Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I’m not sure, but I think I’m feeling a little cheated.

Or I would be, if I were a big old nit wit. I hesitate to even broach this subject for fear of inciting controversy---—oh, who am I kidding? I love controversy.

As I’m sure you can tell, I try to be on the cutting edge of all the latest trends. Well, wouldn’t you know it, one slipped past me. It happens to the best of us. On the radio yesterday morning they were talking about the newest wave of celebratory insanity. Have you heard about “Push Presents”? Am I the only one who didn't know about this? Apparently it’s not really all that new, just new to me. A Push Present is a gift that is given to a woman, usually by her significant other, after she has pushed out a baby. PUSH…..present. Ugh!

I don’t even know where to begin---oh who am I trying to fool? Yes I do. Hello?!! The NAME!!! Push Present. EEW!!

I have given birth 5 times (without an epidural OR a push present, someone owes me big time) and believe me when I tell you that the pushing part, while very necessary (some might even call it vital), is not the part that I would want a prize for. How about a Puke Present? For all of those months of throwing up every time ate anything, stood up or smelt the interior of the car. How about a Pee Present? For the MILLION times I went to the bathroom so a tiny trickle of urine could escape. How about a Prozac Present? For all of the times my hormonal out of wackedness made me feel like I was going to lose my mind.

Or….how about this…..hold on to your hats……not giving people rewards or presents for just doing regular stuff. For crying out loud women have babies!! It’s kind of what they do. I mean it’s great to recognize that it’s important and hard even, but needing a gift for doing something your body was intended to do is just silly.

Next thing you know men will be expecting a present when they take out the garbage. And you know what they are going to want. We need to nip this rewarding thing in the bud, before it gets anymore out of hand.


Hel said...

mmmm... prozac present. Can I have that one now please?

And while you are giving presents away, I would also like a "Nipple Bitten" present, a "Peanut Butter in the Hair" present and if you really must... a "Stitches" present.

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Oooh! If there is something that is gift worthy it is suffering through bitten nipples. There were a few times I thought I might not recover.

Alexis said...

Being 22 weeks pregnant I think I will take a different stance from you and say that my hormones would like very much to be-how should I say it 'appreciated'-by way of a small gift. I would like to think maybe these gifts are for the culmination of things that lead up to the 'pushing', which includes the leg cramps, the morning sickness, the stretchmarks, the carpel tunnel, the headaches, the backaches, the weight gain, the mood swings, the worry, the pain, the kicks and punches, the swelling, the rib pain OK I'll stop. But my point is that even though it's just something we were meant to do, I think a gift isn't so bad. I mean we give people gifts for turning another year older as if that really took any effort.

I think- a-hem- a spouse giving a little gift would hit the spot while still on morphine because of stitches while anticipating bitten nipples and peanut butter in the hair.

On the other hand, the name 'push presents' just seems a bit tacky huh?

Alexis said...

And why a 'push present'? people who had to have c-sections don't get one?

I am feeling a little touchy today-can you tell?

Homer and Queen said...

I'm just sitting here laughing at the post and comments! I'm with all of you! How about an I can't stand my teenager present! We would be getting presents everyday!

Heidi Ashworth said...

My husband gave me a piece of jewelry for the gift of each of our children (not the actual pushing). And, yes, I guess he has been expecting presents in return for all he does. The presesnt usually in another baby. And so life goes round . .. (funny post!)

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Alexis-Touche on the birthday point. I'm not a "present" person anyway, I think it's all kind of silly. It seems like everyone wants recognition for everything now days, and I find it to be a bit too much.

I don't know about the c-section ladies, it surely seems that if anyone deserves a prize, it's them. What would we call it?

Homer and Queen-Amen! An "I survived 10,000 illogical conversations with my teenager" present would hit the spot about now.

wesley's mom (sue) said...

Heidi-Okay, I'm jealous! Is it fancy jewelry?

Did he think of it on his own or did he have help? Because that's another thing, my husband is clueless about giftgiving. It's just not the way he works and lucky for him I'm not the kind of girl who gets worked up about stuff like that.

Cheryle said...

You ladies are missing the most common and present-worthy event of them all: The Yes-I've-Got-My-Period-Again Present.

Just think of all the menstrual cycles you've tolerated just so you could present your husband with an opportunity to give you a "Push Present."

For the C-Section moms (of which I am one), I'd like to suggest the Now-I-Have-A-Huge-Honkin-Scar-And-You-Get-To-Do-The-Vacuuming-For-Six-Weeks Present.

The joys of motherhood!

Todd said...

I know I'm just a guy who will never have to "push" one out, but how about these little guys are actually pretty great gifts themselves.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I never got a push present either. I'd love a snot in my hair when the baby is crying present. Yuck.

Mother Goose said...

i've never heard of such a present!
I need a I've wiped your butt how many times present?
and all of the presents mentioned prior. LOL
yeah, if you get a present for pushing, then I should definitely get one for a c-section.
because I would take a vaginal delivery with an epsiotomy any day over a slice across the middle.

val of the south said...

My husband bought me the best push present ever (at least most appreciated at the time!)- a pack of chocolate doughnuts from the vending machine after each delivery!