Wednesday, December 10, 2008

There’s more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking…

….and I have a feeling one poor teenage boy is finding that out the hard way as he walks the halls of school this week in his new look.

My son has a friend, Tad, who has a big mop of curly hair, it’s bouncy, or it was anyway. Two nights ago, our son, Edge, who is not a licensed stylist (or any other kind of stylist for that matter) offered to shave Tad’s head. Considering the fact that our son has zero experience in that area I was interested to see the events play out. Let’s just say it was, um, entertaining.

The victim arrived with his bushy head of hair (think Carrot Top, but not orange and without the crazy eyebrows) excited by the prospect of hairstyles heretofore unknown. The two of them proceeded to the back yard where our son had set up his salon; the family hair clippers, a pair of left handed kindergarten scissors (he is left handed after all), a comb (like the ones they give you on picture day) missing a few teeth, a kitchen stool, and a garbage bag with a hole ripped in the bottom for Tad to “drape” over himself.

On a side note: One thing I’ve noticed about boys is no matter how old they are the best adventures still take place in the back yard. In the last year we’ve had fires, forts, gun battles, Mentos explosions, silly string, barbequed Totino’s pizza, and now a salon.

Edge began by cutting some of the length off with the scissors, you know “so the clippers don’t have to do all the work”. I could hear our daughter asking Tad if he was really going to let her brother shave off ALL of his hair, which was answered with a nervous little laugh and “well, not shave exactly”. By this time though, it was too late to ask for testimonials from former clients, the makeover had begun, nothing could be done but wait for the results. Poor kid, he must have been having second thoughts as the younger brother and sister gathered around to watch and ask questions, not to mention saying things like “Wow, did you see that big hunk he just chopped off?” To Tad's credit his lower lip never quivered, he has a cheery disposition for sure.

After they had been at it for about 10 minutes I ventured out to see how it was going. It was going hilariously. For starters, the boy was wearing a kitchen garbage bag, which was about 3 sizes too small, it looked like a plastic straight jacket, which is what I would have needed to be restrained in before I let my son go at my head with scissors and clippers. But hey, I’m not seventeen; I guess I have gained a little wisdom in my 40 years. I tried not to laugh, well, I tried not to let them see me laughing-much.

Tad (cautiously) – “I’m not sure how short it’s supposed to be on the sides.”

Edge –“Dude, it’s already pretty short.”

This is an exchange that would only take place between boys. You would never find two seventeen year old girls in the back yard chopping each other’s hair off without very specific instructions and full knowledge of the consequences if things went badly, not to mention an oath signed in blood that if the styling went south being BFFs would never be an option again. Not boys. They’re all “dude, you didn’t say how short you wanted it” and “man, do I have to wear this garbage bag?” and “wow, your hair is a lot thicker than it looks” and “ouch!”.

Me (unable to control my uncontrollable laughter)-“Bwahh hahahaha! You know he doesn’t cut his own hair right?”

Edge (annoyed)-“Do you want to do it?”

Tad (meekly)-“Would you?”

I’m no professional either but I couldn’t, in good conscience, let the tragedy unfold without least making some effort to rescue what was left of Tads locks. I gave him the same haircut I used to give our boys when they were young, short all around with a little to comb over on top, I didn’t really have many options after the Demon Barber of Mesa had his way with things.

Tad seemed pleased with his look. Like I said, he has a cheery disposition. Thank goodness.


Ward and June said...

I can't say that I've never been involved in a similiar situation.
I can say that sobriety was never a factor in those choices.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee. So funny. Been there, done that.

So true about the back yard.

I'm so happy you loved Eat Pray Love too. I knew we were kindred spirits.

I hope you're feeling better.

Funny Farmer said...

I was restraining the LOL-ing until the plastic strait jacket. Then I lost it. I could totally see the image in my mind's eye.

Great story!

Cheryle said...

Aren't boys weird? I haven't changed my mind about that since I was a teenager - despite having raised three of them and having four grandsons.

But I still think they're great entertainment. They do think of the oddest things to do and they're nearly always very laid back (or maniacally excited) about the results.

I do love 'em.

Coco said...

Hi I found your blog through BSU.

That is too funny. And I can see it all play out in my head!

So nice of you to step in and help.