Friday, February 27, 2009

Then there was this one time when I opened my big mouth

All the way home I kept thinking that I should have never gone out last night. I knew I was feeling a little “off”, but I thought going to book group would be just the thing I needed.

Why? Why can’t I ever just be quiet? Or at least think for one moment before I speak? I’m a fairly nice person. At least I think I am. I will admit I say dumb stuff, and not everyone gets my sense of humor, I’m used to that. I still find myself often wishing I weren’t such a big mouth but generally I don’t mean any harm.

Last night, to my entire book group, I expressed my strong dislike for a former member. Someone who stopped coming and now would like to start coming again. I didn’t even realize I had such intense feelings about this person. And I didn’t even try to mask them with humor which I normally would have tried to do, I didn’t think. I was already having a bad day and I just sort of let it flow. I don’t think I said anything vicious or malicious, but I wasn’t nice. When I was done, an awkward silence fell over the table. A painfully awkward silence.

Now I feel horrible. I didn’t say anything untrue, or gossipy, or that I wouldn’t say to this person, but I hate that I went too far.

Should I apologize to my book group friends for being so …..whatever? Or would that make it worse?

My husband thinks I make too much of things

But what does he know?

Yesterday was a bad day, it started off with that e-mail letting me know that my dad had in fact remarried, which for some reason hit me kind of hard.

He lives and works in Germany and our contact is mainly through e-mail so the actual e-mail aspect of it wasn’t a surprise. The e-mails arriving in such a staggered fashion was a little weird. One brother on Tuesday, another on Thursday, mine on Friday. We all talk, so there was kind of an “Oh, no, he didn’t tell me yet” moment. Then there was the way he was almost casual about it, “By the way….”. But like one of my friends reminded me yesterday, he is a man.

The real reason I felt like I did (do) is because inside I am still 10 years old and I am afraid a new wife means I will be getting less e-mail from my dad.

My father’s second wife died last spring. She’d had a myriad of health problems (you don’t even want to get me started on her emotional problems) for their entire marriage, so it wasn’t completely unexpected, still…. it was one of those things you logically know could happen, but you doubt if it ever will, mostly because she was your typical Disney style step-mom, and I have been waiting on pins and needles for her to steal my voice or bring over some bad apples so my prince charming could rush in and save the day.

She and I didn’t have a relationship. There was a time when I might have said we didn’t have a good relationship, but over the years it just became nothing. In the beginning, before she had my dad securely hooked, things were okay between us, but it was so long ago it’s hard to remember clearly just how okay they were. I was a teenager with abandonment issues back then and she was a grown up with a credit card trying to buy my affection. Not really a surprise that things didn’t work out so well.

I blamed her for the choices my dad made, and he let me. I hated her for a long time because she wouldn’t “allow” my dad to see us, and because I felt like she took him from us. Of course that was dumb. He made his choices and he was never really invested enough in his relationships with any of us.

I made her his excuse and now I am frightened, because deep down I’ve known all along that it was his choice, and now there is NO EXCUSE so when he doesn’t call it will be because I’m not enough. Because I'm 10, the universe revolves around me me me!

Since she died he has called and e-mailed and said all of the right things. He’s been repentant and has seemed to really want to be involved with my brothers and me. He’s assured us that things are different now. He’s promised that he will not drop out of our lives again. For some stupid reason that means a lot to me and I desperately want it to be true.

Over the last couple of months the contact has slowed a little, he told us there was a woman he’s had his eye on. He’s been pretty open about the fact that he likes her and she spent Christmas with him over there. I’m glad he has someone. I know he’s lonely and I know that the last few years with my step-mother were hard on him. I’m trying to be happy for him, but inside I’m 10 years old. His new wife was a friend of my step-mother, that’s how he knows her. To be honest, that is making me just a tch nervous.

Thanks for listening, the bottom line is I’ll get over it. I’m just feeling a little raw right now.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

A few things that seem random…..

…. but are actually tied together with a length of heavy duty invisible fishing line.

When magazines or the Today show or heaven help me, Oprah, offer to help us get “Red Carpet Looks for Less”, who is their target audience? Because I don’t often find myself in need of a Red Carpet Look, and by often I mean NEVER, but if I were going to be on a Red Carpet I would just do what the rest of superstars do. Forget getting it for less, I would borrow it from the designer, which is called getting it for FREE.

