Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Today I know I will have a better story than he does.

Before I start work in the morning I like to read the news, you know, just to make sure the world is still spinning. That, and I like to see if there is anything I need to know before my brother calls to say "You ain't gonna believe what I just saw/heard...." Today I have found that, in England especially, things are really hopping. I might actually win our little game today.
First there is the woman who had to cancel her wedding after finding out that her fiance is a porn star. At least, he used to be her fiance. The story goes, that while her friends were planning the bachelorette party they came across his information on a stripper for hire site. She could live with his being a personal trainer, just not that kind of "personal training". Frankly, I've never heard of him, so I have to wonder just how famous he really is.
Then there is this girl who, while trying to uphold the family tattoo tradition, claims to have fallen asleep and gotten a few more that the 3 stars ("points of color") that she asked for on her face. Like 53 extra stars. See that's the trouble with those kinds of family traditions. It's all fun and games until you nod off while someone is poking ink into your face with an electric needle for 2 hours. I always say, "I wish I could go down to the tattoo parlor and unwind." but stories like this are what keep me from doing it, you never know what you'll wake up with.
Finally, some crop circle experts (for real?) believe that the recently discovered phoenix crop circle (top) with it's intricate Mayan pattern indicates that the world may be coming to an end by 2012. Apparently the crop circle guys are really stepping up their game lately, even going so far as to make a--gasp--giant jelly fish "crop design". For my money, nothing says End of Time like a jelly fish. So here's the deal, we are to believe, if I am reading this correctly, that these guys with too much time on their hands, can actually predict the end of the world. It seems I have been looking for clues in all the wrong places.
I gotta go call my brother...


Karen said...

Before I start work in the morning, I like to see if you've written anything. You are hilarious ... see you shortly.

Todd said...

You know, every time I see one of those crop circles I think that the end of the world is near.

jineen said...

that picture is amazing, even tho i cannot see anything that resembles the numbers 2012.....

Homer and Queen said...

Don't you fall asleep when you get a tat? Give the girl a break!