Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Apparently I have opinions...

This morning, when students around the country will be walking out of their classrooms, I want to vent about the guns.

 {Amendment # 2~ A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.}

I suppose we could start by hashing out what the 2nd amendment REALLY means, but like a lot of things, interpretation is everything, right?

You know, I’m actually not going to talk only about the guns, not that I don’t have opinions about guns, I DO have opinions about guns. Mostly, I would like you to give them all to me so I can melt them down and build a wall around my house to keep the stupid people out.

Stupid people and their reactions to guns, and every other damn thing, THAT’S what I want to talk about today. And also, Facebook. A platform I love to hate. Perhaps I should give it up, but I don’t want to. I like keeping up with faraway friends and family, and I don’t even mind knowing their opinions on certain topics. I’m all about some healthy back and forth. I LOVE a good debate, but you know what I don’t love? Stupid people.

Stop telling me that school shootings happen because God is not allowed in schools. God, I have heard, is permitted in churches, which have been known to be the sites of cruel judgments, gossips galore, mental abuse and the location of shootings, bombings, and arson out the wazoo. Good things happen in churches too, this isn’t about churches, it’s about hypocrites. People who say that the righteous are protected or that we need to learn from our trials. Does it ever occur to these nuts that maybe the lesson is for them and they're not learning it?

Stop telling me that gun regulation is communism. I don’t think that word means what you think it does.

 {Communism: political and economic doctrine that aims to replace private property and a profit-based economy with public ownership and communal control of at least the major means of production (e.g., mines, mills, and factories) and the natural resources of a society. Economic and social system in which all (or nearly all) property and resources are collectively owned by a classless society and not by individual citizens. It envisaged common ownership of all land and capital and withering away of the coercive power of the state. In such a society, social relations were to be regulated on the fairest of all principles: from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Differences between manual and intellectual labor and between rural and urban life were to disappear, opening up the way for unlimited development of human potential.} 

Stop telling me that mass shootings are a result of improper parenting. I have been both the recipient and the delivery mechanism of poor parenting. Neither I, nor my children have shot up the joint. However, I can give you examples of individuals raised in strict, but loving, religious homes, who are now serving time for murder and a host of other crimes.

Stop telling me that I don’t understand the symbolism of the forking confederate flag. Please, for the love of all that’s good, go and read a couple confederate state constitutions. The state’s right most important to the southern contingency was the right to make a living off the backs of ….wait for it….SLAVES. Put your damn flags away and stop using this line to excuse your racist tendencies.

I don’t like guns. My husband has a few, he’s not what I would call an enthusiast, but he believes that they offer him (us) some level of protection and he enjoys going shooting with our kids now and again. The guns he owns are handguns. We do not have any AR-15s or anything extra “cool”, and frankly, I think I would probably throw a pretty big fit if that were something he wanted to buy. I’m not going to lie, I have thrown fits about the guns he has now. I think they are unnecessary and dangerous and more likely to cause injury to someone we love than to a bad guy, but on this topic he keeps his guns locked up, so we have agreed to disagree. (Marriage, am I right?)

Here’s what I think the real bottom line is. We can’t lay the blame for these shootings all on the NRA and gun owners. We also can’t lay all the blame on mental illness, or poor parenting, or lack of religion. What we can do is admit that, in America, things are complicated. There are layers, and, maybe I am a communist, because I think we need to adjust the way we allocate….everything. We live in an extremely unequal society that claims to value children and kindness. And, do you know what? I think on an individual level, most of us, if we saw our neighbor struggling, would help. At least that is what I see in those I’m closest to. But on a larger scale, we don’t want to be compelled. The same guy who would give up a whole weekend to fix a neighbor’s leaky roof or take meals to a sick family will not abide by higher taxes to provide stronger social safety programs and better schools. Everyone knows how poorly teachers are paid, but do you guys have any idea how little social workers make? It’s an embarrassment! Do you know how hard it is to get good care if you are an elderly person without resources in this country? We have to pull it together and realize that we're getting what we pay for.

We’ve become a bargain hunting society and, like my dad always told me, you get what you pay for. We expect Nordstrom services at Walmart prices, and, well, that's just not how it works.

I'm going to leave it there. That was a lot of words. More than I expected to spew today. Recently someone said to me that if we could all just be human beings and treat each other well things would get better. I think he's right, but we have to treat EVERYONE better, not just those who look like us or act like us. EVERYONE.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Good news/Bad news

Good news: Pinterest DOES have premade to-do lists! 