Speaking of saving a buck. I heard someone say that they were going to stock up on Forever Stamps. How does that work? How many forever stamps does one have to buy so that they feel like they can sleep at night secure in the knowledge that they won’t be spending 2 more cents every time they mail a letter? And am I missing something because stamp hoarding is not even something is on my list of things I wish I had time to worry about?

Is it rotten or just kind of pathetic that when my daughter woke up with the stomach flu yesterday I was a little happy because it meant I could legitimately reschedule half of the things on my too full schedule?

Does anyone have etiquette advice for this situation? Say your father gets married again (3rd times the charm), and he sends you an e-mail to let you know, but it’s too late because someone else already let you know because they got their e-mail first (if, by the way, e-mail is the method you are using to pass this information along to your children, you might try sending them all an e-mail AT THE SAME TIME, you know, to avoid confusion.) how do you respond? In kind, just dash off an e-mail of congratulations? A card? Heartfelt letter? Please don’t say with a gift, I don’t think I have it in me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I don’t consider myself a dog person per se. But I wouldn’t say I’m not a dog person, I like dogs. I like them just fine, but I want a low maintenance easy going dog who doesn’t suffer from separation anxiety. I don’t need anything fancy, just a dog that won’t eat my sofa while I’m at the grocery store.

Turns out some people want a whole lot more from their dogs. Turns out some people want little Calvin Klein dogs. They want little Tory Burch pooches. They want – “Designer Dogs!!”

As usual I’m the last to find out about all things trendy. This designer dog business has apparently been going on behind my back for quite a while. These dogs, hybrid breeds, are a mix of a couple breeds, and there’s MATH involved in figuring out how to get all the good stuff from each parent and not so much of the not so good stuff. The formula looks vaguely like something I may or may not have studied once upon a time in biology. Something that is all a blur to me now because I was all swoony over my lab partner, the dreamy Kevin Snyder, who was a senior, and I had no idea at the time that this information might come in handy some day for pet selection, besides, if I recall correctly (and what are the odds of that, really?) all of our examples involved sheep (it was Kentucky after all). Who knew?

Anyway, most of these hybrids have names that end in poo or doodle, for the record, that alone would keep me from ever owning one.

Here’s what I really want to know. Back in the olden days if my poodle got out and hooked up with the golden retriever down the street the offspring would have been called a “mixed breed” which used to be a fancy name for mutt, and would have made them less desirable, right? But now, if my poodle gets out and hooks up with ANY dog in the neighborhood, we can just make up a name that has “oodle” on the end of it and people will be beating down my door to get their hands on the puppies. Does that pretty much cover it?

Am I the only one that thinks some people have way too much time on their hands? (Says the woman who just spent an hour writing about dogs whose names end in poo.) Or could I just be jealous because I am not ingenious enough to think up a scam like this? Maybe I am just nostalgic for the old days when people wore Levis and drank tap water and biology was used for important stuff.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Not that I'm trying to one up anybody or anything

Over here, Crash wrote about how her son brought her to tears when he, a boy who doesn't even like books, asked if he could read a passage from a book, to her and her husband. Well, in an amazing stroke of coincidence, not long after reading her post, MY SON did something that brought tears to my eyes.

Get this.

I was passing through the kitchen and I could have sworn that I heard the washing machine running, which was odd because I had neither started it myself nor nagged anyone else to start it. So I says-"Hey, is someone doing laundry?" --here's the part you aren't going to believe, get your tissues ready--my son replies "Yeah, I just threw in a load of towels."

Did you hear that? Towels! Not one solitary pair of pants that he really wants to wear tomorrow, not his lucky socks, not even the shirt that he borrowed from a friend and needs to waste 75 gallons of water to wash alone because heaven forbid it touch the rest of the laundry, but towels. Just because. I'm getting a little mitzy eyed just thinking about it.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's not enough for me to just offend my friends and family

….I’d like offend a few strangers too, what the heck, maybe an entire state.

So, the other night I was perusing the Blogger profiles of bloggers from Kentucky, because I don’t have anything better to do, besides, I spent many a formative year there and my thinking was that maybe I would run across someone I used to know and since I have such a way with people and so much time on my hands I decided to take a look (yes................. I know that is what facebook is for. Duh. I’m not getting sucked into that time wasting vortex, what do I look like?)

Turns out I didn’t have any luck “reuniting”, but I did learn some interesting things about bloggers from Ky. Things I know you too are dying to know.

