Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It's not CNN, but I like it better.

It's been a bad news week, and it's only Tuesday. I'm taking a news break. I have to be honest with you, I have an addiction to current events that makes Amy Winehouse look clean so I don't know how long I am going to be on the wagon, but if I do break down, hopefully I will turn to my favorite reporter, who I consider the to be the most trustworthy of all newsmen.
Jon Stewart.
(You thought I was going to say Dan Rather didn't you?)

Friday, September 26, 2008

And now for something completely different

I happened to notice that I've been a little complainish all week.  Hmm. What's up with that?  It's so unlike me. Just to prove I DO like somethings I thought I'd list a few.

First, I LOVE this, Glitter Gone Bad.  It's hilarious, a collection of "hand crafted" amazingness like I have never seen before. 

I made this for dinner last night and everyone really liked it. Actually, any recipe I've ever made from the Pioneer Woman has been a hit.  I hear she's working on a cookbook, I can't wait to get my hands on that.

The cards here are so fun.  I'm thinking I need a whole box of this one, for my Christmas cards maybe?

These shirts are definetly on my Christmas list-to give and (hopefully) to get!!

Finally, TMZ, I can't help it. Anyone else?

Yeah, yesterday was boring.

Today I have some serious issues to discuss, like personalized license plates and the cost of a good meal.

My morning started out so promising. I woke up, the sun was shining. That’s it. Things went down hill from there.

Our oldest son came downstairs “ready” for school wearing a pair of Vans that had a rip in one shoe big enough that if you were going to sell them on E-bay you’d have to call them sandals. So naturally I told him he couldn’t wear them to school, in fact I’d like him to throw them away, which caused him to let me know that he “foolishly assumed his choice in footwear was the ONE thing in his life I would not try to control.” (I should post some pictures of his room so you can see how I have forced him to decorate using the Pottery Barn garage sale line). Who says girls are more dramatic?

Next, I would just like to say that in theory making your children do things like go to school in their pajamas because they got up late, or having them go without lunch because they forgot to take it sounds all wise and parenty, but the reality is I am not sending my daughter to school with a half a bottle of conditioner in her hair because she didn’t have time to rinse it out, even if the reason she didn't have time was because she took too long deciding which pair of sparkly shoes to wear today, and I am not going to sit at home watching Oprah while my kids walk home in 110 degree heat. Call me all the enabling names you want, I’m at peace with it.

Soo, this morning as I took all of my kids to their different schools, because I believe in specialized education, I had an opportunity to observe humanity.

Like the kid who must have a crush on my LATE to school daughter. What else could explain an 8 year old boy saying “Hey Ivy!! You haven’t seen my new lunch box,” he holds it up for her, “it says Control Freak!” --Huh!? Then my ever sensitive daughter with her good smelling hair says “Ugh, he’s so annoying!!” My external voice said “Please remember to be nice to everyone. I bet he just really likes you.” At the same time my internal voice said “Really? Because a man with a Control Freak lunch box could possibly be your soul mate.”

After explaining to the office lady that we do indeed have alarm clocks and I absolutely understand the value of being on time to school, I went to drop my son at the Jr. High, always an adventure.

I try hard not to embarrass my teenagers, having painful memories of my own mother in a mini-skirt at the school carnival, I strive for invisibility. Apparently other parents, not so much. The Suburban in front of me in the drop off lane had these stickers on the back window.

At the wheel was one hot mama. By hot, I mean we live in Arizona and her windows were down, and by mama I mean there were car seats in the back and she was dropping off an 8th grader.

Then I pull up next to a big black Escalade with super shiny rims, their sticker is from the church I assume they attend and their personalized plate says TRSTNJC. It occurs to me that JC might have gone for the budget rims if he were going to drive an Escalade, but what do I know? I just made my son throw away a perfectly good pair of shoes.

Having gotten rid of safely deposited all of my children at school, I go to get my morning refill and am shocked to find that in the last month the cost of my beloved Hostess Lemon Pie has gone up twice and is now 20 cents more than it was in August. It’s getting so you can’t even afford a healthy breakfast anymore. Sheesh!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Reforming the Voting Process

You know how I hate to talk politics here on ye olde blog but sometimes (like once or twice a week) it can’t be helped. I’ve read a few articles in the last couple of weeks that have me all in frenzy, and that’s never pretty. When I’m not ranting about finance reform and the evils of corporate greed you can probably catch me going on about the voting process. I am sooo much fun at parties!

First I read about these college students in Virginia, then I watched Recount, and yesterday I happened upon this. And this. Go on, read them and come back.

People, is this America? Weren’t we the ones cheering so loudly when the Afghanis got to vote? Isn’t the whole point of an election to choose new leaders in a fair and orderly manner? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Yet here we are, letting a few decide for the many, complaining about the two-party system and the Electoral College. Is it not possible that if some of us took action, if just some of us got involved, we could make a difference?

