Monday, July 27, 2009

When good things happen to people who don’t really deserve them.

I think I've mentioned that there's a relocation looming in my not so distant future, in fact it’s just a few days away and I feel like I’m drowning in everything that needs to be done before the fateful day.

Right now we are in the phase I’m calling “Extreme Home Makeover: Please pray for my husband edition”, because really, one of us might not make it out of this alive, and it should be obvious to all of you by now that I'm meaner than a snake these days, and I’m pretty sure I can take him.

I don’t want to move. There’s a long list of reasons why, which of course, I think are the best and most valid reasons in the world so, like any rational adult who has undergone countless sessions with a therapist in an effort to be in control of her emotions and not become a lunatic drama queen, I have decided to be bitter and angry about the whole thing and have been wah wah whining like crazy about it. As I said a few days ago, I don’t like myself this way, (though lots of other people claim to, which I think translates to “Oh my GOSH, I am so glad I’m not a big jerk like her!” My anger is good for other people’s self-esteem, like Landmark, only free. Whatever, if it works for you I’m so very glad I could help.)

Yeah, so there’s a lot to be done at the new house and I have been going over in the evenings to chip away at it. It’s hot, and I’m tired (and bitter), so when I get there I put on some “mood” music. It helps me work and my signing keeps the neighbors away (cha-ching!!).

Friday afternoon, just as my good friends Fergie, Wil.I.Am (seriously?!) and I were loudly asking “Where is the love? And whatever happened to the something something and equality?” I heard voices, familiar voices. So of course I did what any one of you would have done, I ducked into a closet. (the surest way to scare your friends off for good is for them to hear you boldly but badly singing along not so harmoniously with The Black Eyed Peas, it’s like 6 different kinds of embarrassing, thank heavens they didn’t witness the dancing).-- No, I didn’t really hide-(what do you take me for? Sheesh, you guys) I was brave. I came out, thinking they must have stopped by to see the progress (or lack thereof) so they could know for themselves if I have been exaggerating during my endless complaint sessions.

But do you know what? That’s not why they were there.

My friends, whose lives are just as full and busy as mine, had come to help me. They even brought their own magic paint rollers. (I know ONE of them FOR SURE was magic, because it painted 2 coats in 2 rooms in 2 hours-MAGIC.) They stayed for 4 hours. 4!!

Here’s the kicker, in addition to being completely NUTS, I am also prideful and stubborn. My friends have been asking me for weeks what they can do to help me, and I’ve known that they were sincere offers, but I have a couple of screws loose, plus I know that they really have to do lists as least as long, if not longer than my own, so I say things like “I’m fine” or “I’ll let you know”. The whole time I’m dying inside and feeling like the task in front of me is impossible.

I can’t even tell you, nor could I tell them, how I felt when I realized they had planned and schemed behind my back to come over and work with me. I cried all the way home. For the life of me I can’t figure out why they like me that much. Seriously. I’m bitter and angry and prideful and crazy, and you know all about that big mouth thing where I say too much of the wrong thing all the time.

I try to not use real names here, but today I'm going to. I want them to know that even though I’m a dork who, you know, all that stuff I said up there, I do have a heart, and more than the painting, which believe me was HUGE, the idea, that on an evening when they could have been home with their families, or better yet on dates with their husbands (it was Friday evening after all) they came to my rescue, means I'm pretty lucky to have such great friends.

So, (in order of alphabet, not importance) Anna Marie, who is in the middle of her own relocation dramarama and honestly does NOT have time to paint my house, Darcy who has the best laugh in the world and calls her husband her boyfriend (isn’t that the sweetest thing EVER?), Lori who speaks softly and always tells me nice things about myself (I would introduce you, but she's too good for my self esteem to share), and Marianne who came on Thursday and who knows more about me than any person should have to and still answers her phone when I call, THANK YOU!! You guys are best and even though I don’t deserve you I certainly don’t know what I’d do without you.


MommyJ said...

Good friends are awesome! :)

I'm horrible at asking for help too. It's just so hard when people are JUST as busy as I am. When I was dead to the world with migraines a few weeks ago, one of my friends finally just showed up and said, "Here are some cinnamon rolls. I'm here. What can I do to help?" It made me feel good.

I hope everything goes smoothly through your move. And as much as you describe yourself as unlikely, I think you're awesome. And we've never met. That has to say something, right? ;)

JennyMac said...

Love this story...friends make ALL the difference and you do deserve the help.

James said...

You're very lucky. Good for you.

By the way, the title of the post sounded for sure like a reference to some Fox reality show.

Karen said...

Anna Marie told me what they did and it almost made ME cry! Sorry I was out of town, but I'm glad they were there for you. She acts like such a tiger, but she's just a bossy little kitten.

jan said...

Thank heavens for good friends! I moved a couple of months ago and my dear friends showed up the night we loaded the truck to help me clean my house. Seriously, my friends were scrubbing my toilets, wiping down my walls and even putting my kids to bed! That is love. I was so exhausted/emotionally spent/sad to be leaving them/overwhelmed that I had to hold back tears the entire time they were there.

I'm so glad your friends came to your aid. You're lucky to have people who love you that much--supposed warts and all!

Cheryle said...

Of course you don't deserve them! No one ever deserves friends like that, but the fact that they show up for you when you are overwhelmed and need their support sayst as much about who YOU are as who THEY are!

Happy move, and lucky friends, lucky you!