Friday, May 8, 2009

I don’t want to talk about Mother’s Day.

I want to talk about greeting cards. I hate them. Sometimes. Other times, not so much. Today…..hate um.

Why is it I can never find the right card for my mom? I have probably read millions of cards by now and I have yet to ever come across one that says-


Thanks for the material.

Sure, you might be getting it together (finally), but since you didn’t have it together then and everything rolls downhill, now MY kids need therapy.

Crazy is catching, but I love you anyway.

Do you think I could just print that on some nice cardstock?

Okay, I lied, I do want to talk about Mother’s Day. Or mothers anyway, or my mom……or something along those lines.

My mother and I have a complicated relationship, which is, I’m sure, the most common kind of mother-daughter relationship known to all mankind. Lately though I have started to feel an appreciation for my mom. I can tell she’s trying to get her act together, and now that I know what it feels like to have your kids think you are an idiot, I’m feeling a little bad for thinking she was an idiot for all of those years, when really, I’m pretty sure that, like me, she was doing the best she could at the time.

I had planned to write her a nice letter and tell her just that. It was to be tender and heartfelt, the kind of thing you keep forever and ever.

Then she calls me up last weekend and starts one of her crazypants dramas and now I can’t remember all the sweet stuff I was going to write in that letter, because .....grrrrrr.....she makes me NUTS!!! So I sent her one of those regular “Hope Your Day is as Sweet as You are” cards.

Today is her birthday, I HAVE to call her.

Oh please oh please oh please mythic gods of motherhood don’t let my children feel this way about me.


Jan the crazy lady said...

How frustrating for you. It really is too bad that she has to go on these drama trips with you. That is so sad to me.

You will have learned from her. Does she read your blog? Maybe that will get her to think.

Happy Mother's Day..

Homer and Queen said...

I agree 100%! That is why I always send the funny ones! Not a good relationship at all! And yes my kids (well, my oldest) needs therapy, but he at least appreciates me now, although I won't give him money! My mom is a serious pessimist and just sucks the life out of me!!!

AuBien said...

You and I are in the same boat. Challenging relationship with mom. Challenging relationship with mother-in-law. Not easy and sometimes not fun. From my experience when my family reads my blog, it's not helpful. So, personally, I hope your mom doesn't read your blog! We, your readers, we want to hear what's on your mind. If your family is like mine, they don't. Have a great Mother's Day!

Heidi Ashworth said...

My observation is that we rarely make the same mistakes our parents made (though we are pretty good at coming up with mistakes of our own). Here's a thought: if you want your kids to treat you a certain way despite any need for therapy you might have induced (as do we all) let them see you treat YOUR mom that way. Call her, visit her, buy her gifts, be thoughtful and forgiving PURELY for the selfish reason of wanting your kids to do the same for you one day. (I hear it works but it's too soon for me to know from experience.)

Karen said...

It's so funny that you used the word "material". This is exactly what my sister and I refer to our "stuff" as with our mother. Relationships filled with Estrogen seem to be commonly complicated. Great material though!

Todd said...

Does anybody still blog on this site? Just checking.

Cheryle said...

Oh, trust me, your kids will have their own issues no matter how good (or bad) a mother you are. They just will. And they'll swear to NEVER raise their kids like they were raised. And their kids will have issues and wish fervently that their parent was more like YOU!

And so it goes...