Monday, June 30, 2008

It could have been. But...

The Wackness is NOT a movie about my childhood. It’s not about my mother at all.

Now what am I going to call my memoirs?

Get off my back all ready.

So, I know some of you--okay one of you- are (is) wondering when I am going to post something new and captivating and clever. Me too. I have like 6 things in the works, I just can't seem to get it together and make them ready for the public. I think the main issue I'm having is that it's hot here. Really, really hot. Like 115. And I can't focus. The heat is getting to me. I promise, today, it's on my list. Something clever is coming. Soo clever, you'll be shocked at how clever and captivating I am.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Strawberry Chicken Salad

Over at Big Mama everyone is sharing their favorite summer recipe. It's about time. If I offer my kids cereal for dinner one more night there might be an uprising. --The Great Captain Crunch Coup of '08.

I love this recipe. It's easy, only has a few ingredients, and it's good for you(mostly).

Strawberry Chicken Salad

4 Chicken breasts- marinated, grilled and cut into bite sized pieces (I like to marinate mine in Newman's Own House Italian Dressing)
1 Bunch of green leaf lettuce
1 Bunch of red leaf lettuce- both lettuces washed and dried and torn into bite sized pieces.
2 pints of Strawberries- cleaned and sliced
1/2 c sliced almonds-toasted ( You'll be tempted to just throw the almonds in raw, don't, it really makes a difference.)

Toss everything together and add your dressing. We use Litehouse Poppy Seed dressing on ours, but really any sweet dressing will work.

I never get tired of this salad, and even my really picky kids will eat it.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

There's more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking.

Turns out having a sense of humor might not be a good thing when you have kids.

I have always felt a little proud of the way we are open with our kids, and that they are developing similar senses of humor. If they can't have fashion sense at least let them be funny. Once in a while they say something really funny and I am touched, sentimental almost. It’s a fine moment when your child effortlessly tells a good one.

I think my brothers are hilarious, and I love to laugh, don’t ask me where I got it because my parents were not that funny (lots of the crap they pulled could be called a joke, just not the funny kind). If I had to describe our brand of humor I’d call it –dry, subtle, like a nice bottle of wine, or at least a really expensive beer. We see the ridicules around us and we mock it.

But when you hear your 9 year old say-“Look, I’m wearing business socks”, you might be in need of a filter. When your 15 year old doesn’t’ realize that recapping last night’s SNL for the grandparents is a bad idea, you might need to chat about different kinds of funny. When your 8 year old daughter is better at sarcasm than you are, well, maybe you’ve overdone it.

Sarcasm is in my blood. Even my grandparents are sarcastic. I don’t always realize I’m doing it, I open my mouth and snarky comments come out. It’s a gift. One that not everyone has-or gets. I forget that sometimes, and have had to explain my wit to people.

“That was a joke, I was kidding.” * “I do not really think it’s sweet when my mother wears a mini skirt.”

I have also had to make the “morning after” phone calls more than once because I worry that I have offended someone with my “humor”. Is that the legacy I want for my children? I don’t want them going out into the cold dark world telling knock-knock jokes. What do you think? Is it like starting solid foods? Is there an age when you should start, a little at a time, being funny around them? Explaining-“that’s called irony” we’ll be focusing on that skill for the next 3 weeks, then we will add drollness, and follow-up with a lesson on one-liners and witty banter before the holidays, because believe me, nothing makes the holiday season go by more smoothly than some ironic one-liners

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

What's a little mess amoungst family?

A messy house = a cranky mom.

I wish it were not so, but alas, I cannot stand the clutter. Yesterday my daughter told me about her friend’s home that is “really nice, not even messy at all.”

I told her our house could be like that too, if everyone cleaned up their junk.

Her reply-“Well, that’s NEVER gonna happen.”

After I stopped crying (because she is the messiest one of all), I came to the sad realization that she is probably right. I live with the “Messy Family”.

Let me introduce you-

Daddy Messy-Has tons of papers, not quite dirty clothes, and tools lying around. In almost every room you will find a stack of “important” papers that you are not to touch. He wants to be tidy, but I think it’s genetically impossible, his mother is the same way.

Messy Teen Type1- Mostly tidy but lacking the desire to put things in their actual spot. Figuring that near the closet is just as good as in the closet.

Messy Teen Type2- Collects soda bottles, political signs, shoe laces, gum wrappers, bicycle parts, this young man is pretty much Fred Sanford reincarnated.

Messy Teen Type3- Sees no need to make beds or pick up shoes, clothes or books- anything that he might need to touch again in the next 48-72 hours. It’s the old “why make your bed when you are just going to get back in at the end of the day?” argument.

Messy Boy Child- Scatters Legos throughout the house. Like a squirrel, he is obviously afraid he will be caught in the east wing without a Bionicle and a natural disaster will strike. Also has a serious fear of picking towels up off the floor or removing them from the pool area.

The Demandatron- Is like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown. Instead of a cloud of dust and trash she is surrounded by a cloud of Polly Pocket shoes, ponytail holders, the 3 outfits she has worn before noon and small pieces of paper. These things fall randomly from her cloud as she goes from room to room.

I have been told upon requesting a spill be cleaned up that “it was an accident!” this is a little known loophole that absolves the spiller from using a papertowel. I have been told upon asking who got an item out “I did, but he was the last person to touch it!” I have found more milk cartons containing less than a swallow in my fridge than I care to count.

In the grand scheme of things does it matter if our house is a little messy?

I hope not.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It's not too early to start your Christmas shopping!!

Ladies and gentlemen your search for the perfect holiday gift is over. My brother sent me this link a few days ago, and I just can’t it get out of my head. The times when this thing would come in handy are endless.

