Thursday, February 4, 2010

When will they learn it's better to just leave me in the foyer?

My husband and I were asked to take part in the Marriage and Family Sunday School class at church. You may or may not remember, but the last time we took part in a “special” class at church it wasn’t exactly my cup 'o tea. It’s possible I don’t have the right attitude towards these here focus classes.

At first I was like “What makes them think WE need to be in THAT class?!” Then I was like “Maybe it’s because we are such a fine example of marital bliss.” Now I think they just needed a few more couples so that one mean girl would feel out numbered when she started complaining about her husband. EVERY WEEK.

A couple of weeks ago the lesson was on speaking kindly.

I so totally could have TAUGHT that class!

Ok, not really. I don’t think I’m terribly mean, but I’m not exactly what you would call “sensitive” and I can be a teensy bit, well, I think I’m witty, but I think I heard a rumor once that some people think I’m a little snarky-(I’m pretty sure those girls were just jealous of my masterful use of irony) The upside of that is that I don’t expect my husband to be romantic, which I think most men would agree is a fair trade, right?

Anyway, I wasn’t too worried until our teacher asked if we knew what one of the worst ways of communicating was. Naturally I raised my hand to say “Grunting. Duh.” (Not really, I haven’t raised my hand in class since the 3rd grade, I still think grunting is wrong, just not wrong enough to get me to raise my hand in Sunday School).


I have to tell you, I started squirming a little when she told us all how hurtful sarcasm can be, and how there’s always a little kernel of truth in a sarcastic remark, and if there was one thing we should all banish from our relationships it’s sarcasm.

You guys, sarcasm is my love language. It’s also my force field and light saber all rolled into one. She’s right about the kernel of truth thing, and I suppose she’s right, that used by someone who’s not a Jedi master (like myself), it can be hurtful, but GIVE IT UP? Hmm.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it for, you know, like an hour.

What if I only used a soft voice? What if I cut out all of the cracks and started being sincere? What if …..?

Well, first of all my kids would think they were living in an X-File, because the only thing that could explain me speaking softly is alien invasion. Then, my brothers would EAT ME ALIVE, because sarcasm is the glue that holds our family tree together. My biggest fear though, is that I would be boring and start liking those sissy books that my book groupmates keep picking. That my friends would be a sad sad day.

I decided to ask my husband-

Me~ “Can I ask you a few questions?”

Half Napping Husband~ "I guess.”

Me~ “Do you wish I were less sarcastic?”

Husband~ “Sometimes.”

Me~ “When? Like when your mom’s in town?”

Husband~ “You’re lucky to get sometimes, don’t push it.”

Me(pushing it)~ “Would it be fair to say that my wit was what first attracted you to me?”

Husband~ “Sure. Your sense of humor worked with mine.”

So there you have it. A match made in heaven. I think that Sunday School teacher of ours would do well to focus less on people’s ingrained personality traits and start tutoring that mean girl on the side.


Té la mà Maria - Reus said...

very good blog, congratulations
regard from Reus Catalonia
thank you

Alexis said...

So is the silent treatment a better form of communicating? Because I'm just thinking about what would happen if sarcasm was given up around here.

Sandi said...

sarcasm is my friend. what does that dumb old teacher know anyway?

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I was raised on sarcasm and so are my kids! :)

Homer and Queen said...

Is she one of the "sweet" ladies? Does she smile all through church? Then she doesn't know what she is talking about. Tell the Bishop you want to teach it next year...

Todd said...

Are you trying to say that you're 'Sarcastic', and not just 'Mean'? Because if that's what you're trying to say, then I need to rethink my whole idea of who you are.