Monday, February 8, 2010

Party on Garth.

Sometimes I feel like there's a whole world out there I know nothing about.

At Borders on Saturday I saw this-
An entire section of magazines devoted to marijuana.  I was surprised for a couple of reasons. 

First of all, duh! Really?! You're just going to walk into Borders and buy a magazine about pot? I guess you can't really have a subscription can you?  What if your mom beats you to the mailbox?  Dude, that would suck.

Secondly, who thinks of this stuff and what new information could they possibly have to share month after month? Are they interviewing stoners?  "Yeah, so, uh, I like to, uh, keep my supplies in my, uh, sock drawer.  I keep the socks all, uh, messy so if anyone were to, uh, yank it open they wouldn't notice my, uh, bong right away." Is there a recipe section? "Beyond Brownies-This Month Learn How to Enhance Your Pudding!" 

I should've taken a look, but since right next to High Times were the Maxim and Hooters magazines (again, really?! Hooters has a magazine? Wha..? "Early in my career as a Hootette I felt a little objectified, but I got over it, I mean the tips are really good.  And now that I've found a spray tanner that's less orange, my shorts look really hot.") I felt like I really should get my teenage sons out of there as quickly as possible. Which has never happened before "Come on boys, we're getting out of this bookstore NOW!"

I have this image in my mind of a couple of guys sitting on a scratchy old plaid sofa in someone's parent's basement, and on the old milk crates that they use for a coffee table are some recreational drug periodicals as well as an issue of Hooters, maybe an old National Geographic or two.  I picture one of them leaning forward, through the smoky haze to take a look at the Girls of the Southwest issue and ask "Dude, do you think those are real?" Snort.


1 comment:

Todd said...

My mom always took my High Times when she got the mail before me. But I think that she really enjoyed the articles.