Thursday, January 31, 2008

Art, I like it!

Ladies and Gentlemen I present the the art of William Barnhart, an extremely talented and accomplished artist, whose presentation of the human form is unrivaled.

His pieces are displayed in galleries around the world and here on my blog.

His new building is amazing; a working studio and gallery where nearly all of the construction has been done by the artist. Metal work, glass work, concrete work, I could go on and on.

The studio is located at 506 N Center St. Mesa, Az. The official grand opening is not for a month or two but if you stop in, he might give you a tour.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Just a quick word of advice

In an effort to build those honest deep rooted relationships I spoke of yesterday I have some loving words for you *young marrieds” .

Life experience counts.
When your matronly old visiting teachers come to share their monthly message, don’t be smug. Don’t make that little half smile thing that says "Maybe in your house old woman, but that will NEVER happen here.” Looking down on us for letting our lives get out of hand won’t get you anywhere.

I hate to break it to you, but in just a few SHORT years you will be us. Forty won’t seem so matronly to you then. Embrace us, we understand you because we too smirked at women who were older and wiser. I am embarrassed about it now, and you probably will be someday too (you should be anyway).

Countless teaching opportunities were lost because I thought I was smarter than everyone else.

That’s all, just lighten up, we want to support you. We have been there; we know it’s hard to be young and trying to get it all right. If you give us a chance maybe we can help. Your toddler won’t die if he eats some dirt at our houses, and you’re not a failure if you let us fold your laundry. We know what it’s like, and we know that the only clean room in your house yesterday was the one we were in, and when you said you WANTED to weed the lawn you were exaggerating- but probably just a little.

One more thing, a sense of humor is invaluable. Get one.

*Official Relief Society term used to describe young recently married women who are sweet but don’t know a dang thing yet. Really, it’s in the handbook. (not really)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Laverne and Shirley

Question-are the kinds friendships between women portrayed in the movies (Steel Magnolias) and on TV (Sex and the City, Will and Grace) real or make believe? I know they only play friends in the movies, but I want to know, do most women have those kinds of close honest relationships. In my life I feel like I have never had any quite that real, even now at 40 I feel like I only have a couple that even come close. Could it be me?

I’ve been wondering about it.

I know a lot of people. I have friends who I have known for 15 years or more, a couple have been around since high school, they know all my dirt and I know all of theirs. I would do anything for most of these women, and I know they would do anything for me, some have. The catch is, there’s no intimacy, it’s all surface. It seems that time and familiarity, love even, aren’t enough. Women hold back. No one wants to let their guard down, and we certainly don't want to hurt each other's feelings or make anyone mad. All of the tiptoeing around makes it difficult to have that Lucy and Ethel relationship.

I want the kind of pal who will tell me the truth, and who can take it when I tell them the truth. Who will say-“I think you’re making a mistake” or “That is NOT your color, besides, it makes your butt look huge”. I want someone who cares enough about me to give good loving advice. I want someone who really wants to know my position. I want someone who likes me even if we don’t see eye to eye politically. I’m looking for someone who will discuss politics or anything besides decorating and childcare. I want someone who doesn’t gossip, and who will keep confidences, mine or anyone else’s. I want a friend who will join me in a bike ride to the brewery everyday, and help me fight off the advances of our slimy and stupid neighbors, and afterwards we can head over to my pops bowling alley to knock down a few pins.

It’s a two way street, I know that. “You have to be a friend to have a friend”, and there have been times in my life when I could have been a better friend. It's not easy telling the emperor his clothes are invisible. It's really hard, but I'm trying. I’m older and wiser and ready to settle down, has my time passed? Am I an old maid?

Is it because I don’t have a sister? I never learned “inside” girl stuff. I envy sisters. They can be honest (usually) without fear. I mean, like it or not, you’re stuck with your sister. Kind of a relief I would think. Maybe all of the women with sisters don’t need anyone else, and all of the women without sisters don’t know how to be sisterly to another woman? I have brothers, and they are great. I would say, aside from my husband, the relationships I have with my brothers are my most sincere. But I want a girlfriend. I’m lonely.

