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Saturday, July 23, 2016

Or a really hot day

I would say I spend 40% of my time feeling adequate, 50% questioning everything I do and say, and the other 10% feeling like I am far superior to the idiots I'm surrounded by. Sometimes someone will say something to me or I will overhear them, and BOOM. I turn into Captain Smug. The other day I happened to hear a conversation about insects. The conversers were specifically talking about cockroaches and the disgust they feel towards them, "I don't know about you, but I can't deal with anything that could survive a holocaust."

Guys, I felt like I was sitting in a David Sedaris story.

It took everything I had not to say, "I'm sorry, but I believe the horrible event you mean is a nuclear blast, or a famine, or some other manner of disaster, because victims of the Holocaust belonged to very specific groups, PLENTY of insects, and ...wait for it...even HUMANS survived the Holocaust."

I mean, did they even understand what the Holocaust was?

I was thrown off for the rest of the day. It's not often that I feel like I'm the smartest person in the room, but when it happens, I savor it.

Don't worry. By the next day I was back to overthinking my every word and gesture.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

We can't all be cheery princesses...

Gosh! Can you believe that last post? What a whiner I can be sometimes, huh? It's okay. I told myself to get over it (which ALWAYS works), then I stopped drinking smoothies 3 times a day (which, amazingly made quite a difference in my attitude).

A couple of weeks ago, a well meaning friend who knows I like to listen to podcasts, texted me a recommendation of a life coaching podcast she really enjoyed and thought I might want to check out. Listen, as far as I'm concerned life coaching and smoothie cleanses belong on the same list, but I'm really trying to be open minded so I downloaded the first episode and gave it a listen. Before long I found that I was taking notes...OF THINGS I WANTED TO MAKE FUN OF LATER!!! Which I believe proves beyond a shadow of a doubt I actually NEED a life coach. I think some of us are meant to be centered, and some of us are meant to be sarcastic jerks. It's the circle of life.

And with that in mind, here are couple of great things I read/saw this week....

This little girl is AWESOME!! Her dance class had a "Princess Day", and she showed up dressed as a hot dog. Take THAT Cinderella!!


And here is a video not about me...but actually TOTALLY about me.




Tuesday, May 31, 2016

So, I'm a little cranky. Big deal. Get off my back!

I'm annoyed. I won't say about what, because the list is LONG, and actually not very specific. Every single thing in the world seems to be driving me nuts lately. I can't explain it. None of the things are really awful but I'm walking around like its a terrible no good very bad day everyday and I'm telling you what...I need to shake it off!!

To make matters worse I decided to do a stupid smoothie "cleanse" this week. I've always hated the idea of cleanses, but my daughter asked me if I would do one with her, and I really do eat horribly so I thought, why not? Um, I'll tell you why not! Because I hate everything right now, and not being able to eat a candy bar for dinner is kinda not helping AT ALL. I would quit, but you know me, I'm no quitter!! I can suffer along like nobodies business!

Anyway, that's about it around here. I'm gonna go see if I can find some small children to growl at.


Sunday, April 24, 2016

Sometimes people are awesome.


I have not written a post about my super crazypants love of the Hamilton musical because A. When I first fell in love I was WAY too busy with school to write the post it deserves, and B. Now EVERYONE loves Hamilton, and you know how I feel about things that are trending. BUT...for once, being super popular has not made me love this thing any less (remind me to tell you how I about how I am so worried {yet at the same time happy for them} that the Avett Brothers are becoming super popular.)

ANYWAY!! 
I said all that to say this. Hamilton the musical is all kinds of awesome and sometimes I get lost on YouTube watching Ham 4 Ham videos, and this morning, while I was doing that I came across this...




Saturday, April 23, 2016

What? Me, worried? Nah.

I am what you might call...chronically unsure of myself. I find that I constantly need reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. Not only in the big things, but also in the silly things, like the route I drive to and from work everyday, or what kind of shoes look best with a given outfit. My hair, should it be long or short? Curly or straight?

My gut feelings carry zero weight. I need other  people to tell me I'm doing the right thing and that everything is going to turn out okay in the end.

I should really have a fortune teller on retainer.

I am 2 finals away from being a senior in college. That means I am 1 year away from having a college degree.

{My future college degree should be very nervous. There's A LOT of pressure on it to COMPLETELY transform my life.}

I have worked so hard to get here and learned so much, in both the academic sense and the cosmic sense. There have been times this semester when I wanted to quit SO badly. I would convince myself that this whole "getting a degree" thing was pointless. Then I would think of how humiliated I would be to give up, so I stuck it out, but the battle in my head continued constantly.

As I inch closer to graduation I'm scared. I want someone to tell me it's all going to be okay. That I'm going to get a great internship where I won't feel like an idiot because I'm older than, not only all the other interns, but probably my boss too. I want to be reassured that all of this work was worth it and that I will get a job doing something I love and I will be able to make difference in the world before I die (no pressure). I want someone to tell me my hair looks good and that the way I drive to work is the quickest and most efficient. I want to  know if vitamins really work, or if they are a waste of money. What about chickens? Will I regret it if I get a couple? Is having eggs that come from happy birds going to make me bitter because I have to clean up the mess?*

Is that too much to ask?

