Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Crafty, like ice is cold

I listened to The Beastie Boys yesterday (I know!) and now that line is stuck in my head. Those guys are (were?) so clever.  I'm telling ya.  I sprang out of bed at 5 a.m. this morning because this post was running through my mind, that was a few hours ago, I seem to be having a little trouble getting it from my head to the screen. Go figure. My brain gives me so much trouble.  Sheesh.  I don't know why I keep it around.

Sunday I had a "little" episode at church.  It started out with a ringing in my ears that turned to a loudish buzzing followed by an out of body experience in which I couldn't make my body do anything at all but be weird and ended up being the longest scariest 5 minutes of my entire life. Did I mention I was at church? It was like all of my nightmares coming together at once. Not only was I surely going to die, but it was going to happen in front of my children and 100 other people. AT CHURCH. In front of people. I generally try to avoid making a spectacle of myself in front of people. 

When the buzzing\ringing went away and I was able to stand, my husband insisted on taking me to the hospital.  For once I agreed that I should probably see a dr. We spent 4 hours in the emergency room then I saw my own dr. on Monday and between the two it has been determined that what happened was "very unusual" and "hmmm, I haven't seen anything quite like this before".  Depending on who you talk to, it was either a T.I.A, which is like a stroke, but not as much fun, or an Atypical Migraine, which is nothing like a regular migraine except it involves your brain.  More testing is required to come to anything close to a real conclusion, so for now I just wait.  Woo hoo! In the mean time I have come to my own conclusion that lots of doctors really have no idea what they're talking about and the only thing for sure is that I am as crazy as ever.

My children however have learned a very valuable lesson and that is, if you are going to wig out be sure to have an audience, and there is not a more generous audience to be found than the members of our ward.  The outpouring began Sunday evening when I'm told homemade cookies were delivered. I cannot verify this because while I was in my bed trying not to vomit my children devoured them.  On Monday there was a dinner, with dessert, and yesterday I received homemade jam, fresh bread and...

not one, but two bouquets of flowers.
Sadly when the kind women came to deliver their concern and food I turned in to Chattier Cathy.  I wish I could blame it on brain damage, but truth is sometimes I just cannot seem to shut up. Oy. As the door closed behind them I just wanted to die. This is why I try to avoid....well....any situation that involves anyone besides those who are close enough to me to already know I'm a giant dork but tolerate me anyway.(Which includes you if you're reading this, I mean, no one forced you to click over here.) Melting down at church is not ideal for someone with my lack of social skills.

On the upside, I'm not dead. Whew.



James said...

Holy cow.

Hope you're feeling back to your old normal crazy self.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh dear! That is pretty scary! Doctors don't know much about the brain. They pretend they do, but they really don't. I know all about this since my oldest has major problems with his--even more major than the rest of us. This is why medicine is considered an art, not a science. At any rate, I hope that it means nothing, that it is an isolated event and that it will soon be as if it never happened. Hugs!

lori.huffaker said...

The reason I love you is that your a dork! A very smart, funny and witty one, but a dork none the less(is that supposed to be one word?) Anyways, it takes one to know one You were the first person I thought of when my daughter in law said she took a fun pole dancing class with her friends. YOU and I would be soooooo funny in a pole dancing class, seriously, at least to ourselves as we were mocking the women who were REALLY trying to be sexy!! So, as soon as your done being dizzy and lightheaded, the pole dancing class is on me!!

Homer and Queen said...

I would have totally brought you chocolate girl!

Cheryle said...

Be well! Tell the kids they owe you for eating YOUR cookies! Tell them that something chocolate will settle the debt!

AuBien said...

Flowers are nice when you're not feeling yourself..but cookies by far out do them! Hope you get answers soon...not that it changes anything but it stops the hours of speculation. Hang in there.