Friday, July 6, 2018

So much for redemption

I always have "post regret"...that's a thing right? As soon as I hit publish on any form of social media...or, 9 times out of 10, send a text, I start to rehash all the words I just typed and sent out into the universe.

Ugh. Being me is EXHAUSTING.

* * *There were jokes about the second civil war all weekend, but this morning the news is all about the real trade war. It makes me want to throw up. I'm going to have to see several movies this weekend to distract myself. (BTW..Watched the handmaids last night....JOSH!? Please please please handmaids people, don't let Bradley Whitford be a rotten guy. I need him to be nice to Emily. We ALL need that. These are trying times.)* * *

Anywho...post regret. I woke up this morning feeling like I said too much yesterday...especially that line about the Maker's Mark.(..did you guys know bourbon is being affected by the trade war? I feel like forking Carrie Mathison, I need a spool (a big spool) of red thread to connect all the dots.) I was going to edit the post but that would have left me with a list of 9, and also, I just don't care...much...it is what it is, right?

Or is it?

Gosh, my plan was to put a few coherent words on the page to distract from yesterday's crazyfest, but it appears the crazy will not be contained. Apparently all the words just need to come out. (that's not true, believe it or not, there are so many words that I am holding in) The bottom line is, this is a place where I've always felt like I could dump all of my thoughts, who knows why I feel the need to make them public, perhaps I enjoy having anxiety. The biggest reason I'm feeling squeamish lately is that I've been more vocal about politics. These have always been my views, but for most of my life I tried to be a well mannered southern woman who didn't talk about money, sex, or elections with my friends. I still don't talk about money or sex, but it's become impossible for me to not to share my political views when I feel like so much is at stake.

Also, I'm kind of embarrassed that it has taken me so long to be open about things because I know that is a luxury many people don't have. So...it's a process, and I'm getting there, but part of that is practicing saying all of the words, not just the ones that don't offend anyone.

K. Enough for now. I'm at work...eek!! Gotta get back to making money for the Man. (who, as luck would have it, in my case is a woman. #girlpower)

ps~why do I have to make excuses, like "these are my crazy thoughts"? Different doesn't = crazy. Sheesh.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

True Confessions

My gosh y'all.
I write, then I don't, then I do again. WHAT?!

When I don't have time to write it's because my life is full of stuff. Usually good stuff, or at least stuff that I find important and fulfilling. Unfortunately, those are the times I would most like to remember, but ironically am too busy to record. Life, am I right?

I am on the instagram and I post there...often enough. I miss the blog though. Writing makes me...calm.

Here are 10 things to remember...

1. Yesterday Eli wanted me to go hiking with him, I said no (because hiking on my day off? Nope), but then I said yes (because how often do your grown kids ask to hang out?). We had just barely gotten going when I spied a young rattlesnake..Crikey!!!! I jumped about 10 feet in the air while saying the f word.

2. I have eaten my weight in watermelon these past few days. And that's okay with me.

3. I have also eaten my weight in bread and oil. Probably not as okay as the watermelon.

4. I would rather stand outside in 107 degree heat handing out balloons at a campaign event than go to my job. Which is saying a lot, because I mostly like my job. I just like feeling like I'm doing a little something to change my tiny corner of the world.

5. I used to wonder how people could be so distraught about President Obama (TBH I still don't get it), but now I find myself AT LEAST once a day needing to be talked off the ledge. I mean, you guys, I knew it would be bad, but never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed the things we are seeing on the daily.

6. See #5, sometimes I have to wait a day or two to watch an episode of Handmaid's Tale because it's just too close to home. Other times I pause halfway through and have an intermission where I watch an episode of Blackish (OMG, were you guys afraid Bow and Dre were going to divorce? I don't think I would have been able to take it.)

7. I have a bottle of Maker's Mark in my cabinet that I bought for a recipe. Sometimes I take it out and smell it, for old times sake. I haven't had a drink since before I got married but earlier tonight I moved the bottle to a higher shelf to discourage myself from having a sip. See # 5.

8. There is an Instagram account called Cheap Old Houses, and about once a week I seriously consider buying a $50K house in Iowa and running away from everything.

9.  The Avett Brothers have been my favorite band for about 6 years. I never ever get tired of listening to them. I don't care if that makes me boring.

10.  I haven't had a haircut since January. I need one, but I'm lazy and I don't want to do it. This is especially embarrassing since my daughter in law cuts my hair and COMES TO MY HOUSE to do it. Soon I will look like Cher, and I'm not sure I care.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Monday, March 19, 2018

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Apparently I have opinions...

This morning, when students around the country will be walking out of their classrooms, I want to vent about the guns.

 {Amendment # 2~ A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.}

I suppose we could start by hashing out what the 2nd amendment REALLY means, but like a lot of things, interpretation is everything, right?

You know, I’m actually not going to talk only about the guns, not that I don’t have opinions about guns, I DO have opinions about guns. Mostly, I would like you to give them all to me so I can melt them down and build a wall around my house to keep the stupid people out.

