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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

It was a l-o-n-g night.

When my husband is not home I have a hard time sleeping.

This weekend he took all of our sons and went camping, leaving me at home with the Demandatron. Which is possibly why I couldn’t sleep. After a “fun” night out, the prospect of a whole Saturday ahead of us has the potential to either leave one sleepless- or having nightmares.

After finally getting to sleep around midnight I woke up at 4:23 a.m. and could not go back to sleep. I turned on the TV, times like these are when some cable would come in mighty handy.

I found myself with few choices and settled on “Cutlery Corner”, you can check it out for yourselves at http://www.cutlerycorner.net/ .

Let me give you just a sampling of what you will find there.

On my television screen, at 4:40 a.m. I was amazed to see an array of knives like no other. The Cutlery Corner offers the sportsman it’s version of the Ginsu Knife collection.

--Hollow handled survival knife, with a 2 headed compass (is that like a two headed snake?). A sword, the color being offered tonight is Pitch Black. In all, 24 Pitch Black knives being offered for only $6.67 per knife. That’s right $79.99X2. And did you notice the Throwing Knives?—“folks I’ve seen a set of 3 Throwing Knives alone go for $30.00.” What a deal!!

“No one should be caught in the rush without these knives.” (What rush would that be? The after Thanksgiving early morning Wal-mart rush? The rush to judgment? The rushing river? Help me out here.)

But wait, then they brought out the granddaddy knife set of all time. Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen.

The 262 piece pocket knife set, that was it for me, I went back to bed. I know when I’m out of my league. The Dale Earnhardt knife, the AK47, offered tonight in firefighter red, the unbelievable bonus item—“give me a wide shot, because what I’m about to reveal needs a lot of room”.

“A’right here it is’’

A sword. But not just any ol sword.

A handmade Damascus steel sword made with up to 300 layers of steel, to give you a superior edge.

“Steel of this caliber is normally sold at about $100.00 an inch!! Ya gotta know, ya gotta know, you can’t find this anywhere.”

I’m not sure how they tie that Damascan sword into the pocket knife collection, maybe because it’s the bonus item, or maybe because most of their viewers are so hypnotized by the firefighter red AK47 pocketknife that they don’t care that the bonus item is not a pocket knife, or maybe I am just not seasoned in the ways of knife collecting, because truthfully, I can not even imagine the circumstances that would ever lead a person to feel good about buying 262 pocket knives in one shot EVER.

EVER.

1 comment:

blah blah blah said...

I have a hard time sleeping if Ward is not in bed. I too have recently had a difficult time sleeping and let me tell you that cable doesn't help. When I was pregnant there were a couple of nights when I was up ALL night long and all that was worth watching was VH1 classic 80s videos. I would rather stare at the furniture than watch informercials, I just can't watch them with their lunatic enthusiasm for the craziest things.

 
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