Monday, December 1, 2008

I find it best to kick the holidays off with a good old fashioned meltdown, don't you?

Let it be known throughout all the land that I am the queen of unrealistic expectations.
Lord have mercy on my soul it’s true. I have no concept of how many things can actually be accomplished in a day. You would think the fact that I have NEVER finished everything on my list would be a clue, but you would be so wrong. So very wrong.

As always I began the day Thursday optimistically making a list of the things that needed to happen before dinner. As usual my list was too long and sometimes the line between “need” to have done and “want” to have done gets a little blurry for me.

We had planned to eat at our house but a couple of our kids got the flu so we moved dinner to my brother’s house which meant technically I didn’t even have to dust anything before we ate. If you think I fell for that trick- HA! You don’t know me very well.

I decided that since I was going shopping on Friday and now I had extra time because we were eating somewhere else I could add a few things to my list. Don’t bother asking why I would assume I had more time, I was still cooking the same amount of food and now I had to have it ready and transported to my brother’s house an hour earlier than we had planned to eat at our house, AND two of our children were not feeling fabulous, but somehow I decided that Thanksgiving day would be a great time to check a few things off that I had been meaning to get to.

I don’t think it will surprise anyone to find out that I ended up near tears when I almost forgot to do my hair because I was so busy working on my "chores", and when my husband told me I should just enjoy the day and try to not worry about the fact that my serving dishes didn’t compliment each other (he wanted to leave the food in the pans—THE PANS!! Have you ever heard such nonsense, on Thanksgiving of all days?!!) well, I almost had a breakdown.

Fortunately I was able to see reason just in the nick of time, through the guiding hand of a Diet Mountain Dew and half a box of Candy Cane Joe Joes, I found solace and pulled my sorry self together. (I actually think those Joe Joes contain a little crushed valium along with the pieces of crushed candy cane. It’s a combination that honestly can’t be beat.)

We ended up having a lovely day. I’d like to think my matching bowls made all the difference, but I’m not THAT delusional.


Becky said...

So where can I get me some Candy Cane Jo Joes (I've never heard of them)? Hook me up, lady!

wesley's mom said...

The cookies are from Trader Joes. Do you have them in Alaska?

myimaginaryblog said...

I followed a link at CTD to get here -- the old fashioned meltdown part of the title drew me in. It's so true.

I think I'm a lot like you, only less high-functioning. (I'm basing this only on the one post, of course.)

I think I could have had a perfectly nice holiday season and not missed Trader Joe's at all without that evil link. Now my heart can't rest until I try some of those.

Hmm, my word verification is "vistr."

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee. So funny. I am so exactly like that. Except I've never had any Jo Joes and I would go for the Moutain Dew Code Red straight up.

I thought I was the queen of high unrealistic expectations and multi-tasking. Looks like we've got a 3 way tie with me you and our imaginary friend.