Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Please pardon the random capitalization; I’m having a small FREAKOUT.

There’s a reason why I don’t need to make New Year’s Resolutions. It’s because I’m a big crazy nut. ----Oh, wait, that has nothing to do with why I don’t need goals……

I don’t need goals because I am a big crazy nut who tends to rush headlong into things (projects, commitments, recipes) without thinking about the fact that I may not possess the skills, ingredients, mental capacity required to be successful at these things. I call it "Growing as a person, the hard way." You should try it, it's very refreshing.

Let me give you an example. My daughter decided she wants to play soccer. I think that’s GREAT. We signed her up, bought the right shoes and waited for further instruction.

And waited and waited…….

She’s playing in a league where the coaches are parent volunteers. You would think wouldn’t be a problem, right? 15 kids on a team, the odds must be pretty good that at least one of those kids has a parent who has a love of the game and is willing to share his or her passion with a bunch of 9 year olds, right? WRONG! So very, very wrong.

After 3 weeks of testy e-mails from the team mom (because out of 15 you might not get a coach but you can bet your britches you’re gonna have a thumb war over who gets to make the snack schedule) reminding us all that we still had NO COACH, I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s how I am, I’m a pleaser, what can I say, the pressure was too much. I sent an e-mail back (reply all, even)saying that I would do it, but they should be aware that I have ZERO soccer knowledge (which is not entirely true, I’ve been to some games and when I was in college I dated a soccer player for 3 weeks, give or take, it wasn’t serious. I mean he was nice enough…..oh..). Honestly, I figured when the dads saw that the honing of their little Pele’s was in the hands of a WOMAN with no skills there would be a rush to relieve me from my offer.

Frankly, I’m getting a little worried about the future of soccer in America.

Also, I’m getting a teensy bit nervous about this evening when I will host(ess) my first soccer practice. THIS AFTERNOON, did I mention that it’s TODAY?! Yeah, well, it is.

My brother, who knows EVERYTHING, and also coaches my niece’s team was kind enough to help me sketch out a plan for our practice and tell me a few vital things that we absolutely MUST do before we play our first game THIS SATURDAY. Also, because he’s a big fat know it all, he mentioned a few things that are nice to know, but not yet, wait until the kids (he meant ME) are little more comfortable with the basics. Unfortunately the “need to knows” and the “impressive tricks” are all in a jumble in my head now (I was taking notes but he’s a fast talker) so I don’t know if it’s the Matthew Dribble or the Maradona Turn that’s for beginners and he’s run off and taken a cruise with his lovely wife and now I can’t even call him to double check. (I surely wish people would be a little more considerate with the planning of their romantic getaways.)

I think I’m going to be okay though. I bought a whistle, duh. I’ve showered. And I’m wearing my Frankie Says Relax shirt, because, I have a sense of humor (and also, you know, to remind the sideline parents who stay for practice to find out if I was lying about my lack of skillz, that it’s JUST A GAME).


Alexis said...

First practice? Lets see, if I remember correctly you need to have the little rugrats run laps around the field until half of them can't stand up. Then, work on some basic ball handling skills. Put them in pairs and practice passing the ball back and forth, while running down the field. Oh yeah, keep your eyes open for a goalie, this is going to be the kid who doesn't mind getting soccer balls kicked at him/her all practice long, every practice.
How many practices do you have before your first game?

Cheryle said...

Oh, Sue! I'm proud of you, really, I am! But a little advice for the future (not for this time, it's too late):

NO. That's the word. Easy to say, easy to spell. (Actually, quite hard to say for pleaser-types, of which I'm one.) So I'm retracting that advice, and giving you THIS advice instead:

Always encourage your children to join activities that already have leaders/coaches/room mothers. I can't tell you how many Cub Scout meetings I ran before I figured this out!

No, there's no charge.