Friday, February 5, 2010

Boy, I do go on, don't I?

A few things that weren’t quite long enough for a post of their own, but are more than 140 characters~

I have to start today with this: You all know that there’s not really a mean girl in my Sunday School class, right? My husband is very worried that someone from the class is going to read yesterday’s post and assume that they are the mean girl. Of course that would mean that a) people actually read what I write and b) are so paranoid that they think they’re mean and c) don’t understand that I have to take certain fact bending liberties in the race to be sensationally and sarcastically entertaining. Have I disclaimed now? I repeat. NO MEAN GIRL. Unless you count me, which you should feel totally free to do.

Speaking of mean, yesterday I was at my son’s soccer practice hanging out (because you have to hang out. It’s a rule-“Soccer practice is NOT a babysitting service. Parents should remain at the location for the duration of practice and be prepared to help if needed.”) Anyway, I was sitting in my car with my window down, because it was a lovely day, trying to read a book, when I couldn’t help but overhear from the car next to me, because she had her window down too, a woman having a conversation on her phone. It went like this-“The only problem is that our stake only does baptisms twice a month, and her birthday is on the 20th so she’s scheduled for the 2nd one, but it’s on Pioneer Day.” (Pioneer Day is a Mormon Holiday that celebrates, well, pioneers. You can read about it here. I hear it’s a pretty big deal in Utah, but I’ve never noticed it stopping traffic around these parts.) “Can you believe that? It’s stupid. I’m going to ask if they can just do her baptism separate. They always say you need a pretty dang good reason for a special request, I’m going to try anyway. I mean, Pioneer Day, why would they do that? I’m not trying to be a bitch but……..” It’s obvious she’s one of the lucky few that doesn’t have to try. I tried not to listen, because a) it was none of my business and b) I was trying to read and c) it was none of my business, but I couldn’t help it because a) she was talking kind of loud and b) she might not have wanted to, but she was kind of being a bitch.

Oh my gosh. Don’t tell my husband I just said all that. I’ll be disclaiming all next week if he finds out.

Speaking of stupid, I got an e-mail from my dad that included both Tweety Bird in his p.j.s and Jesus on the beach. Looks like Jesus has taken a break from his vacation to stop by my computer again. Don’t get me wrong, I love having him trapped in my computer so often, but I would think he’d have better things to do with his time than hang out with cartoon birds in my computer all day, for that matter I would think my dad would have better things to do with his time too. Honestly. That’s the sort of thing I expect to get from my mother. Has the whole world gone mad?

Speaking of going mad, was that mean of me to spill my son’s “stuff” the other day? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ve laughed about it, and cried about it, and convinced myself I’m the worst mother in the world over it. At this point though I’ve pretty much moved on. (My husband on the other hand has only laughed and not really taken it personally at all, perhaps he’s the problem here, eh?). Stupid as it may seem blogging is how I vent. I write it, I post it, I get over it. Also, thanks to Karen’s comment we decided to let the solitary confinement at school be the lone consequence, I’ve met her son, he turned out okay. I don’t need to go yanking open lockers and being humiliated by a picture of Christ staring at my judgmental self. He’s already hanging around my in-box all the time trying to catch me being foolish (which doesn’t take much effort considering how often I’m a fool).

Speaking of fools, I don’t like it when “artists” put tracks of “spoken word” on their albums (is that what we're calling them these days? Albums?). It creeps me out a little bit. Aside from that though, I’m really enjoying Alicia Keys new “album”.~To be clear, I don't think Alicia Keys is a fool, I think spoken word tracks are foolish.  Just sing me a song already.

Speaking of musicians, is this a joke? Because I didn’t think he could even speak in complete sentences, yet someone expects me to believe he wrote a book?! Come on now. Maybe it’s a picture book.

Speaking of books, President’s Day is in February, did you know that? When I was a girl, back in the olden days we called it Lincoln’s birthday. I grew up in Kentucky and we used to go to Lincolns birthplace fairly often. I got my first Lincoln book when I was about 12. It was Carl Sandburg’s Abraham Lincoln. If you haven’t read it you should. I also recommend Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals. Right now I’m reading Manhunt; by James L. Swanson about the assassination of Lincoln and hunt for John Wilkes Booth, it’s pretty good. If you like that sort of thing, which of course I do.

I feel so much better will all of that off my chest. Thanks for listening.


Scott Thomas said...

What happened to the Vegas comment from the Pres?

wesley's mom (sue) said...

I didn't write that one.
Here's the link-