Here’s what I bring to the table. I love to read, good stuff though, not fluff. I like to know and discuss what’s going on in the world, and I like to hear someone else’s ideas, I know that I don’t know everything, enlighten me. I like funny people, but really funny, not goofy funny, think Arrested Development, not Jackass. I like good food, but I have texture issues, I know I’m limiting myself, I’m okay with it. I am sarcastic; I consider it a finely honed skill, if you can’t appreciate my talents, it’s probably best not to apply. I love my family, some of them live far away and I miss them. A lot. I think my kids rock, and I don’t talk smack about my husband. I love going to the movies, subtitles are my friend. I don’t exercise, but I won’t make fun of you if you do.

I wonder if I could get a reality show.

Monday, January 28, 2008


Rudy’s big day. Now we will see what happens when you put all of your eggs in one basket. I really think it’s over for him. I wish I could say I hate to see him go, he can be entertaining, but his time is up.

Here’s what I hope happens.

I hope that Barack Obama continues to kick Bill and Hillary’s butts, honestly, they’ve got it coming.

I hope that Romney closes in on McCain. I hear in some polls Mitt is ahead.

This evening our neighbor told us he’d like to see a McCain/Huckabee ticket.
I REALLY hope that DOESN”T happen.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


I had planned to refrain from even mentioning the whole Tom Cruise Video Scandal, I was absolutely not going to mock him. If anyone knows what it's like to have your religion mocked it's us Mormons. Turns out I don't have to, Jerry O'Connell has done the mocking for me. Truth be told he has done a way better mockery than I ever could have.

You really have to see both videos and compare. Since I am not so techno-literate and I don't know how to actually post a video on my blog you will have to go HERE to see Tom's version, and HERE to see Jerry's version.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The best one yet.

Guess what? I love my calling. A year ago when they asked me to be in Young Women’s I thought someone had lost their mind, mostly me for saying yes. I am a convert and for the last 17 years I have had callings in Relief Society, Scouts and Primary. I have led homemaking, taught the Sunbeams and been to Cub Scout Day Camp more than once. Some I have enjoyed more than others, but I have never felt so out of my league until this calling.

I knew NOTHING about the program, or teenage girls. I mean, I was one once, but not the kind that these girls would know anything about, thank goodness. I was scared to death. I couldn’t imagine having a conversation with them, forget teaching them. I felt overwhelmed, inadequate, unworthy. What could I possibly offer?

I was asked to be an adviser to the Mia Maids, girls who are 14 to 16 years old, the hardest group if anyone would have asked me a year ago. I was jealous of the Beehive leaders, their girls (12-14) are so fresh and excited over everything, and the Laurels (16-18) mature young ladies who speak in whole sentences, and are rarely overcome with giggles.

I heard rumors. The outgoing leaders wanted to give me warnings, these girls were legendary handfuls. Have I mentioned that I was scared? I wanted to say no. I almost did, but I can’t stand admitting that I can’t do something. Then I got a phone call from the new YW president. She's one of those women who has a presence and I was a little intimidated. She was so sweet and she said to me “I don’t really know you, but I have prayed about this and I know for certain that you are supposed to have this calling.” She assured me that we were all in it together. She has kept her word.

For six months I struggled. I completely wrecked lessons. I got names mixed up (one sure way to get the stinkeye is to call a 15 year old girl the wrong name). I wanted to quit every Sunday and every Wednesday. I felt like a fool week after week. Each week I came back borrowing the faith of my YW president. I learned about the program, I cringed over outdated lessons, I worried about the girls. I lost myself.

Then it came time for camp. They say either you love camp or you hate it. There’s no “I can take it or leave it.” You’re either in or you’re out. I figured myself for a camp hater. There’s the cheers, the bunk beds, LONG pants in August, are they kidding? Estrogen, 16 females in a cabin for 4 days, need I say more? No thanks. I really didn’t want to go, but because of the not admitting I can’t do something business, my hands were tied and off to camp I went.

Sounds hokey, but it changed me. I loved camp. I "slept" in the top bunk, I was sleep deprived, I ate camp food, I hiked 6.5 miles in and back out of a canyon, and by the end of the week I was singing and cheering like a woman possessed. No kidding. It could have been starvation and lack of sleep but I don’t think so. I started to see my own potential, I'm not sure I ever really
believed I even had potential before.