Bad news: I spent thirty minutes browsing the offerings before deciding I would need to make my own list because none of the "pinned" lists had every thing I wanted. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018


I sat down at my desk 30 minutes ago to make a to-do list, BECAUSE THE MOTHERS ARE BOTH COMING TO TOWN IN A MONTH!!!!!!!!!! (Thanks a lot kids who think it's a good idea to get married 😒) First I just had to take a quick spin through Facebook and Twitter. UGH. That was not a good idea. These news days there's no such thing as a quick look at Twitter. I mean, I don't even watch The Bachelor and I now know all about poor poor Becca. Ugh. That guy.

So, I am just realizing that when I copy and paste into Blogger the formatting is weird. In the draft it looks normal, but after I publish, things are wonky. That's a thing I suppose I need to figure out. But not now....later...when I'm finished making my to-do list.

Hey...I wonder if there are pre-made to-do lists on Pinterest.....


Y’all...I am tired. Why am I tired? Thanks for asking. I am tired because I get no sleep. Why don’t I get any sleep?
That’s a great question. I don’t get any sleep because A. I am a light sleeper and B. My cohabitators are not quiet.
To be fair, I’m not accusing them of being purposely loud, they are probably operating at normal noise levels, but I
am just so “sensitive” that I wake up at the slightest peep.
My husband works nights so, ideally (I mean, ideally in the lame way a thing can be ideal when you and your
husband are on opposite schedules) I should have the bed to myself most nights. However, it’s not shift work.
Sometimes it lasts all night and other times he’s doing some day work and some night work and sleeping when he
HOLD UP! I know what you’re thinking. How can I complain about my lack of sleep when my husband is working
such wonky hours?! I get it. You’re 100% right. I try to be extra accommodating because his sleep schedule is not
a schedule at all. BUUUUT...when he gets in the bed NOTHING wakes him and he snores like a forking freight train
so most nights I sleep in the spare room.
This shouldn’t be a big deal because the bed in the spare room is amazing. Like better than my bed. When the
conditions are right I sleep like a baby in that spare bed. Problem is, the spare room is right next door to my son’s
Kids, man….
He has an alarm set for 3 AM. His goal is to get up and run (AT THREE AM???) before work everyday. What
actually happens is his alarm goes off. BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. FOREVER. Then he snoozes it and
15 minutes later the process starts again. I’m not sure if he has ever gone for a run, but he must feel just as
exhausted as if he had because of all of that waking and snoozing. I know I do.
Just about the time the fitness snoozing stops and I’m falling back to sleep his regular alarm goes off and he’s up to
get ready for the day and making all the noise that goes along with that.
No one is intentionally keeping me awake. Like I said, I’m a light sleeper. I’ve considered ear plugs, but then I
wouldn’t hear my alarm.

I’m so tired. I feel like a cranky toddler. Wah. Wah. Wah.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018


This writing more thing is...well...going alright.

I always feel better when I write and I know that, but there are often things that get in the way. Not having enough time, feeling like I don't want to post something ridiculous or boring, worrying that I'll be judged, not wanting to be political.

Gosh. Who cares? I'm nearly 50 years old, when does all this stupid worrying end? I mean, if I'm really doing this for me, how about I just let the words come out and see where the chips fall, right?

So, I have a bunch of drafts/rants saved, and for no other purpose except to get back to having everything clumped together in one spot, I'm going to go ahead and post them a few at a time. I'll try to come up with a label to signify whether something is old or new. Not that I think anyone is reading this stuff anyway, but it will make me feel a little more organized.

PS~ Since I last blogged (not yesterday, but months...years...ago) Blogger has added a feature that lets you add "special" characters.

🐌👹👃😥 (←disapointed, but relieved face 😂).

I don't know man, I might just have to resort to putting my messages in symbol form.

Monday, March 5, 2018

January Books

I’m trying to read more. When I was in school I read constantly, but not always something that was
interesting, and hardly ever fiction. Now I can read whatever I want, and there are a million things I want
to read, in fact, I was thinking this morning about all of the “content” I wish I had time to consume. There
are about 8 books on my nightstand, my amazon cart holds another 40+ that I’m dying to get to, then
there are the 15 podcasts I subscribe to, news articles, blogs, and emails calling to me constantly. Every
once in awhile I fantasize about a future where I can just absorb things. Can you imagine?!

In the meantime, I’m plugging along the old fashioned way. Here are the books I read in January...  

Crucial conversations~Patterson/Grenny/McMillan/Switzler

Let me start by saying, I am not a fan of self-help, positive affirmations, or meditation. This book was recommended by someone I
respect so I gave it (a very cynical) shot. Imagine my surprise when it turned out that I LOVE THIS

I started it late last year and tried to take my time since it is, in my opinion, not a book to zip through. I
took notes and highlighted the snot out of every chapter. The gist is that we (most of us anyway), don’t
know how to navigate conversations when there's a lot on the line. The authors do a great job of
encouraging you to be accountable for your words and motives, and teaching you how to really listen
and care about what others are trying to communicate.

