Thursday, May 27, 2010


This evening our oldest child graduates from high school, and in less than a month he will go to Columbia to serve a two year mission for our church.

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed by all of it.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I owe it all to my lucky socks.

Today is the last soccer game of the season. On one hand I’m so relieved because I really don’t have time for soccer right now, on the other hand I’m a little sad. This has been a fun team to coach and we’ve actually been winning our games using skill instead of luck and voodoo, which is pretty amazing because I never even got any track pants and how a team can win their games with an improperly dressed coach who has no real soccer skills to pass along to her team is a modern mystery, but who am I to question fate?

There’s this funny kid on my team, this tiny little firecracker and he says “Bloody Hell!” all the time. It’s hilarious. Yesterday I was making them repeat something over and over and finally he slaps his forehead, gives me a look and says “Bloody Hell! How many times are we going to do this?” How many indeed. He's just saying what they're all thinking. The problem is, no matter how many times they repeat something at practice they often get on the field during a game and forget every bit of it (come to think if it, maybe we are winning because of the voodoo). Even during a winning game it can be painful to watch.

Last week at practice one of the dads told me that he thinks it would be really good for our team if I told the kids to spread out during games and concentrate on playing their positions, and if I could get them to control the ball a little better that would be great too. Apparently he thinks we’ve been swapping recipes at practice. So I said, “Hey! That’s a great idea! Why don’t you tell them and have them run a couple of drills for you?” He smiled like he was going to show me how it was done, and thanked me for giving him the opportunity (like I was giving him a gift.hahaha). 15 minutes later, he gave up. I didn’t mock him. I can be kind when I feel like it. Coaching 8 and 9 year olds is like teaching deaf kittens to dance. Easy peasy. Not everyone has the stomach for it.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's little a game I'm calling "Does anybody read this crap anyway?"

Every morning I get up and plan to go to my desk and slam out something witty. What with wit being my middle name and all this should be a simple task, right? But first I have to make my daily list of things there is no way in heaven and earth that I will possibly get done before I go to bed and that’s when things take an inevitable turn down a dark alley.

This is probably going to come as quite a shock to some of you, it surely has to me.

I have limits.

That’s right, are you listening universe? I get IT. I can’t do everything.

Oh I can try. I can make the stupid lists everyday, telling myself that I can do 26 hours worth of “stuff” in the 20 hours that I’m awake. I get so annoyed sometimes that I have to sleep. What a waste of time. Do you have any idea how many more things I could add to my lists if I were a robot?

For my entire life I have believed that it didn’t matter how many things I committed to, I would just figure out a way to fit them all in. I still believe that (mostly), but I have (finally) learned that while I CAN do 75 things at once, the odds of ANY of those things being done well are slim. But since knowing is only half the battle who knows how long I will continue to fight against reality.(if you only knew the long line of reality deniers I come from....I could go on like this for decades)

I keep thinking maybe I should give up the blog and just go back to writing stupid crap on little scraps of paper or in those 6 ratty notebooks I keep in my purse, and the car, and under my bed…….I must have an ego problem because I don’t want to go back to writing in secret. I want to keep posting stupid crap here. In public, so I can hit post and then add “worry for the next 3 hours that you’ve written something super stupid or offensive”. (It goes at the bottom of the list, where I can’t possibly get to it.)

Did that make any sense at all? No? I didn’t think so.

ps~ thanks to those of you who left your thoughts on the immigration debate. I honestly feel that both sides have some valid points and I was going to try to write something, but as the post above clearly shows, I’m in no condition to put coherent sentences together at this time. My sincerest apologies to the policy makers who were waiting for me to weigh in.

pss~In sentence #3, is or are? Am I talking about a list (is) or things (are)? The last thing I need now is a grammar crisis. (You can understand how that one item would stand out because the REST of the post is soo grammatically correct, yes?)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

This, that, and the other. You're welcome.

I’ve been super busy the past few weeks. My little “incident” has turned me into my granny and now I'm one of those people who has to schedule their lives around their Dr.s appointments. I haven’t started talking about the weather on a regular basis or eating dried fruit yet, but it’s coming, so look out.

I PROMISE (I don’t know why I’m yelling) next week is going to be better, I have several items I'm dying to discuss, but in the mean time, here are a few things to ponder.~

~This morning my cat woke me up at 5:15 (A.M!!!) because she wanted a drink of water. Pets are over-rated, doncha think?

~My daughter wants to be Fuzz Lightyear for Halloween. She thought of it 6 months ago, I figured the urge would pass but it’s hanging on. She’s not sure what Fuzz Lightyear looks like, she only knows she will need a crimper for her hair. Naturally. I’m going out on a limb here, but I know my daughter, and I’m guessing she will also need some glittery hairspray and fake fingernails. (For the last 5 years every costume~even the viking~required fake fingernails.)

~I cut 4 inches off my hair about a month ago and now I hate it. I was starting to look like Cher and I thought a change was in order. I was wrong and now it’s too late. It seems that I am destined to never be at peace with my hair.

~Can I ask you something? Arizona, you may have noticed, has been in the news lately over its new immigration law. I’m not going to tell you how I feel about it……yet. I’m curious though, how do you feel about it? I like to think I’m pretty open minded (what?! You think I'm not?) but I’m having trouble seeing both sides of this issue. Would you mind explaining, KINDLY, why you feel the way you do about the new legislation in AZ? Assuming you even have an opinion. I would really like to know why you support or oppose the law, because I feel like I’m missing something here.

~There’s this little pack of Chihuahuas that passes my house every morning around sun up. If dogs could talk I’d like to ask them a few questions, like~Where are they headed? Do they have little doggie jobs? Are they coming home after a night out? Do they think there are too many stray cats in this neighborhood? Have they ever eaten at Taco Bell?

That’s it. It’s Saturday, I have to go have an anxiety attack over my soccer line-up.