Friday, August 7, 2009

This honestly started out as a post about Hot Cheetos

My daughter got her school supply list in the mail.

I do not like the list. Not one little bit. Let me tell you why.

A. By the time you get your hands on "The List" Target is already sold out of the good stuff. Apparently I am the only parent in town who waits for “The List”, everyone else it seems, is either really good at predicting what their children will need, or they are just running around all willy nilly grabbing up all the Zac Ephron folders without even knowing if their little student is ALLOWED to have “popular character” supplies. HA! The last time I did that I got stuck keeping my tax receipts in a Pok√©mon binder all year because only plain were allowed at school. That is NOT going to happen again.

2. The supply list means school is about to start and I’ve never liked for my kids to be gone all day. I miss them. I would rather have them at home with me, fighting with each other and dropping dry Ramen noodles all over the place (Do your kids eat dry ramen out of Ziploc bags?). PLUS~and this is the best reason I’ve ever had for hating back to school~my oldest is a SENIOR this year and I am really really really wishing I could freeze time. (Because if I could freeze him just like he is, he would be a genius forever instead of getting older and gradually becoming stupid like his parents. Poor kid. He has no idea that the life he is so eager to start will turn him into someone old and boring like me.)

Anyway, back to The List. Healthy snacks made it on to the list again this year. Amazing, because I didn’t think they were really that popular last year. It’s fine with me, I’m all for children and other people eating healthy snacks as long as they don’t try to force their beliefs on me, but here’s what usually happens; at the start of the year the kids are excited about snack time and bring cool stuff, like fruit roll ups (which everyone knows are the KINGS of good nutrition), or s’more flavored granola bars, sadly it never lasts, the thrill wears off and by October the only thing the teacher has left is one of those giant bags of pretzels from Wal-Mart and my daughter starts hounding me to become the snack sponsor because she “will DIE if she has to eat pretzels one more time!!!”

I’m a sucker and I always fall for it and want to send something fun. Not only because I want to be everyone’s favorite, I DO want to be everyone’s favorite but that’s not my only motivation. The school day is LONG and every year recess gets shorter and shorter. Half the time you can’t even take a break to sharpen your pencil unless you’re able to prove the lead was worn away while you were writing an essay about recycling or something, if you broke that lead by accident or (heaven forbid) on purpose you can forget recess at all, you will be standing in line at the sharpener while everyone else is outside safely not running and absolutely NOT playing Dodge Ball (because the throwing of any object including, but not limited to, balls is strictly forbidden) but all the same having a really fun time without you (now that I think about it, maybe staying in and sharpening your pencil down to a nub is more fun than recess these days). The least I can do is send a snack that isn't boring. Besides, once they run out of snacks there are no more snack breaks, and well, the whole recess thing. Kids need all the breaks they can get. Just ask one.

Anywho(I am surely taking the long way around this morning) specifically mentioned, by name even, on the list of Unhealthy snacks NOT to bring, are HOT Cheetos.

Am I the only one who thinks that’s weird? Hot Cheetos must be really super delicious to be outlawed like that. I personally have never tasted them, though I have often wondered if it’s hard to get that yummy looking red coating off your fingers after you’ve eaten half a bag, I would have never in a million years guessed Hot Cheetos to be the number one threat to the healthy snack. Runts candy maybe, after all they are SHAPED like fruit, which can make things a little confusing, or vanilla wafers, since their boring appearance makes them seem like a healthy snack when, in fact, they are actually a cookie (though really, the vanilla wafer is an “accessory cookie” that performs best in tandem with another snack, like pudding or ice cream).

Holy cow! I’m just rambling now.

The bottom line is; who eats Hot Cheetos anyway and this is not another cranky rambling post about moving and that must count for something, right? You’re welcome. Please enjoy your weekend.


Todd said...

My friend Eddie loves some Flaming Hot Cheetos. Of course his wife is a Frito Lay Agent. I for one have never had hot cheetos, unless you count that time I left them in the car over the weekend.

Homer and Queen said...

Red fingerprints on everything...

val of the south said...

They are yummy - but they burn my mouth and seeing as I'm not fond of pain, I almost always just walk on by!

Don't get me started on the stupid school list...last year they brought them home the first day of school - when the sales are long over and nary even a plain folder to be found but we must go to the store NOW!

ps - don't tell my kids, but I really like having them home too :)

Cheryle said...

Back in the Dark Ages, we got our school list on the Actual First Day Of School and had the whole first week of school to get everything. Even in high school. (See, it really was the Dark Ages!) Of course, photography was still in its infancy, so movie star folders weren't around. In fact, we were forbidden to bring movie star anything to school. Yes, this was public school. We were supposed to drool over the unattainable boy in the last row, NOT the unattainable movie star on the folder.

When my kids went to school (this was after The Enlightenment), we had to send a SASE on the last day of the school year and the teacher mailed the list to our home before school started - in plenty of time for the sales.

Oh - and don't get me started on how Back to School Sales start in July so they can make room for Halloween in August!

end rant

PS: Why doesn't each kid bring his/her own snack? Or why not have a snack fund? This is a serious question - I really don't know the answer.

AuBien said...

Our oldest starts kindergarten this year...and this type of ... stuff ... is exactly what makes me emotional about it. The start of more influence time by other people's strangeness. I trust MY strangeness...other people's? Not so much. Good luck, gal!

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Todd-For some reason I have no probably imagining Eddie enjoying some free flaming hot cheetos.

Queen-yes indeed

Val-I think other moms like having their kids home too, they're just afraid to say it.

Cheryle-I don't know why they don't have a snack fund. If I had to guess I'd say probably because it's harder to get people to give money than food. As for bringing their own, what if someone forgets, or has a better snack? Haven't you heard "life shall be fair" is all the rage these days?

AuBein-Amen. I was not ready for my kids to start bringing home habits from the world of strange. ps-time will fly by and before you know it your kindergardener will be graduating. Don't blink.

wesley's mom (sue) said...

um, I meant to say "no problem" seeing Eddie with his cheetos, not "no probably"--cause who says that anymore?