It’s still hard, and I still feel overwhelmed quite often. I don’t think the program is perfect, I bite my tongue a lot, and it is a huge commitment of time and energy, but getting to know the girls I work with has been one of the best experiences of my life. I see their strengths and I am in awe of them, I am so glad that I said yes to the calling and I stuck it out. Hopefully someday I will be able to offer them as much as they offer me.

PS-The Mia Maids are the BEST age. Stinkeye and all.

all the news that's fit to repeat

This morning my brother called (at the crack of dawn-same guy who doesn’t answer his door at 7:30am) to give me the morning news, because he is nothing if not on top of the events that shape our world. Here’s what he called to tell me, it’s good. It’s important. It might help you if you are worried about the economy, the election, or even the war.

“I read on CNN this morning that Paris Hilton thinks Britney Spears is a good mom and everyone should give her a break.”

I have so much to say about this, but I will keep it short and just say-“Well, DUH!!”

I didn’t have time to chat; I was too busy being a parent to my children to discuss what an idiot with no children of her own thinks of another idiot who has been deemed unfit by the courts. But later when I have some free time (6 or 7 years from now) I will be sure to look it up. I’m putting it on my list of “News I Need to Know” right now, (not really, all of my list are of like, what I need from Target, and things that need to be fixed, books to read, junk like that).


I interrupt this important news brief to tell you that there is a man--from a lawn service--at the house next door (which is in foreclosure, and really has no lawn to speak of because it’s dead from lack of service) the man pretending to do the lawn (because there is no lawn) is wearing a trench coat, is that weird? Cause it seems a little weird to me.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Lost and found

I am working too hard.
I have been wasting time actually LOOKING for things I've lost.

If you can’t find something here’s what you do, don’t move(if you move you might NEVER find the thing you've lost), stand very still and say-

Option 1- “has anyone seen…”

Option 2- “I can’t find …”

Option 3-“who moved my…..”

Any of these should make the missing item appear. If it doesn’t appear immediately say one of the above or a combination of a couple a little louder.

Monday, January 21, 2008

take my advice

Go see Juno.
Tonight, or tomorrow, wait until the weekend if you must, but go see it.
You won’t be sorry.
Then go get the soundtrack, it’s pretty cool too.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Write or wrong?

Yesterday my daughter came home from school and let me know that there had been a little trouble with her homework from the day before. The trouble was that she didn’t exactly do it all; she started out fine (she was supposed to write her spelling words, 10 words, 2 times each, not exactly a 500 word essay). She wrote the first 4 words, and she wrote the next 2 in cursive, then the rest in more “cursive” (scribble). She tells me that her teacher was upset (really?), so I say “I can understand that, did she make you redo it?”

“Yes,” my sweet princess tells me, “and I have to lose my recess for the rest of the week.”

Now, I am all for consequences, but this seems a little severe to me. First of all, if you don’t do your homework at all, the penalty is one day’s recess, second, I am not in favor of taking away the only 20 minuets of free play given to a 7 year old in a 6 1/2 hour day. Not just my 7 year old, but any 7 year old. You might say I am an advocate for more and longer recesses.

Because I am a good mother, one who has vowed to stand up for her children in the face of injustice, I decide I will have a chat with this recess revoking meanie. Bright and early I head off to the elementary school; I am greeted by the RRM who says “I guess you heard about you know who’s homework.”
Why, yes, I did.

---Disclaimer--I mostly like this teacher, she is a little “enthusiastic” at times, and I don’t know if I could stand it at a dinner party, but for the 2nd grade it works quite nicely.
I explain that I want to support her, but I think a weeks worth of recess doesn’t really fit the crime.

“I know” she says “and I didn’t really want to do it, but you see, the last time she did this”-----WHAT?! The last time? I was not aware there WAS a last time! At this point my sweet angel begins to bat her innocent little lashes at me ooooh!--- “the last time this happened, I told her that next time she would lose a week of recess, I probably shouldn’t have made such a big threat, but I was hoping there wouldn’t be a next time.”

Anyone who knows our daughter knows there is almost always a next time, she has what we like call "A mind of her own”.

I am trapped now, I have come to put my foolish foot down, without being armed with all of the facts, and while I still think a week of recess is too much, Miss Smarty Pants was aware that the offer was on the table and she took her chances anyway. Lucky for me you have to have a cool head to teach elementary school and the recess revoker says, “How about yesterday’s and today’s recesses and you guys come up with a plan for what the consequences will be if it happens again?” Perfect.

