Wednesday, September 10, 2008

love of life

I just got home from a benefit concert for Stephanie and Christian Nielson. Before the performances began there was a slide show of pictures of the two of them and their family. Many I had seen before on Stephanie’s blog. As I watched I thought of how fortunate their children are to have such a record of their parents. In photo after photo the love they have for each other and the children is visible, but more than that you can almost feel their love of life.

It’s hard to imagine what they and their children and extended family are going through. I have wondered many times how they are bearing the physical and emotional pain of all of this. I would imagine that if it were my family I would be grateful for the support and compassion being shown. I would want to hear how others had been inspired. I would buck up and do what needed to be done, but I would also be sad and angry and wake up every morning hoping it had all been a bad dream.

I don’t like to be photographed. My husband has told me over and over that I am cheating our children. One day, he says, they will want to know why there are no pictures of me. He has even tried to make me feel guilty by telling me that if something happened to me our kids would be left with nothing but memories of their mother. Tonight I really saw that. What a gift Christian and Stephanie have given their children. One of many.

I think I will start letting my kids take my picture, and I will try to be present in the moment with my family, and I will think of motherhood as something I am LUCKY to be able to experience, and I will remember how much I love my husband and maybe even go on a romantic date. It appears to me that Stephanie Nielson didn’t take her family for granted, she made the moments count.

Through their tragedy the Nielsons have given me a gift too, though it seems wrong for my life to be better because of what has happened to theirs.


Ward and June said...

Very touching post, I haven't been following them that closely but it is amazing how the people around them have jumped in for their cause.

I don't care to have my picture taken either but since the twins have been born I have made an effort to take some pictures, especially with the four of us together, MT wanted me to send her a picture of me and Ward from last year and we hadn't taken a single one so when she was here she took one of the two of is to 'pretend' that it was taken last year.

wesley's mom said...

I have read her blog (and her sister's) for at least a year, so it was weird when I heard about the accident. Like it was someone I knew--but also didn't. In a weird stalkerish way. Turns out their house is only about a mile from ours.

Mesa seems like a bigish city but if you grew up here, and especially if you are LDS, it's such a small town. So everyone seems to know them or their extented family. I was amazed at how many people were there last night.

Mitzy is crazy with the camera. She recently told me she was going to take my picture anyway so I might as well be smiling. I'm trying to be better.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

There is nothing better than to have your picture taken to get your but in gear...in my case, weightloss!

But I have also followed their tragedy...and it never ceases to amaze me how much compassion people have out there! :)