*(I already know the answer to this one.)

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

It's the best time of the year...

The weather is lovely, the air is heavy with the scent of orange blossoms, and the sound of basketball nearly drowns out the sound of primary season. Ahhh...Spring.

Selection Sunday is right around the corner so it's time for the annual bracket group post.

If you want in, the link to the group is HERE

Instructions

1. Click on the link to get to the group.
2. If you've played before use your same login/password from last time, or you can login through your facebook account.
3Pick your teams.
4. When your team wins you get points, whoever has the most points at the end of the tournament wins. (No magic crazy scoring systems that involve math, we use the ESPN rules.)
5. Winner gets one shirt, any team they want. Unless you don't like prizes, or you feel weird about claiming prizes, or you don't wear shirts. Most importantly... winner gets the glory, which everyone knows is better than a shirt. (Unless it's a Kentucky shirt, duh.)

 Brackets cannot be filled in until Sunday evening (the 13th) after all of the teams have been announced. The group will remain open until tip off of the March 17th games at that time the group will lock and you will be sad that you did not get in on the fun. 

*A couple of old posts that you might find helpful as you spend the next few days studying up.

On your mark,..get set... go!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Is there anything more jinxy than publicly announcing your resolutions?

This morning I woke up early with goals on my mind. Being in school takes the fun out of goal setting, because school is just one GIANT goal that consumes a great deal of my...everything.

There are lots of things I want to be more of~

Tolerant
Loving
Flexible
Patient
Informed
Relaxed
Generous
Spontaneous

However, thanks to my brain being unable to shut off, I thought ALL NIGHT long about what would be most beneficial to the me, and to my relationships with the people I care about (and probably even to the people I don't care about).

I came up with 3 things.

1. Focus. My mind is ALWAYS going a million directions at once. I read and "listen" at the same time. I talk on the phone while having conversations with my kids (could there be a WORSE thing for a mother to do? Call me dramatic, but I think not). My mind wanders when I'm talking to, well, lots of people. It's a terrible terrible terrible habit. Goal number one is to have ONE conversation at a time and always make eye contact if it's an in-person conversation. 

2. Balance. I get super cranky when I don't get my "space". It's selfish I know, but fortunately, I don't require massive amounts of personal time. So when I say balance I don't mean the scale will be set at 50/50, probably more like 97/3, but I think that making sure I get 30 personal minutes daily is, A. Not asking too much, and B. For me, plenty. Goal number 2 is to spend half hour of each day doing something that I want to do, like exercising, reading a non-school related book, or watching dumb TV.

3. Laugh. Listen, I gotta tell you, at this point I feel like my "goals" seem stupid, but I know myself, and I know that these three things are holding me back, so STOP JUDGING ME! Sheesh, When I laugh my whole disposition changes. I imagine most people feel the same, but I also imagine, and maybe I'm way off here, but I imagine most people have an easier time finding things to laugh about than I do. I love funny things, but, especially lately, my head is down and I'm hurrying from work to school to chores to bed and back again, taking time to laugh does not find its way onto my very full to-do list. Therefore, goal number 3 is to find the humor in my life. Honestly, this might be the hardest thing on my list.

Putting everything out here on the blog should help with accountability. I know that all three of my readers will be on pins and needles waiting for progress reports. I'm also going to straight away (I've been watching a lot of British TV over the break) set monthly dates in my calendars to evaluate my progress, AND I'm going to tell my phone to remind me. Hopefully I will annoy myself so much I will be impossible to ignore.

I feel like I never do anything the easy way. These are not very specific or measurable goals, and maybe I will forever be a terminally serious and grouchy person who is unable have meaningful relationships because I am not able to give my undivided attention to any one thing at a time or laugh at silly stuff. But I hope not, because that would be sad.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

The sad part is, I can't even make myself care.

Y'all, I am a grown woman who cannot remember when she last showered. I am offically a bag lady.

I can't remember if I've showered, so I certainly cannot remember what I have written about here in the last 6 months, but in my head I have composed dozens of posts about my fears of transferring to ASU from community college, and how I just KNEW it was going to be horrible, and possibly kill me.

Turns out those fears were 100% justified.

Going to "real" college is about to do me in. At least 3 times a week I seriously entertain the thought of quitting school.

This is dumb. Right? I cannot quit school. RIGHT?

I love my classes (unless they are taught by cheery non-cynical people. BTW, cheery non-cynical people, you are annoying.). What I don't love is feeling like everything is going so quickly that I don't have time to savor what I'm learning. I want to roll around in the Federalist Papers and read all 6000 pages of Democracy in America. I want to hang out with other nerds and talk about just war theory.

At the same time, I want to talk to my kids about boys who are jerks and what color tie to buy for homecoming. I want to watch 20 episodes of Parks and Rec with them and eat ice cream and laugh our heads off.

I want to be everything to everyone, is that so much to ask?

WHY DON'T I HAVE A TIME MACHINE YET??!?!?!?


The 10 minutes I stole from homework to write this were up 3 minutes ago. It's been real. Light a candle for me, k?

 
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