As voters we MUST push our legislators to come up with an acceptable national voting program. The only way we can have fair elections is if we are ensured that ALL votes are being tabulated in the same manner. Maybe I’m naive but I believe in the country our founding fathers worked so hard to establish and so many others have fought for. I believe in democracy and the constitution. I fear there are a lot of voices not being heard and votes not being counted, that’s not gonna work for me.

You know who does work for me? (allegedly) John McCain, senator from Arizona. What a coincidence, I LIVE in Arizona. I think I’ll drop him a line (or 6 or 10) today. After that I’m going to spend some time checking these guys out.

What do you think?  I'd love to hear it.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's possible I may have mentioned in the past that my husband is a little bit of a worrier. He uses his crystal ball to keep a look out for doom and dismay and when he spots some on the horizon he springs into action. That must be what happened today.

Apparently all of this business with the economy is getting to him. This morning I received a text from him that said-

“wood u find out where I can sell some plasma plz”

To which I replied-who is this?”  Because is he REALLY going to SELL his plasma?  Am I married to a college student?

We are not the Rockefellers by any means, but my husband has a job (and he has even had some EXTRA work lately), I have a job, neither one of us works in finance. We are not the owners of a bad mortgage or a bunch of risky stocks (we are not the owners of any stocks at all for that matter). I have no idea what goes on in his head, but I do know that this is just the kind of hysteria that forces the market into a downward spiral. I should probably go shopping to try to offset some of his hoarding, you know, as a show of patriotism.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Halloween Request

Halloween is just around the corner, I know this because I was at Target this morning. I love Halloween, the costumes, the decorating, and the candy of course, although I will say, I love it more in an understated Martha Stewart kind of way than a 10 foot tall inflatable Homer Simpson dressed as Dracula kind of way. But that’s another topic for another day. Today I have something else on my mind.

As I walked through Target I couldn’t help noticing the costume aisle. That’s where I saw this-
Which brings me to my plea; I am begging you, it’s early, start scheming now, but whatever you do DON’T let your sweet little girl go Trick or Treating dressed as a hooker “dark angel” OR as this version of Little Red Riding Hood.
I have to wonder what people are thinking. Does someone really think it’s cute to have their daughter dressed as this soda shop girl? With those platform shoes and thigh high stockings?!
While I’m at it, one more thing, I don't care how much your pooch likes to dress up, for the love of Jack Skellington do not dress your pet as a HOT DOG!! Really, no one wants to see that.

Monday, September 22, 2008

I don't feel like an old woman

This weekend I was in a car with 3 fifteen year old girls and another woman my age. It was my friend’s car and the girls were some of the Mia Maids from our ward. Looking for some music that would be tolerable to everyone my friend popped in her Immaculate Collection CD. For a few minutes the two of us sang along and reminisced about the olden days and our love of the 80’s. We were carefree laughing, singing, and dancing in our seats. Then we noticed the girls in the backseat weren’t joining us in our sing along.
“What’s wrong,” my friend asked. “don’t you like this music?”
“Who is this anyway?” asked teen #1, not even trying to hide how uncool she thought we were.

Just like that we were slammed back into the reality of our geriatric lives. We're old, no getting around it. I bet that’s how Madonna feels when she sees this-

Be sure to check out the dancers. That is some talent there. I wonder what they're doing now.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Like a tree

It's Friday and I have this song stuck in my head.
What woman wouldn't love to hear that she could be an airhostess in the '60s?  I know that would TOTALLY do it for me.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Sky is Falling

Or is it? By the end of the day yesterday between national and local news reports, endless homework assignments, my dreary dead end job and the undercooked rice we were served for dinner I was starting to think maybe it was going to crash right down on my head.

I decided to go to bed early and end the torture. As I was lying there watching History Detectives (don’t you LOVE that show?) our 10 year old came in to watch with me, he’s convinced we are being conned and that those people aren’t REAL detectives. But he likes to watch anyway. He told me that he wishes he were still a little kid (because he’s all of 10 now, he’ll be moving out any minute) so he could still sleep in our bed. Then he hung out and held my hand and watched as we learned about war time musical productions.

Things must not be as bad as I thought.

This morning I felt better, and even though it has been a busy day, I am not feeling quite as hopeless tonight. I know that things tend to have a way of working out and I am fortunate to be one of those glass half-full kind of gals.

That said, I do know my limits. I’m skipping the quarterly Relief Society dinner tonight. I heard a rumor that there were going to be blindfolds involved—not in a fun Fear Factor kind of way either- and I knew that I would be better served by another night in watching public television.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Just a quick fashion tip

If you are sexy, people will know, you won’t ever have to wear sweatpants that say so on the butt.

I promise.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

love of life

I just got home from a benefit concert for Stephanie and Christian Nielson. Before the performances began there was a slide show of pictures of the two of them and their family. Many I had seen before on Stephanie’s blog. As I watched I thought of how fortunate their children are to have such a record of their parents. In photo after photo the love they have for each other and the children is visible, but more than that you can almost feel their love of life.