1. People in Kentucky don’t age well. All of the bloggers my age (40, how could you forget?) looked really old. Either they are not using night cream or they are lying about their ages, something I never would have suspected my friends in the Bluegrass state would stoop to, except that recently I was told that on those dating sites you have to say you are 40 or younger if you hope to get a reply (you spring your real age on them after they are hooked), so maybe it’s the same with bloggers. Anyway, none of that matters. The important thing is that, for a 40 year old woman, I’m holding up really well. Thank heavens I didn’t stay in Kentucky, who knows how things might have turned out.
2. People in Kentucky are mainly interested in a couple of things. Religion and hunting. Some of them are interested in both. I have to admit, I saw that coming.
3. There are quite a few Kentuckians with blogs dedicated to sheep. Raising them, shearing them, making sweaters the old fashioned way, whatever that means. Makes you pause for a second, doesn’t it?

That’s about it. I was going to finish that post about the puppies, but I’m just too mentally and physically exhausted.

Both at the same time.

Thank heavens for spell check.

*Edited to add-I am totally joking about the aging thing, and if you saw my unretouched glamour shots you would see that I am aging just as poorly as everyone else. --I do, however, stand by the sheep thing being a little weird.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Anyone feel like they can back me up here?

I think I’ve mentioned before that my husband likes to hang on to things. Especially if they are “well made” and could come in handy in 20 or 30 years.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to tell you a story.

When we were dating Sylvan had this great stereo. He had spared no expense. It was fancy for those days, 5 CD carousel. Mmmm. I knew I had hit the jackpot.

We married and merged our cool stuff, his stereo and my large wardrobe, which consisted of the entire spring and summer lines from both The Limited and The Limited Express. Oh, I also had a really big bottle of Obsession; it looked great on our bathroom counter next to his really big bottle of Claiborne for Men.

We had it all, we looked good, our tunes sounded great, and our scents were in perfect 90’s harmony.

Then we up and had some kids. Then those kids up and learned to walk. Before you knew it they were carrying sharp objects around and had figured out a way to pry the covers off of the speakers and started poking the innards and just generally disregarding the importance of good sound quality. Those were dark days.

It wasn’t too long before the carousel stopped working and the whole stereo was put on a shelf in the garage until it could be repaired, because “That’s an expensive stereo, we aren’t just going to throw it away!!” 8 years and 4 moves later that stereo “accidentally" fell into a garbage can on it’s way to the moving van. I wish I could tell you it was that easy to get rid of those speakers.
They currently serve as nightstands for Sylvan and I. Here's mine.
Here's Sylvan's. If you look closely....

....you can see some of the damage our deranged toddlers inflicted all those years ago.

These speakers do not work and they are 20 years old.

We are considering moving. Our new bedroom will not be as spacious as our current bedroom. In fact the whole house is a little smaller, so I suggested that maybe since we are going to have to scale down, this would be the ideal time to release our old speakers to landfill heaven. After all they have served us well, and for much longer than any speakers should be expected to.
But he's not having it. At the mere suggestion Sylvan launched right into his "You can't just go out and buy stuff like that anymore! Those were expensive speakers!!" rant. Is he right? I don't know anything about speakers, I'm willing to admit that, but these two seem pretty bad off to me AND (I hope I'm not struck down for being so worldly) I would really like one of those nifty nightstands, the ones that don't make you feel like you dug them out of a dumpster every time you see them, and greedy as it is, I'd give anything for a drawer. Just one little drawer, is that too much to ask?

Monday, February 16, 2009

You guys, I am so glad Valentines Day is over.

I have a million things I need to chat with you about.

Like “designer dogs”. Isn’t a labradoodle or a puggle or chiweenie…………….just a mutt? Help me out.

Which is worse, physical exhaustion, or mental exhaustion? What if you are both?

Who would make a better fake boyfriend, Jon Stewart or Daniel Craig?

When a friend is having a hard time, is it better to open your big mouth or should you just listen and nod?

All this and more (maybe), this week, right here. Don’t touch that dial. I’m so over those empty music video posts. It’s time to talk about important things. Like dogs and imaginary boyfriends.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Whatcha got for me?

If Sunday is a day of rest why do I feel so tired at the end of it week after week?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines Day!

It's too bad that by the last day I am a little tired of all the love. So, for what it's worth, I give you our number one picks-

There were technical difficulties with the voting booth. Just vote in the comments, and while you're at it, tell me what your favorite "relationship song" is.