Was I wrong to go down there? Should I have backed up the teacher and said “No recess for you?!” Was she wrong to throw around threats that she hopes not to have to follow through on?

I think we were both wrong. I should have just called her and gotten the whole story before I went off all half cocked. She should be careful what kind of ultimatums she throws around, I mean, in 2nd grade logic doesn’t always prevail.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

This morning I awoke to several unpleasant situations, sick kids, sick dog (OOO, so yucky!), wet sheets (oh, how I tire of washing the bedding), cranky husband, but the very worst of all was that my son had spilt (it was an "accident") an entire bowl of Lucky Charms (not so lucky after all) on the computer keyboard. I think, all things considered (including the non-repentant attitude of a certain cereal spilling teenager) that I handled it pretty well. I didn't scream, not even at the dog, I didn't whine, there wasn't really time and I didn't tell my cranky husband to get over it (which took great restraint). I expressed my disappointment, I shampooed the carpet, I bought Canada Dry and some Parmesan Goldfish crackers, then I spent several hours finding and returning and finding another keyboard.

I should be working now, but now I have this really cool new cordless keyboard (with matching mouse!) and I wanted to use it for play, not work.

Besides, I have earned a break, right?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I am a fashionista

I have been wearing these

With these


Usually I wear these

Or these

But I can’t wear these

With either one of those


You can be embarrassed for me, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me if you run into me at Target, I have chosen comfort over fashion (what’s new) and I can live with it.

Oh yeah, Michigan
—GO Mitt! Do you think it was an honest win, or trickery? Does it matter?

I also wanted to mention, in case you haven't heard, it looks like Matthew Mc Conaughey is going to be a father and he is "stoked", does that make anyone else nervous? I mean they will give anyone kids these days. Please!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I resolve

At last, New Year’s Resolutions, yes I know it’s the MIDDLE of January; I like to try my resolutions on to see if they are going to work for me before I make a formal announcement.

1st *To eat less junk food (notice I did not specify how much less). I’m not even sure why I want to do this because I really like junk food (especially the kind they make at Jack in the Box) and I’m not big as a house (yet), but I have heard rumors, from far off lands, that I will feel better if I eat better food. I guess I could live with that.

2nd *Of course, I am going to try to get my scripture reading under control, I just can’t spend so many hours a day reading and pondering. HAAA! What I meant to say was, I am going to try really hard to form some better scripture study habits. (Better is somewhat misleading, as I currently don’t have any “habits” per say.)

Last but not least
*The biggest challenge
(I like that word better than resolution) I am giving myself is to spend more time with people who make me feel good, or make me want to be better, and less time with those who don’t. Seems like a given, but I have a tendency to not want to let anyone down, and to want EVERYONE to like me. I had an epiphany recently, I don’t like everyone and they don’t have to like me. And half of the people I am worrying about pleasing are people I don’t even enjoy being around.

Just admitting that to myself was huge. I am not a mean person, but I have opinions and I can be a little sarcastic ( it’s all in fun, I swear!!), and I am so tired of coming home from a night out with “friends” and replaying the whole evening in my mind to figure out if I need to call anyone and apologize for my big mouth. SO to that end I have decided that I am too old and life is too short.

That pretty much covers it. The other stuff, be a better wife, mother, teacher… Read all of the Sunday school and Relief Society lessons on my own…. Learn new things, finish all of my projects…. Those are all things I am really trying to do all of the time anyway, so I don’t see any reason to add more pressure by calling them to the surface and adding them to the rest of my unrealistic resolutions.

Coming tommorrow, my take on the Michigan Primary!!

Monday, January 14, 2008


I had a pretty exciting weekend.

