Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Introverted? Me? Nah.

Sunday at church some of my friends were discussing their blogs. They’re all people I like, and people whose company I enjoy. Everyone seems to have a blog, and they all want each other to know about and read theirs. They talked about how fun it is, and how easy it is.

Not me.

I just listened. Silently.

I have even denied blogging to members of my ward. You see, I want to blog; I just don’t want everyone I know to read what I write about. Strangers-the more the merrier. My neighbors-not a chance! I have thoughts and ideas and opinions, I just don’t want anyone I actually know to know what they are. I’ve been mocked before, for my liberal views, or my political opinions and I don’t much feel like being mocked anymore. I don't NEED to be liked. I just WANT to be.

The other day I took this test. I’ve taken it before. The long version, the short version, the trick version with silly questions that don’t seem to have anything to do with personality classifying. The results are always the same. ISFJ. Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. This time I scored 50/50 on the intro/extro-vert portion. It’s a little confusing to me how I can be so confused about my outgoingness. I want to be the life of the party, but when push comes to shove I just don’t want to be judged. (I scored 65% on the judging portion of the personality test, so apparently I don’t have a problem judging others) I really just want to be liked.

A few times I have almost told friends about my secret blogging life, but I worry that the word would leak out, and someone who doesn’t “get” me might find out.

It’s possible I might have some personality characteristics that can’t be narrowed down by some silly Briggs Myers Indicator. Now that whole color thing……


No comments: