Wednesday, July 16, 2008

birds and bees

My parents never told me anything about sex, maybe they talked to my brothers. It’s pretty likely because I always suspected they liked them better.

We had this set of books. We didn't read them together or anything. My mom always told her friends how open she was with us, and that the books were there anytime we wanted to read them. She would also tell them that I knew all I had to do was ask her if I wanted to start taking the pill, we were just that close. Except the only place we have ever been that close is in her imagination, and I try really hard to avoid her imagination whenever I can.

No way would I have ever, ever, ever gone to her and said “you know mom, about those pills…” Because despite how much she wanted to appear groovy for her swinging friends, she just didn’t have it in her.

I decided not to put our kids through that. I found another way to scar them. Because really, no matter how “cool” your parents were -or are, or your friend’s parents were, how often do you hear someone say that their folks did it just right? One out of ten? Maybe?

Here’s what we do. I recommend it. What have you got to lose? Your dignity? Ha!

These are the best books EVER for “the talk”.

We started using them when our oldest two were about 11 and 9, I think. Since then we have talked to all of our kids when they turned 8. I’ve heard from several people that they think 8 is too young, but those are usually people whose kids are like 13 and the parents just can't bear to shatter their innocence yet. So sorry to tell you, not like it's a big secret, but by that age either their friends have given them the low down, or you better tell them about Santa while you're at it. If you know what I mean. At 8 they are old enough to understand, but not old enough to be completely embarrassed, or to really get how embarrassed you are.

How to Talk to Your Child about Sex gives you a nice script to follow if you have trouble getting started, and Where Did I Come From is just enough information and funny enough to take the edge off without being too silly.

That’s it. Just in case you were wondering. I'm pretty sure you were.


Ward and June said...

Remind me about these books in about 7.5 years.

Ward and June said...

First: I've never heard of those books that you say your mom had.
Second: Mom thought that it was the right time to have the talk on the night before our wedding.

By the way, from some of the statistics I've heard, by thirteen your kids probably have friends who are having sex, and smoking pot, maybe at the same time.

wesley's mom said...

Eww! She talked to you on your wedding night?

Those books were proudly displayed right next to the Childcraft Childrens Encylopedias. Do you think she could have lost them in transition from one husband to the next? That's why we will never have to have one of those silly belonging auctions with our parents.