It’s hard to imagine what they and their children and extended family are going through. I have wondered many times how they are bearing the physical and emotional pain of all of this. I would imagine that if it were my family I would be grateful for the support and compassion being shown. I would want to hear how others had been inspired. I would buck up and do what needed to be done, but I would also be sad and angry and wake up every morning hoping it had all been a bad dream.

I don’t like to be photographed. My husband has told me over and over that I am cheating our children. One day, he says, they will want to know why there are no pictures of me. He has even tried to make me feel guilty by telling me that if something happened to me our kids would be left with nothing but memories of their mother. Tonight I really saw that. What a gift Christian and Stephanie have given their children. One of many.

I think I will start letting my kids take my picture, and I will try to be present in the moment with my family, and I will think of motherhood as something I am LUCKY to be able to experience, and I will remember how much I love my husband and maybe even go on a romantic date. It appears to me that Stephanie Nielson didn’t take her family for granted, she made the moments count.

Through their tragedy the Nielsons have given me a gift too, though it seems wrong for my life to be better because of what has happened to theirs.

Target Clearance

Cheaper than therapy and quite possibly more effective.

Maybe I am that crazy.

Have you ever been going along-tra la la-thinking you’re not THAT crazy, then you go to a new shrink therapist for the first time and she asks you to tell her about your life, from birth to today? So, you give her the benefit of the doubt, I mean she is the shrink therapist after all, and instead of saying “Lady, that’s gonna take way more than an hour!” you politely begin to tell your story. Everything goes along fine until you are about all of about 6 years old then it becomes soo obvious why you need a shrink therapist in the first place and pretty soon the time is up and you feel a whole lot worse about things than you did an hour ago?

Yeah, me neither, but that would really suck if something like did happen and if you didn’t even have time to finish so you have to continue your tale of woe next week, yeah, you’d really be looking forward to that.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Maybe next time

To the teenage boy who wanted to race me yesterday on Gilbert Rd.-

You were fast. Really. And you seemed like a happy kid with all of that laughing and gesturing. If traffic hadn’t gotten thick I’m sure you would have beaten me.

Your parents should be so proud of your defensive driving skills.

Thanks for the ego boost.

Yours truly,
The old lady in the crappy truck

p.s. I hope your friend didn’t make too much fun of you when I took the lead.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

What? More politics?

I know, I need to get myself into a political rehab resort or something. Sorry, but I love sarcasm and Jon Stewart as much as I love all of the election drama.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

There's no such thing as a lucky number

My husband can be a bit of a Glum Gus. He’s never seen a glass half-full and can smell bad luck a mile away. He comes by it naturally, from his mother, “Mrs. Have you had that looked at? Because I’m no doctor, but it looks like cancer to me.” She once told her own pregnant daughter who was expressing her excitement about becoming a mother, not to count her chickens before they hatch. Really, she did.

My husband is very much the same way. There is no seeing the brightside of things, no counting our blessings without noting what could go wrong with each one. Every sprained ankle is probably a hairline fracture and every odd noise in the house, car, or coming from a kid is a prediction of a future calamity.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.

We have two AC units. One cools the downstairs, the other, you guessed it, the upstairs. Since no one really goes upstairs during the day, except the cat and she’s on her own, we try to save a buck or two by setting the upstairs thermostat to around 85 during the day. We bump it back down at bedtime and all is well.


Last night for some reason Sad Sal decided that it was hotter than usual up there. It was “taking forever” to cool down. –Did I also mention speed? He NEEDS things to happen instantly. Cooking food, internet connections, people returning his phone calls, he demands ACTION. Lightening fast action.

Opting out of a conversation about the impending demise of our air conditioning unit I gave him a kiss good night and went downstairs to have a smidge of alone time. It was maybe five minutes before my cell phone rang, my husband calling me, FROM UPSTAIRS. “Honey, it’s really hot up here. I just know that AC unit is going out.” --I want to tell you that we live in Arizona where temperatures have started to drop into the autumn range of the LOW HUNDREDS, and only about fifteen minutes had passed since he had adjusted the thermostat and during those fifteen minutes he had been pacing around chanting about how hot it was up there, no doubt he could have worked up a sweat in a 58 degree room.

Drawing on my wells of serenity (just kidding, I have five kids, if I had a well of serenity I would jump in) I calmly told him there was nothing to be done tonight but if he wanted to sleep on the sofa in the frigid downstairs regions he was welcome to do that.

He opted to stay upstairs in the “sauna” but to turn the air down a little more, because “it just doesn’t seem to be pushing out the air like it normally does”.

This morning I felt like Mrs. Claus. It was so cold I am surprised the bathroom pipes didn’t freeze. Looks like I won’t have to spend the day getting a repairman over here. My glass is half full already.