Once again I put it out of my mind.

That afternoon I was running errands when this tweet came to my phone~

Girls Night Out in Mesa tonight 6-9pm at Nielson's on Gilbert/Southern. Anybody local want to go with me? Hosted by Mormon Mommy Blogs

Crap. I did want to go…I guess….But the idea of spending the evening with a bunch of people who may or may not be crazy themselves was somehow not at seeming like a good idea….yet....I couldn’t help thinking “Why not? What’s the worst thing that could happen?” (hahaha!).

Like the true nerds we are we proceeded to have a twittersation~

Me~ @WellRndedWoman i'm on the fence. I kindof want to go, but my reclusive alter-ego is screaming noooo.

Her~ @mrssylvan Plleeaase come with me. I'm nervous to go by myself & would love the chance to talk to you in person. We haven't done that much.

Me~ @WellRndedWoman gah...ok...but I'm not that much fun in person. do you want to ride together?

5 minutes pass…..

10 minutes pass…..

…silence. Was Tara punking me? Could it be possible my anxiety issues were creeping her out? I’d already put on mascara(which is not something I take lightly) so I bit the bullet and called her. (We used to be in the same ward, so too bad for Tara, I have access to her contact information.) She totally pretended that my crazy didn’t freak her out and said that, yes, she was planning to go, and I was welcome to come and sit next to her as long as I didn’t have a panic attack and puke on her shoes. I wasn’t sure I could make that promise, but I didn’t let on to her.

That settled, and me feeling like the most ginormous dork EVER I knew I had no choice now but to go- if I didn’t my new best friend Tara might tell a bunch of strangers what I flippin’ loon I was and there was no way I was going to let that to happen, so I moved along to the next dilemma…What does one wear when meeting people new people and one wants to make a good impression but doesn’t want to appear to have put too much thought into it. Hmm. While I was busily putting way too much thought into that great mystery I noticed my bangs. Crap! People take pictures at these things. There was no getting around it, I was going to have to trim them. (Because nothing says “good first impression” like a bunch of bang trimmings on your nose the when you meet someone new, especially a bunch of someones who talk about their lives on the internet…… “And then there was this one lady with a sweaty upper lip and little pieces of hair all over her shirt….”)

Are you getting the idea that my crazy runs deeper than any of us could have predicted?

I decided I should calm myself down with a shot of vodka. Then I remembered, CRAP….We. Don’t. Drink. Are we nuts?! (well, one of us is that’s for sure)

At some point (2 shots of Listerine later) I told myself that despite the fact that I had giant nervous sweat circles all up in my armpit area, not going would be an admission of defeat, and if we’ve learned anything at all from my illustrious 2 season soccer coaching career it’s that I’m no quitter.

On the drive over, hoping for a little support in my hour of need, I called a friend to confess my self created completely ridicules predicament, and she, as a solid testament to the fact that I surround myself with compassionate loving people, began laughing her head off, when she (finally) noticed I wasn’t laughing with her, she said “oh, you’re serious aren’t you honey? I thought you were making it up.” As a continued show of her devotion she sent a steady stream of texts throughout the evening that said things like “hahaha” and “are they making fun of your sweaty pits?”

Honestly, I cannot imagine why I felt so compelled to go meet a bunch of strangers, except that at some point it became about not backing down and letting my anxiety win. Tara must truly think I'm a psycho. I was beyond nervous. I couldn’t decide which would be worse, for these people to NOT have ever read my blog or the alternative, them “knowing” me, but not really. It ended up not being so bad. Everyone was super nice, and I was able to relax~a little. It’s hard to say if the best part was when we made our initial introductions and I was physically unable to speak, or when everyone was telling the year that they graduated from high school and I realized that I am, um, really old. (the closest to my age graduated 7 years after I did, and it was downhill from there. I was like, “Oh yeah, I’m one of those grandma bloggers who writes about Geritol” and they were all like, blank faces, “Dude, what’s Geritol?”) Luckily the other women were pretty chatty and I didn’t have a chance to loosen up and say a bunch of things that would have required an I’m sorry I can’t control my mouth post, thank heavens. (Although, I have to say, when the situation calls for it, I’m getting pretty good at the morning after apology e-mail). I even got to bring home a gift basket that consisted of some lotions, a bunch of candy bars, and this stuff called Little Stinker Baby Butt Spray, I'm not making it up. It’s for spraying in the air before you change a smelly diaper, because apparently these new fangled moms don’t like holding their breath. Who knew?

What did YOU do this weekend?


tarable said...

Well, Sue, now I know why you had that little bangs-trimming hair on your face all night - was I supposed to say something?

I think you hid your neuroses well & I had a great time with you. Like I said, I've been looking for a new best friend, so plan to get your really old self over to my house at least 3 times a week. And just ignore all the dishes in the sink.

Seriously, I had fun & am so glad you came. Especially since we were the only ones there NOT with Caroline. Let's hope the next event includes a little more of a crowd that we can lose ourselves in. You're inspiring me to blog a bit more too. Watch out, world!

Karen said...

Oh man I'm terribly proud to know you right now! I didn't even know such gatherings existed, and I would have never been able to get myself there! It's like a class reunion, only up-close & personal ... and you're the only one who aged! What a hot mess I would have been!!! Pat yourself on the back girl ... seriously proud to know you.

alexis said...

OK, so I have to ask.

What's Geritol?

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Tara~You should stock up on dried fruit if you want me to hang out, that'ts what we old people like to snack on you know.

Karen~If you only knew. "Hot Mess" doesn't even begin to cover it. You should come next time. Ha. Like I'm doing that again!

Alexis~Thank you for proving my point. Geritol is a supplement for old people. Sheesh. I'm older than I realized.

James said...

Sorry, I had to Google Geritol too.

lori.huffaker said...

I know what Geritol is and I remember the commercials, this is why we like Mad Men, not because it's trendy, but because we can relate! I'm proud of you too, your way braver than me, but your also younger than me, imagine if someone as old as me had shown up...

Jaci said...


I'm so glad I clicked on over her from my BlogHer Ads. Any blog post that involves the phrase "I should be medicated" speaks to me--because I too, should probably be on meds. I think we're anxiety twins!

I'm going to a blog conference in September and had to laugh at your outfit freak out. I'm wondering the same thing! What ARE you supposed to wear to meet a bunch of women you kind of want to impress but don't want to scream "I spent two weeks and $150 on this--impressed much?"

Adding you to my Reader!

Gramee said...

dang, I got sick i couldn't drive that far, to bad i have no blogger friends on this side of town..
I would have loved to sit in a corner with you,

I am older, It would have made you feel better.