Friday, September 26, 2008

Yeah, yesterday was boring.

Today I have some serious issues to discuss, like personalized license plates and the cost of a good meal.

My morning started out so promising. I woke up, the sun was shining. That’s it. Things went down hill from there.

Our oldest son came downstairs “ready” for school wearing a pair of Vans that had a rip in one shoe big enough that if you were going to sell them on E-bay you’d have to call them sandals. So naturally I told him he couldn’t wear them to school, in fact I’d like him to throw them away, which caused him to let me know that he “foolishly assumed his choice in footwear was the ONE thing in his life I would not try to control.” (I should post some pictures of his room so you can see how I have forced him to decorate using the Pottery Barn garage sale line). Who says girls are more dramatic?

Next, I would just like to say that in theory making your children do things like go to school in their pajamas because they got up late, or having them go without lunch because they forgot to take it sounds all wise and parenty, but the reality is I am not sending my daughter to school with a half a bottle of conditioner in her hair because she didn’t have time to rinse it out, even if the reason she didn't have time was because she took too long deciding which pair of sparkly shoes to wear today, and I am not going to sit at home watching Oprah while my kids walk home in 110 degree heat. Call me all the enabling names you want, I’m at peace with it.

Soo, this morning as I took all of my kids to their different schools, because I believe in specialized education, I had an opportunity to observe humanity.

Like the kid who must have a crush on my LATE to school daughter. What else could explain an 8 year old boy saying “Hey Ivy!! You haven’t seen my new lunch box,” he holds it up for her, “it says Control Freak!” --Huh!? Then my ever sensitive daughter with her good smelling hair says “Ugh, he’s so annoying!!” My external voice said “Please remember to be nice to everyone. I bet he just really likes you.” At the same time my internal voice said “Really? Because a man with a Control Freak lunch box could possibly be your soul mate.”

After explaining to the office lady that we do indeed have alarm clocks and I absolutely understand the value of being on time to school, I went to drop my son at the Jr. High, always an adventure.

I try hard not to embarrass my teenagers, having painful memories of my own mother in a mini-skirt at the school carnival, I strive for invisibility. Apparently other parents, not so much. The Suburban in front of me in the drop off lane had these stickers on the back window.

At the wheel was one hot mama. By hot, I mean we live in Arizona and her windows were down, and by mama I mean there were car seats in the back and she was dropping off an 8th grader.

Then I pull up next to a big black Escalade with super shiny rims, their sticker is from the church I assume they attend and their personalized plate says TRSTNJC. It occurs to me that JC might have gone for the budget rims if he were going to drive an Escalade, but what do I know? I just made my son throw away a perfectly good pair of shoes.

Having gotten rid of safely deposited all of my children at school, I go to get my morning refill and am shocked to find that in the last month the cost of my beloved Hostess Lemon Pie has gone up twice and is now 20 cents more than it was in August. It’s getting so you can’t even afford a healthy breakfast anymore. Sheesh!!

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