Tuesday, July 22, 2008

If my hair starts to fall out, I'm going to be REALLY mad

I was going to keep this to myself, but then my brother told me he doesn’t read my blog anymore so there’s really nothing holding me back. To be honest if he doesn’t read there’s nothing to keep me from leaping off a bridge, his support is just that important to me. Plus he mocked me, on the internet, so he deserves to read about my “female” problems should he happen to stop by.

Here’s the problem. I’m sweaty. Not, like I just ran 6 miles and now I need a shower. Like mini hot flashes. I am not happy about it. Oh yeah, and night sweats. How? How is this happening? How can I be having hot flashes? And I’ve gained 5 pounds AND I have non-stop PMS. I’m not that old. Not even 40 until November. I’m YOUNG!! Why?!

And don’t even give me that “Perimenopause” crap. What is that supposed to mean? “Pre-menopause” is just something people say to ease you into it. Does anyone really think a women with these symtoms wants to hear that it could be up to 8 years before menopause actually begins? It’s not like my menopause is going to go into remission for a few years. It’s just that no one wants to say “full on menopause”, they don’t want to be anywhere near your crazy hormonal reaction to that one. They say “pre” then they back away slowly and run for their lives while it sinks in that you are no spring chicken anymore.

All along I have been fine with turning 40. 40 is good I say. I feel wise, and mature, but in a good way. I like the idea of being 40. What I don’t like is idea, or the actuality of going through menopause. Taking hormones so I’m not wacko, sweating like a pig all night long, and eating Activa yogurt with Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s not my time yet.
*this picture taken from menopause website-it does NOT make me feel better.


Ward and June said...

It just isn't fair.

I meant to ask you yesterday how your phone call with your friend went.

Your brother is so funny.

Lisa said...

But what if there is something in the pre-menopause books that would help your symptoms? Don't dismiss it out of hand without giving it a try.

Two things that might help you: *Chasteberry (tea or extract)
*Progesterone cream

Ward and June said...

First off, even buying a book about pre-menopause means that your ancient. (But that does sound like a good christmas gift idea).

Secondly, I've known you for about 34 of those 40 years now, and I can't remember anytime when you weren't at least a little crazy.

Thirdly, Sweaty??? Did we really need to hear that?

D, do you think that bagboy at FRY's is still gonna think your hot if you come in there all sweaty and cranky. I'm just saying.

Fifth, 40 really isn't that old. It's olny 280 in dog years. You'd be a very wise dog by now.

And who started this rumor that I stopped reading your blog? I'm just to busy to get involved with your crazy friend drama. Especially if it's the crazy friend that I think it is.

Anyway, just try to relax and enjoy menopause. Eight years will be gone before you know it.

wesley's mom said...

Thanks, with you to lean on I should breeze right through all of the unpleasantness.
A. I don't think I could possibly do anything that would detract from my absolute hotness.(Especially now that I am so sweaty)
2.It's not the crazy friend you think it is. She's stuck like glue. Crazy Glue.

wesley's mom said...

Lisa- Thanks for the suggestions. I'll look in to them.

Ward and June said...

Do you think that the sweaty thing could have ANYTHING to do with the fact that you live in the HOTTEST place on the planet?


wesley's mom said...

Don't cross me. My hormones are out of control and I can not be held responsible for my actions.