Saturday morning I was on my way to stay with my nieces and I stopped to get doughnuts (because I believe in bribery way more than I believe in nutrition) and I noticed that there were 18 or more handicapped parking spaces at the grocery store. The parking lot was nearly empty but I still had to walk half a mile to get to the store. Seriously, 20 handicap spaces. I shop a lot, and at all different times of the day and night and I have NEVER seen 20 handicapped shoppers at once in any store I’ve been in. It’s crazy! I got my doughnuts, hiked back to my car and headed over to my brother’s house.
Here’s a little etiquette lesson: If you call your sister on Friday night at 9pm and ask her to be at your house (in Timbuktu, because you decided to live WAY on the other side of town) at 7:30 am, for Petes sake, be awake, answer your door. Don’t wait until she has sent you 3 text messages and the neighborhood watch is on her back (which, by the way, they wouldn’t have to be if they would just get their stupid gate fixed--so much for the security of a “Gated Community”). He finally woke up and let me in. My sister-in-law is heavily medicated due to some serious back pain, which is why I was there in the first place, so she could go have an MRI, so, by default my brother is in charge. It’s not pretty I tell you. His idea of a day out with the girls is to take them to The Bass Pro Shop to see the “raging river”, and to check out this seasons camo patterns.

Later in the day, I saw a Ron Paul Revolution banner. It was one where the “love” part looks like it has been stamped on backwards. This one had red glitter all over the love portion, proving for certain that 9 year old girls support Ron Paul.

Saturday afternoon I watched GOLDFINGER. If you haven’t seen it lately, you should pick it up. If you have never seen it-Shame on you! It’s a classic.
The opening scene is great. It takes place in Miami Beach, and James is wearing what looks like a terry cloth “jumper”, short pants, powder blue, with an elastic belt. He is at a resort where Goldfinger is also a guest. Coincidence, I think not! We see Mr. G playing cards with another old guy. Goldfinger is cheating. Why on earth does he need to cheat? Is it just for fun? He doesn’t need the money, he’s Goldfinger for crying out loud! Another thing, Goldfingers’ ring looks like a soda bottle lid spray painted gold, we soon learn that he is a certified jeweler. No wonder he has to steal gold; he’s not making any money off those rings.

Then we come to the golf scene, how James plays in those tight pants is a mystery, even more of a mystery is where did he conceal that gold bar? That had to be uncomfortable. Odd Job caddies all day and never breaks a sweat, what a champ, the grunting is a little much though.

I was a little worried that during James’ night run to the gold foundry that the blue straps on his backpack were going to give him away. You’d think that a place that can make oil slickers for your car could make sure your whole get up was black!!

My final remark on the movie is this. How is it that a woman named Pussy Galore would be offended by suggestive remarks. Come on!! Quite unbelievable, everything else had me hooked, but that…….

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Continuing Election Coverage

from my sick bed, yes, I still feel like garbage, thanks for asking.

Have you seen this-CNN Election Center-? Lots of charts and graphs to keep us in the know, up to the minuet, all that stuff.

If you haven’t played The Candidate Match Game yet you should give it a try. Kindof interesting, I wasn’t too surprised by my results. Play here.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

New Hampshire

I have the flu, at least I hope it’s the flu, whatever it is I hope it goes away soon. It is keeping me from my diligent coverage of the presidential primaries. Last night my daughter asked how much longer we had to watch the “New Hampsterdam” show, and I was so weakened I let her switch back to the Biggest Loser. I did catch enough to make these observations-

1. Grant Woods is TOTALLY sucking up to McCain. (Can you say Attorney General of the Whole Big USA?) Don’t fall for it comeback kid.

2. Barack Obama looks tired, maybe someone should get him a Naked Juice and a multivitamin.

3. I miss Dan Rather. I bet he would have had some words of wit and wisdom last night.

4. Mitt Romney needs to work at not letting the Olympics become his 9-11.

“There have been three races so far. I’ve gotten two silvers and one gold.” –Mitt

Michigan is next. I don’t even get to vote until next month. The anticipation is killing me!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Oh how I wish

I wish I could tell you that I didn’t eat half of the delicious veggie pizza that we had for dinner last night because I have self control and I know when to say “Enough”

I wish I could tell you that The Chipmunk movie was “cute” and had some redeeming qualities and that I didn’t keep checking my watch to see how much longer I would be subjected to the singing rodent torture technique

I wish this was a post about how I was able to con my husband into going to see Charlie Wilson’s War with me even though it’s rated R and he has sworn not to see R movies anymore, and oh how I wish I could tell you that he did not have to say “Get thee behind me Satan” to me while I was trying to convince him

I wish I could tell you that since I was able to corrupt my husband I didn’t go see I Am Legend, and I wish I could tell you that someone had warned me not to, not because it was scary, but because it made no sense at all, I wish I could tell you that someone in Hollywood has finally realized that the Fresh Prince has reached his limits and though he has saved our planet many, many, times he can do it no more


But alas, I have zero self control and the pizza was so delicious and I don’t really like cold or reheated pizza, so I had to take advantage of its yummy veggie freshness. Sadly this is not a “lesson learned” for me, I know in my heart that the next time the veggie pizza darkens my doorstep I will gorge myself again.