I have high hopes that by continuing to revisit the book and my journal I'll be able to strengthen my
personal and professional relationships. All the thumbs up!!

Dark Money~Jane Mayer

This is a deep dive into the history of hidden money in our political system and more importantly, the end
goals of the donors. I found the stories fascinating...in a frightening way. It’s definitely biased toward
“outing” conservative think tanks, but it led me to some interesting google searches. I’m certainly not
naive enough to think that there isn’t a liberal version of this going on, but if nothing else it's an important
reminder not to take anything at face value, ever. We humans are a self-interested mess.

Lincoln in the Bardo~George Saunders

I’m trying to crawl out of the the non-fiction rut I’ve been in for the past couple of years and this was a
great way to start. It takes place on the night young Willie Lincoln ( I KNOW!!!) is laid to “rest” after his
death from typhoid fever, and is largely told by the other spirits who find themselves in limbo in the
cemetery. It took me a chapter or two to fall for Saunders writing style, but by the time Abe makes his
first grief stricken appearance I was all in. I have always found the story of Willie's death to be one of
the most heartbreaking times of Lincoln’s presidency, and I loved idea of telling it from this perspective.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

2 DAYS IN A ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After I posted yesterday I had a little look around, and, welp, the last time I wrote was November 2016.

What I said about the internship and my career "explorations" were true, mostly. I mean, I set this thing to private, so technically I could have been writing, but gosh, it has been hard to put my thoughts together in a way that felt ...productive.

BOOM! That's what November 9, 2016 felt like to me.

I wasn't the slightest bit prepared for the result. Sure, I encouraged everyone to vote, no matter what party. And I had gone on and on about the process, and democracy, and blah blah blah, but when push came to shove I was stunned. Y’all, I did not really think you were going to vote!! WTH? For months, MONTHS!!! I held a secret hope that I would wake up one morning and find that there had been a terrible mistake and we were going to get a do-over.

That has not happened.

For eight years I listened to friends and family talk about the horrors the Obama administration was visiting on our country, and their fears that the institutions most dear to them were being destroyed. Each time I heard one of those comments I would (internally) roll my eyes and think, “Simmer down drama pants.” But just like that the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one struggling to function and constantly worrying about the future.

I can be dramatic and over-reactive, but it usually only lasts a day or two then I move on. I’m not a grudge holder. I don’t dwell on negative things for long periods of time. I’m a glass half full girl. But this I could not let go, and for a while I was sad. Like really sad, about everything. Typing that is a little bit embarrassing, but I think we all know the greatest value of the internet is the platform it offers us to share our crazy with those we love and also those we’ve never met.

So I hid out. I was sad and I had a job with a “No social media” rule, which turned out to be very convenient in my time of electoral humiliation, but, while I'm still pretty sad, I'm done hiding out. I need to get some things off my chest. Not just political stuff, I've got kids getting married and other kids having kids...guys...I AM A GRANDMA!! And that is...whoa...different. Not bad, just different. Also, I've been watching A LOT of TV, and the stack of "to read" books next to my bed is dangerously tall, and fashion, as usual, I don't get it. Last night my son told me his girlfriend is going to dye her hair grey. WHAT?? I've spent the last 20 years dying my hair NOT grey.

Let’s talk, k?

Friday, March 2, 2018


Guys, long time no talky. I missed you....I missed writing...for an imaginary audience. During my internship last year social media was forbidden and since my ultimate goal is to work in politics in some capacity I've been trying to keep a low profile and remain neutral, but a couple of months ago I posted a very non-neutral rant on Facebook, which is a highly unusual thing for me to do, and all of the likes and comments and fake popularity made me remember how much I like blogging.

Writing for/to other people is, for me, a push/pull kind of thing. I want need to write. I haven't been posting here, but I've written a million drafts and have been journaling like the crazy woman you all know and love. For as long as I can remember I've kept a journal, then I found blogging and it was a way to journal and get feedback and offend my friends and neighbors all in one swipe.

So I write. Then I edit and edit some more. Then I post and re-edit. Then I worry worry worry about how my adoring public will react to what I have written. Then I either enjoy the love or wonder why no one has commented. It's really an unhealthy relationship.

I wish I was drawn back here because I'm giddy about something fun or funny, and hopefully that will come, but the truth is, right now, I'm just tired. Everything seems so hard all the time. Remember back in the day when life was easy and carefree?


Me neither.

Everyday it's bad news in the ...you know...news. Or a crappy day at work or a hard day with my kids..WHO ARE NEARLY GROWN...WHEN DOES THAT STOP?!?!?!

Anyway...I have a lot to say, and a lot of words saved in the draft folder, so let's just see what happens shall we?