Have you ever been sitting in a PTO meeting thinking, “I can’t believe I am sitting here for 30 minutes listening to this wench ramble on and on about Box Tops for Education and I’m not even drunk.”? Have you ever been in church dying for a swig of soda and had no means of caffeination? Been shopping in one of those swanky “no food or drink” stores and not been able to partake of some refreshment while you are parting with your cash (or credit or however you do it)?

Those days are over! Never again do you have spend $29.95 for a soda at the movies or the zoo or let some kid drink out of your thirstbuster because you’re too nice to say no. (I’m not the only one who does that, right?). Never again will you hear “That’s a pretty big cup for a little lady like you, does it come with a portapotty?” (Seriously, I’d rather have a fake gut than hear that one ever again.)

With this thing you fill up with your beverage of choice, strap on your belly and enjoy.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Scouting is hard work. No, really, I'm not kidding.

Our boy is a champ.

Last week he went to scout camp. I don’t know how much you know about the boy scouts but they are a very serious bunch. When a challenge is issued they put all of their energy into winning. All that crap about being prepared and loyal and courteous. Sure, prepared to win, loyal to their teammates and courteous to their mothers.

Here’s what happened- A contest was conceived. It was to be a weeding out of the weak. A sending home of the mama’s boys. A “Dirty Contest”. Yep. Imagine it, five boys, between the ages of 12 and 14, all making a pact not to shower for five days, battling to be the dirtiest, smelliest kid in the camp. No easy task, you know if you’ve ever smelled a car load of boys returning from camp. To be The Dirtiest would take some work.

Can you even fathom the sacrifice? Adolescent boys, wearing the same underwear for five days.

I am here today to tell you of our pride and our joy, yes, that’s right, our son was the winner. And I have the socks (the one pair he wore for FIVE days) to prove it.

I can hear you over there saying “Big deal, that’s not a competition, any kid could do that.” I know what you are trying to say, you are trying to say “Wow! What a big deal, that is impressive!” Thanks. We’re proud. The only downside is that there is not a reverse hygiene merit badge, because that truly would have been the icing on the cake or the slime on the pond or something like that.

Friday, June 13, 2008

What's the real story here?

So, Father’s Day.

My kids have a great dad. Really. He works hard to provide for them. He tries hard to know them as individuals. He laughs with them, he cries with them, and sometimes for them. He plays with them and he is teaching them to be good people. Being a good father is the most important thing in the world to him. There really isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. I did a pretty good thing when I picked him.

My husband isn’t the only great father I know. My brothers are all great fathers and I know of at least 3 more on my street (I’m kidding, there are like 7). The point is I know a lot of really good dads.

So why is Father’s Day such a let down? It hardly gets any mention. A new tie here and there, maybe a BBQ, but maybe not, since that’s Dad’s job. (Does he want a day off or a good steak? What if we give him a “King of the Grill” apron?) All in all it’s pretty low key. I feel kind of bad, like he is getting slighted a little bit.

I mean come on, Mother’s Day is huge. There is so much pressure for the kids and the husband to get just the right gift, and present it with a newly penned poem along with breakfast in bed and a day free of stress. Of course it never quite turns out like that, but the pressure is still there, hanging over the entire family all day, like a gray cloud of doom and disappointment. Many a Mother’s Day has been ruined by expectations.

It’s not the only one, Valentines Day, Christmas, anniversaries, Arbor Day. You don’t ever hear Shane Co. commercials encouraging you to by dad a diamond pendant to commemorate the World Series.

But is it a let down? Or are father’s just so secure in their greatness that they don’t need a fancy day?

I got to thinking maybe it’s not that we are neglecting fathers, maybe mothers are getting a bad rap here. Are we perceived as so fragile, so emotionally unstable, so demanding, that without all of the hoopla we would breakdown? Do they think that if we don’t get another handprint memento we would walk off the job? Maybe we moms should be insulted that the entire world thinks we NEED to be patted on the back.

Well, I’m going to use reverse psychology this year. I am going to make the biggest fuss over Father’s Day you’ve ever seen. That’ll show him. I can wreck a day just as well as he can. Even better I bet.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I love this song!

It's The Weepies, from the Sex and the City soundtrack. I couldn't find a video.

The whole soundtrack is actually pretty good. I haven't seen the movie yet so this is holding me over.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

flip and tumble

I ordered a bag a from this place a few weeks ago and I love it. I have been trying to take my own bags when I shop. I have a couple great sturdy ones that I got at Trader Joes. The only problem is that they are too big to go in my purse and I tend to forget them when I go out. (Yes, I know, I need to keep them in the car. thanks)

I saw these on Design Mom, they looked handy so I got one. It rolls into a ball and fits in my purse, it doesn’t take up much room and it holds a ton. It was a little spendy, but my grocery store gives a 5cent credit when you bring your own bags, I’m pretty sure it will pay for it’s self over the long haul. That’s what I told my husband anyway.

Friday, June 6, 2008

I'm not dead...

...just really tired. I know an exciting camp recap was promised, it's coming, just probably not until Monday. I am beat, and trying to catch up on everything, and I have to speak in church on Sunday (who thought that was a good idea?!). So there will be a recap, and it will be amusing (I hope), but it won't be today.


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

It's Wednesday...

....you know what that means.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

While I'm away...

Do you miss me? I promise, not as much as I miss you!

Check these out, I would if I could-


Blah, blah, blah-(they do go on.)

Pictures of Paris-(the city, not the Hilton)

Big Mama

I'll be back Thursday with captivating tales of camp drama. I hope the suspense doesn't kill you.