The Chipmunk movie was not redeeming in any way, any way at all, except that my kids enjoyed it so I guess that made it not a complete waste of my time (unlike the grown man two rows up from us who was there ALONE!!).

Yes, my husband did invoke Satan’s name, but I tell you on this morning of regrets, the worst part of that situation is not that my husband thinks I am evil, but that I actually sat through all of I Am Legend.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


What, caucusing on Saturday? Who knew? (not me) I have just seen that CNN is calling Mitt (who doesn't even mention WY on his homepage) the winner of the Wyoming GOP Caucus


In other much more important news my brother's wife gave birth to TWINS this morning. One of each. Very exciting!! Congradulations, and adios sleep for the two of you!! (not that a woman 9 months pregnant with twins has gotten much sleep lately anyway.)

Friday, January 4, 2008

Iowa Caucus Report

Note: Some events not as current as they could be-posting was delayed by my sister-in-laws back going out. I have been watching my nieces all day so their mom can rest, one of them has on a shirt that says “My dads bass is bigger than your dads bass”, I MUST have a chat with my brother, this can not continue.

In other news, justice in Pakistan will not be held up by the chasing of the wild geese. What a relief, I was worried they would not take this terrorist situation seriously.


Caucus Results and Analysis

1st-Mike Huckabee-Looks like there is a market for the kind of crazy he is selling after all.
2nd- Mitt Romney
3rd-Fred Thompson
Coming in 6th (behind Ron Paul) was Rudy who said “9-11, blah, blah, we’re saving ourselves for Florida, blah, 9-11, blah, blah”

1st Barrack Obama-No jokes here, I think it is amazing that a black man came in 1st on a night with huge voter turnout in a state whose population is 94.9% white. Congratulations.
2nd John Edwards-whose hair looked fabulous
3rd Hillary Clinton

There were a lot of great quotes last night but this one has to be my favorite. Someone on MSNBC asked
“Can Republicans get over their abject hate of Mike Huckabee?”

Well,I’m not sure if I can but it looks like they did in Iowa.

Stay tuned, New Hampshire is only a few days away.

Oh yeah, I guess I am a little bit of a political junkie/dork after all.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

It's all about Iowa

Do I dare admit that I am positively captivated by the Iowa Caucuses? I am not a political junkie, politics interests me, and I am doing my best to learn all I can to make an informed decision so I can vote for the best candidate, but a junkie, no way. At least I don’t think I am a junkie, but on the Charlie Rose show they have just revealed that the only people who are really paying attention to the Huckabee Ad Thingy (that’s the official name) are journalist(which I definitely am not) and political junkies (which I do not consider myself to be). If that’s true all I can say is –

“Wake up people, The Huck is no saint. He knows EXACTLY what he’s doing and that bookshelf/cross thing was NO accident!”

—sorry, I got (a little) carried away.
Any way, I am undecided, and I am convinced that my measly little vote counts, that being the case, I can’t tear myself away from the poll updates of who is gaining and losing and who may or may not win Iowa and how Iowa is or isn’t crucial to anyone.

Enchanted (my house, not the movie)

I used to think that my children didn’t change the toilet paper roll because they lacked the dexterity, then I thought they were just lazy, and for a week or two I thought they were out to drive me insane.
But what if it’s none of those things, what if they think we have pixies? So many things happen magically around here.

Dirty clothes disappear from floors and reappear clean in the laundry room.

Once or twice a week new food materializes in our pantry.

Things spill on the floor and counter and later vanish without explanation.

Our pets are fed once or twice a week, yet they survive, and never lose a pound.

So why not the toilet paper too? When you live in an enchanted house, one that knows and meets your every need, why would it ever cross your mind to change the roll when the Charmin is gone, and if you must get out another roll, go ahead, leave it on the floor, and don’t worry that you or your brothers will splash on it. The pixies will sanitize it. With their tiny little sanitizing wands.

I hope my children are all able to afford a fancy home of their own someday.

I cannot wait to visit them there.