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Friday, April 3, 2009

I'm not saying this really happened....

.......but hypothetically speaking, lets just say, by chance, you are a teenager, one who enjoys a nice long hot shower, which I get, really, I myself love a nice long hot shower (or at least I used to when there was still hot water left for me to shower in). Then lets say, hypothetically again, that everyday you insist you “just got in”(when really you and I both know you didn’t JUST get in), and everyday, every single day, after your mother has grown tired of listening to the family’s hot water supply, not to mention the water supply of the perpetually drought stricken southwestern region of the United States, run down the drain for 20 minutes, she gently knocks on the door (because she knows how sensitive you are in the mornings) to remind you that you are not an only child and that your siblings might not love taking a cold shower-- why oh why- I really want to know- do you say  "WHAAAT!?”? And, when your mother says “Hey, you need to get out of there” (like you didn’t see that coming) do you reply “I KNOWWWWW!!! You tell me this everyday!”? Everyday? Really? If someone told me the same thing EVERYDAY I think I would get sick of it, so sick maybe that I would shorten the length of my shower, just to spite them. But that’s just me, I’m small like that.

Is this a strategy, a well thought out plan, a torture technique used by secret agents, (which you may or may not be, I haven’t decided yet) to try to crush my spirit? When you have succeeded in making me lose my mind what are your diabolical plans? Will you never eat your vegetables again? Will you never be home on time again? Will you finally tell your Spanish teacher what you really think of her? Will you wear the same socks everyday for a week? Will you park your bike in the living room? I’m just wondering, I’m so very near the deep end, before I jump I would love to know what pleasures you will seek in my absence.

6 comments:

Heidi Ashworth said...

Ummm, how did my 14 year old daughter get in YOUR house? (I have to admit, I am so tired of the "I KNOW!--clearly she DOESN'T!)

Homer and Queen said...

Do you live with me??? Is there a secret school they all go to? Was this in the mother manual?

Kerrilyn said...

This is the first time I have commented on your site, but I must say, I am glad to know someone else has the same problem with showers. Just yesterday I went down and said to my two darlings 'I hope you guys had nice hot showers' and both of them say 'It wasn't THAT hot'. Yeah.....right.....I suppose the family ghost had an EXTREMELY hot shower then and I suppose their 20 minute showers were really only 10.
TEENAGERS.....it's why some mammals eat their young!!!

Happy cold showering!!

Cheryle said...

This made me laugh out loud - and brought back one particular memory.

My middle son would shower until there was not one drop of hot water left. He always swore it was the fault of the hot water heater, never mind that the other four of us could shower comfortably as long as we got there before him.

Home from college, family going out, middle child luxuriating in hot shower. Dad goes to the garage and turns off the hot water! Ten minutes later, middle son emerges, dad says, "Didn't you notice the hot water was gone?" Son says, "Dad, I'm in COLLEGE! There's NEVER any hot water left when I shower, so it seemed normal to me."

Maybe it's just the luxury of being alone, showering, letting the world (and the hot water) fade away...

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Have you tried flushing the toilet? Not that I would do that :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha ha

We do baths.

 
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