Stupid people and their reactions to guns, and every other damn thing, THAT’S what I want to talk about today. And also, Facebook. A platform I love to hate. Perhaps I should give it up, but I don’t want to. I like keeping up with faraway friends and family, and I don’t even mind knowing their opinions on certain topics. I’m all about some healthy back and forth. I LOVE a good debate, but you know what I don’t love? Stupid people.

Stop telling me that school shootings happen because God is not allowed in schools. God, I have heard, is permitted in churches, which have been known to be the sites of cruel judgments, gossips galore, mental abuse and the location of shootings, bombings, and arson out the wazoo. Good things happen in churches too, this isn’t about churches, it’s about hypocrites. People who say that the righteous are protected or that we need to learn from our trials. Does it ever occur to these nuts that maybe the lesson is for them and they're not learning it?

Stop telling me that gun regulation is communism. I don’t think that word means what you think it does.

 {Communism: political and economic doctrine that aims to replace private property and a profit-based economy with public ownership and communal control of at least the major means of production (e.g., mines, mills, and factories) and the natural resources of a society. Economic and social system in which all (or nearly all) property and resources are collectively owned by a classless society and not by individual citizens. It envisaged common ownership of all land and capital and withering away of the coercive power of the state. In such a society, social relations were to be regulated on the fairest of all principles: from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs. Differences between manual and intellectual labor and between rural and urban life were to disappear, opening up the way for unlimited development of human potential.} 

Stop telling me that mass shootings are a result of improper parenting. I have been both the recipient and the delivery mechanism of poor parenting. Neither I, nor my children have shot up the joint. However, I can give you examples of individuals raised in strict, but loving, religious homes, who are now serving time for murder and a host of other crimes.

Stop telling me that I don’t understand the symbolism of the forking confederate flag. Please, for the love of all that’s good, go and read a couple confederate state constitutions. The state’s right most important to the southern contingency was the right to make a living off the backs of ….wait for it….SLAVES. Put your damn flags away and stop using this line to excuse your racist tendencies.

I don’t like guns. My husband has a few, he’s not what I would call an enthusiast, but he believes that they offer him (us) some level of protection and he enjoys going shooting with our kids now and again. The guns he owns are handguns. We do not have any AR-15s or anything extra “cool”, and frankly, I think I would probably throw a pretty big fit if that were something he wanted to buy. I’m not going to lie, I have thrown fits about the guns he has now. I think they are unnecessary and dangerous and more likely to cause injury to someone we love than to a bad guy, but on this topic he keeps his guns locked up, so we have agreed to disagree. (Marriage, am I right?)

Here’s what I think the real bottom line is. We can’t lay the blame for these shootings all on the NRA and gun owners. We also can’t lay all the blame on mental illness, or poor parenting, or lack of religion. What we can do is admit that, in America, things are complicated. There are layers, and, maybe I am a communist, because I think we need to adjust the way we allocate….everything. We live in an extremely unequal society that claims to value children and kindness. And, do you know what? I think on an individual level, most of us, if we saw our neighbor struggling, would help. At least that is what I see in those I’m closest to. But on a larger scale, we don’t want to be compelled. The same guy who would give up a whole weekend to fix a neighbor’s leaky roof or take meals to a sick family will not abide by higher taxes to provide stronger social safety programs and better schools. Everyone knows how poorly teachers are paid, but do you guys have any idea how little social workers make? It’s an embarrassment! Do you know how hard it is to get good care if you are an elderly person without resources in this country? We have to pull it together and realize that we're getting what we pay for.

We’ve become a bargain hunting society and, like my dad always told me, you get what you pay for. We expect Nordstrom services at Walmart prices, and, well, that's just not how it works.

I'm going to leave it there. That was a lot of words. More than I expected to spew today. Recently someone said to me that if we could all just be human beings and treat each other well things would get better. I think he's right, but we have to treat EVERYONE better, not just those who look like us or act like us. EVERYONE.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Good news/Bad news

Good news: Pinterest DOES have premade to-do lists! 

Bad news: I spent thirty minutes browsing the offerings before deciding I would need to make my own list because none of the "pinned" lists had every thing I wanted. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018


I sat down at my desk 30 minutes ago to make a to-do list, BECAUSE THE MOTHERS ARE BOTH COMING TO TOWN IN A MONTH!!!!!!!!!! (Thanks a lot kids who think it's a good idea to get married 😒) First I just had to take a quick spin through Facebook and Twitter. UGH. That was not a good idea. These news days there's no such thing as a quick look at Twitter. I mean, I don't even watch The Bachelor and I now know all about poor poor Becca. Ugh. That guy.

So, I am just realizing that when I copy and paste into Blogger the formatting is weird. In the draft it looks normal, but after I publish, things are wonky. That's a thing I suppose I need to figure out. But not now....later...when I'm finished making my to-do list.

Hey...I wonder if there are pre-made to-do lists on Pinterest.....