Friday, November 20, 2009

This afternoon I had a nice chat with my son’s algebra teacher.

I didn’t call him, he called me, and I don't think I have to tell you it wasn’t a social call. They never are.

“M-M-Mrs. Lunt? This is Mr. I’m So Smart I Teach MATH.”

I hate these calls, I’m sure he’s a very nice man but no one likes a call from a teacher and unfortunately in my line of work I’ve gotten my share plus a few. They rarely call to tell you that you have the most wonderful child, so respectful and bright, always on time and never a missed assignment. In fact I’ve NEVER gotten one of those calls. NEVER.

No, teachers save phone calls for important things, like bad news.

He skipped the small talk and jumped right in. To be fair, he teaches Jr. High, time might have been an issue, mine probably wasn’t the only call he had to make today.

“I-I-I just can’t get Nate to show his work. No matter what I say he just won’t do it. He refuses. I’ve explained many times that if I don’t see his work I can’t give him full credit but he doesn’t seem to care, he just won’t do it. For all I know he’s copying someone else’s work, you understand? Have his other teachers talked to you about this? Were his past teachers able to get him to show his work?”

I’ve gotta tell you, I feel for Mr. Math Teacher, but he’s starting to sound a little desperate here. So, I assured him that we were not aware of the problem and that I appreciated his call and we would have a talk with Nate and hopefully by Monday he would be ready to cooperate and show his work because we are on the side of knowledge and naturally we want our son to do his best in all of his classes. (We are also on the side of grounding and taking away cell phone privileges, but I didn’t tell him that.)

I guess that broke the ice and opened the flood gates because then he said~

“T-T-There’s one more thing- he’s missing 4 homework assignments from this week and he told me it’s because he’s been working at his uncle’s business, sometimes until one o’clock in the morning, and he doesn’t have time to do his homework.”

It must have been the shock of hearing about my son’s hard life that made me hysterical, because I started to laugh when I heard this. I may have even snorted.

“Nate said that?”

“Y-Y-Yes, he’s told me that on several occasions and, well, I told him that his job is being a student.”

No wonder this guy is stuttering and nervous, he thinks we’re some kind of child slave labor goons who make our kid work until one in the morning AT HIS UNCLE’S BUSINESS!!!! He probably thinks we make him wear those goofy skinny jeans too.

Let me tell you what business my son is in.

He’s discovered girls, and frankly he thinks they’re pretty neat. Word on the street is that they think he’s neat too (heaven help me) and he fancies himself a bit of a ladies man these days. Now, I don’t have any proof, but if I had to guess (and I’ve been doing this mother of boys thing for a couple of years now so I’d call it an “educated guess”) Nate just might be copying his homework, compliments of one of those lovely ladies he’s texting so frequently, and if I had to guess what he’s doing until one o’clock in the morning, I’d have to say that he’s lying in his bed thinking of witty things to say between classes, because I can hardly get him to wash the dishes and put his laundry away so the very idea that he is WORKING until 1a.m. is quite humorous. As a matter of fact, I’d pay good money to see him working anywhere until one in the morning just once.

When he gets home my plan is to mock him without mercy, because really, how long did he think he was going to be able to get by with a story like that?

Then I’m going to ground him for the rest of the semester, without work release privileges, my brother can find some other kid to work for him until all hours of the night.


James said...

Oh snap! I would never have had the balls to try and pull that stunt!

Todd said...

Oh great, now who am I going to get to cover that late shift.

Shalet said...


Cheryle said...

Don't you just love boys when the testosterone levels start to rise? They get so creative with their excuses, while the logic side of their brains shuts down completely.

You sound like you've got a handle on it, though, and in a few years he'll be some other woman's problem. Of course, she may hold you accountable but if she does just tell her how much you hope *she* has sons! (I raised 3 boys and now have 4 grandsons, so I fully empathize!)

fullsoulahead.com said...

I think he gets an A for creativity at least!

Merciless mocking. Love it!