Friday, February 27, 2009

Then there was this one time when I opened my big mouth

All the way home I kept thinking that I should have never gone out last night. I knew I was feeling a little “off”, but I thought going to book group would be just the thing I needed.

Why? Why can’t I ever just be quiet? Or at least think for one moment before I speak? I’m a fairly nice person. At least I think I am. I will admit I say dumb stuff, and not everyone gets my sense of humor, I’m used to that. I still find myself often wishing I weren’t such a big mouth but generally I don’t mean any harm.

Last night, to my entire book group, I expressed my strong dislike for a former member. Someone who stopped coming and now would like to start coming again. I didn’t even realize I had such intense feelings about this person. And I didn’t even try to mask them with humor which I normally would have tried to do, I didn’t think. I was already having a bad day and I just sort of let it flow. I don’t think I said anything vicious or malicious, but I wasn’t nice. When I was done, an awkward silence fell over the table. A painfully awkward silence.

Now I feel horrible. I didn’t say anything untrue, or gossipy, or that I wouldn’t say to this person, but I hate that I went too far.

Should I apologize to my book group friends for being so …..whatever? Or would that make it worse?


gramee said...

i always find myself in the same position because i am quick to speak my mind, and am passionate about my feelings.

{ IF} it were me i would e-mail the group and tell them maybe the group was the wrong place to voice my feelings about this person and i am sorry if i offended anyone.

Becky said...

Unfortunately, I do this all the time. The thing that works the best for me is to apologize, tell people I was inappropriate, and try harder the next time. Whatever you decide to do, don't fall into the trap of making excuses for your behavior. Please trust me on this. It's a slippery slope and it gets me in even bigger trouble!! Apologize, and leave it at that.

Todd said...

Try this:

"Hey everybody, I'm sooo sorry that I can't keep my big mouth shut, BUT you know how I am. AND you all know how So-and-so is anyway. It's not like I said anything that you all weren't already thinking. Stop looking at me like that! Do you want me to scratch your eyes out?!"

Or something like that.

wesley's mom said...

Okay, I sent an e-mail to those poor souls in attendance last night, no excuses, just sorry for being a loud mouth, and I felt better almost as soon as I clicked the send button.

Thanks for the advice...Especially you Todd. I think you really have your finger on the pulse of my book group, lets face it, women in general. thanks!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh me. Oh my. Oh dear. I have been so thoroughly punished for the stupid things I say, I have pretty much stopped saying them. It's a huge relief!

wesley's mom said...

Heidi, how on earth did you get yourself to stop saying things? I have sworn to myself over and over that "this time I will not say a word", but just like that guy in Fargo, I can't seem to shut up. Ever.

::Jan:: said...

This is the reason social events like that make me crazy. I go home and beat myself up over what I might have said. I pretty much don't say much anymore out of the fear you are facing right now.

I think that you will do the right thing. You are just a nice person that had something on your mind. Nothing wrong with that :) A hug and a little I am sorry works wonders.