Saturday, February 23, 2008

What did I ever do to the Amish?

Amish Friendship Bread is not so friendly.

I suspect it’s not really Amish either-(the fact that instant pudding is involved leaves me doubting).

If you haven’t had the misfortune of having a “friend” bless you with some let me give you the details.

A friend drops by with a loaf of bread (good) and a Ziploc bag that contains a living “starter” and a page of instructions on the care and feeding of said starter (bad). You eat the tasty bread (good), and put the starter on the counter in your kitchen. In the morning the bread is gone but the starter remains (bad). For the next 4 days you “mush” the bag and release the air that accumulates in the bag threatening to explode starter all over your kitchen. Every night you pray that the starter will not escape from its prison and devour your appliances (bad) or your cat (could be worse). On day 5 you add ingredients and “mush”. The process continues for a total of 10 days, when you finally get to make some bread of your own. (good)

On day 10 you add more stuff to the starter including instant pudding. Then you divide it into 4 bags, one for you, 3 for your “friends”. You bake some delicious bread (good), but you don’t get to eat any (bad), because the only way to get rid of the starters you have created is to bribe the recipients with bread. If you are lucky enough to have a 7 year old daughter, you will be mushing and adding and baking every 10 days for the next year(not good at ALL).

I think, since I’ve always kind of thought kindly of the Amish, I’m going to call it “Fundamentalist Polygamy Bread”.


blah blah blah said...

You should call that stuff Islamic Terrorist bread!


blah blah blah said...

My "friend" brought me some of this "friendship starter" to my baby shower, but didn't bring me any bread:(

Someone threw it away when cleaning up after the shower and my friend was very upset with me, apparently that someone was just doing me a favor.


wesley's mom said...

I can't believe someone would have the nerve to try to pass that stuff off without AT LEAST giving you some bread!

If you called it terrorist bread you'd never get rid of it.