Friday, February 13, 2009

It's a valentine from Jon Stewart

I love it when my favorite "News Man" makes fun of my least favorite "News Loser"

There's more than one way to say I love you

And I think we've just about covered them all. I want you to know that I have learned a very valuable lesson from this countdown. 10 days is a little bit too long to try to keep a theme exciting. Bear with me, we are at song number two, tomorrow the greatest "relationship" songs of all time. I know you are beside yourselves with anticipation. Rightly so, I might add.

and I quote "He may not look like much, but it's a great song."

Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Thursday, February 12, 2009

You know I how I hate to point out the flaws of others...

...but what in the world is going on here?

Who would have guessed that this could be topped?

We aren't going to vote on who's the bigger weirdo, because that wouldn't be nice, --or possible. But lets do discuss, shall we?

Give it up for some 80's love

It was such a cheery decade.

The Cure - Love Song

Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Don't pretend you didn't see this coming

There really was no other choice. It’s Wednesday.

Phil's hair is looking so HOT in this video.

Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

At the risk of seeming overly dramatic

Valentines Day is ruining my life y’all. I mean, the countdown is great fun to be sure but, everyday? What was I thinking?

Firstly (don’t you think “firstly” is a great word?), there are important things going on in my life that I really don’t know if I can face without the wisdom of the internet, but those will have to wait until tomorrow because B, I need some fashion advice.
I have a confession to make, I’m not glamorous. I know you probably thought I was, because of my classic writing style and my love of the finer things, but I feel like it’s time to come clean. I know a couple glamour girls, but I’m not one of them.

This is my favorite outfit.

Why are you laughing? I think the shoes really pull the whole look together.
Would you be completely mortified if you were my child and I showed up at your school dressed like this? Me neither, but the word on the street (and around our house) is that my children would.

Maybe if I told you why I love this outfit so much it would help. The shirt, best Christmas gift EVER, a custom design, it says “Lunt Brothers Demolition”, our last name is Lunt and we have four sons. My favorite brother and favorite sister-in-law (how lucky is it that they are married to each other? What are the odds of my two favorites ending up together? Now there’s a Valentine’s story for you), anyway, they had the shirts made for our entire family a few years ago. The skirt, well it’s like wearing a really soft blanket, what’s not to love?

Look, at least I didn’t go all Mary-Kate and Ashley on them, sometimes I finish this outfit off with long “sweater coat”. My kids should be counting their lucky stars that it was a warm day. Here's what I want to know, do you wear what you like, or do you dress with consideration to those who have to look at you all day?

Does anyone else remember the scene in Postcards From the Edge when Meryl Streep is telling Shirley MacLaine how she was so embarrassed that time at her birthday party when Shirley's skirt came up in front of everyone, and Shirley asks what's the big deal, so Meryl says "You weren't wearing any underwear!" to which Shirley replies "Welllll!!"? At least I've never done anything like THAT. Come to think of it, maybe we should rent Postcards From the Edge, it wouldn't hurt my kids to see that things could always be worse!

The hits just keep on comin'

I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about these little gems.

Get This - Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Monday, February 9, 2009

A wonderland of desire

I crack myself up.

My top 10 song list is made and the rest is waiting to be unveiled, now I want to know, what are your favorite love songs and why? Do they remind you of an old romance, or a current one? Was it was your first slow dance? Does it just have a funky beat? Share the love.
If you can guess the number one song I am besotted (I love that word) with this year (because, like the wind, you never know what songs I will be in love with next year, or even next week) I will send you a mix tape (okay, you twisted my arm, a CD). All guessing ends at midnight on the 13th, EVERY SINGLE correct guesser gets a CD.

A little pre-op Kenny Rogers.

Kenny Rogers Morning Desire Music via Noolmusic.com

John Mayer - Your Body Is A Wonderland With Url via Noolmusic.com

Get This - Survey Results - GlowDay.com

My list so far-
All you need is love-The Beatles
Friday I'm in love-The Cure
Let's do it-Alanis Morriset
Easy Silence-The Dixie Chicks
Your body is a wonderland-John Mayer


Sunday, February 8, 2009

why oh why???

Yeah, so I get this great idea to be the Dick Clark of love and I think I’m brilliant. Ten days worth of posts in the bag. No worrying about bloggers block and all that silly business. Then do you want to know what happened? Of course you do. I came up with about 20 things to write about. It’s like a curse, because some of them are “time sensitive” if you know what I mean, I really don’t know what to do. Double post? Extra long posts that don’t flow? Ignore the steady flow of fantastic ideas? Not a chance!

Speaking of brilliant ideas, yesterday I gathered some supplies and began handcrafting my valentines.
I don’t mind telling you, they are turning out super cute.

Here I burnt the edges of the white paper with a lighter. Genius, eh?

Inside I just stamped one little heart.

Thanks to Three Wheels Design and Pretty Messes where I got my valentine downloads.

Halfway to the big day

The videos aren't so great today, but we've made up for it with really good songs.

Survey Results - GlowDay.com


Saturday, February 7, 2009

Friday, February 6, 2009

Ding Ding! We have a winner!

Thanks to your valuable valentine input, I have decided to go with cards #2 and #3. I couldn't settle on just one. I think those two are sufficiently unmushy, and I must be honest and tell you i carry your heart with me is one of my favorite poems, it makes me cry, so I was sort of leaning that way from the start.

And now, the winner of the printable valentines is -
Commenter #4-AuBien
(I went to Random.org to pick a #, but I'm not savvy enough to copy their little thing and put it in a post)

Congradulations!! Here’s what you need to do now. Go to Etsy, search for printable valentines, e-mail (salunt@cox.net) me and tell me which one you want, I will pay for it and have the PDF file sent right to your inbox. Ta Da!

Coming in at #9 on the Countdown O’ Love----

Thursday, February 5, 2009

1, 2, 3...............

1. You can see a picture of Jack Johnson's underwear, here.

2. You can help my sister-in-law prove she has great taste in "relationship" songs, here.

3. For a few more hours you can leave a comment, here, for a chance to win some free valentines.

Without love you might fall to pieces

Speaking of love, John Mayer is on twitter. Who knew? Now we can be best friends.

On to other less important matters.

My original plan was for the next 10 days to post a video (or a link to a video) of my favorite “relationship” songs. Just like Casey Kasem, or Dick Clark, or MTV, or the Count on Sesame Street (does he still do that old lightening and thunder trick?) counting down to the big day. My songs are not all romantic or sweet, because that’s not me. They are however catchy and clever, and a little sexy—just like me. Stop laughing.

Then, because I was sooo thrilled with my plan, I shared it with my husband, who immediately started mocking my list and telling me all of the songs that should have been on my list but weren’t. OOOOH! Men!!

Now there’s a new plan. In the true spirit of love, we are going to have a competion. For the next 10 days I will post 2 videos. One will be Sylvan’s idea of a “relationship” song and the other will be a good one- mine. It’s still a count down, now it’s just a double count down with the option to vote. Bonus!!

At the bottom of each post I have set up a little voting booth where you can vote for the song you think says SWAK best.


Survey Results - GlowDay.com

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Just a couple of quick things- If you haven’t already voted on a valentine and entered your name to win your very own printable valentines, what are you waiting for?


Done? Thanks, I need all the help I can get.

Little Brown Pen has a couple of cute and free valentine printables on their blog, and in their Etsy shop they have more super cute printable valentines (as well as other very cute printable stationary) for sale. Check them out. Also, they have just moved to Paris and have been posting pictures of their day to day on their blog……it’s divine, which is a word I never use but have dusted off today because it is completely appropriate.

I’m not really a mushy sentimental type, but I do love Love. And pink candy. So….I’m going to celebrate amour for the next 10 days. The party starts in the morning. Who wants to bring me some cupcakes?


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

You are never going to believe this.

Okay, I know you all know that the most delicious Runt of all is the strawberry, right? Everyone picks them out, then they eat the banana, and then the orange and finally all you are left with is a pile of limes and cherries that no one really wants to eat, but eventually they do because candy is still candy, even if it tastes like cherry. Well, this very day I was at the store and I found, in the Valentine's candy section, a bag full of, you guessed it, strawberry runts. Just the strawberry, because not only are they the most tasty, they are also pink and heart shaped. A gift of love from Willy Wonka. I did not see that coming.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Help me share the love

I've found all of these adorable printable valentines on Etsy. Help me decide. Here's the deal. You vote. In 3 days I'll have some kind of unbiased random drawing and I'll let you go to Etsy and chose your own printable valentine. On me! 1. walk the plank my love

2. my heart beats for you
3.i love technology
There will be no silly Hannah Montana Valentines from me this year. No matter how much you beg.
Come on vote. But please, only once.
*Voting will end Thursday-the 5th -at midnight. The winner will be announced Friday morning.

Sunday, February 1, 2009